


Dashboard Bagels

by JLia



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Age Difference, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Human, Ambiguous Relationships, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Casual Sex, Drug Addiction, Drugs, F/F, Friendship/Love, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Drug Use, Recreational Drug Use, Relapsing, Slow Burn, Tags May Change, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Underage Smoking, non-canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-07-29 06:07:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 23
Words: 49,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7672981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JLia/pseuds/JLia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Homeless teen Lapis finds a surprise in her car.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dashboard bagels

**Author's Note:**

> This is just something I thought of while visiting family. I don't really know if I will continue because I don't have anything beyond this. We will see.

“Ma’am! Ma’am!” Lapis dashed up to a smartly dressed woman with wild white hair as she was about to enter the gas station. She judged her suspiciously with golden eyes. Don’t sound too rehearsed, Lappy. Sound as desperate as you can.

“I’m sorry, ma’am. I have no gas in my car. It’s stuck right at that pump.” She turned and pointed to the beaten silver Malibu sitting at one of the gas kiosks. “Can you spare a little so I can get enough gas to go home? Anything will help.”

“Sorry. I don’t,” she replied briskly and entered into the store.

“Thank you for your time,” she called after her. The clerk at the counter gave her a dirty look through the glass. Lapis was tempted to flip him off, but she didn't need him to come after her. She was already reckless by asking for money right by the store. Luckily, he hadn't called the cops—yet. Lapis went back to her car, leaning against the side and watched for a new target. She had been at this for a couple of hours. All she had managed was about $3. That was barely enough for a hot dog and a drink.

Lapis had been living out of her car for six months now. Her current foster parents could care less where she was as long as the paychecks came in. So, she decided to strike out on her own.  At seventeen, she was old enough to take care of herself but not old enough to be completely out of the foster system.  She was unable to rent a place until she was eighteen and Lapis refused to go to a shelter. She had her Bob, her car, which was all she needed. However, Bob required gas, Lapis needed food, and both required money. Since she did not have a job, Lapis resorted to panhandling for some extra cash.

“Hey, blue.” Lapis looked up to see the woman from before coming up toward her. Blue? Seriously? The woman was noticeably muscular underneath her orange pantsuit and walked like a stalking predator. Lapis pushed off her car, feeling the need to stand up straight.

“Yeah.”

 "Turn on your car," she ordered, arms crossed over her massive chest. Lapis nodded and walked around her vehicle. She slipped into the driver seat and shoved her key into the ignition. Bob sputtered and whined for a moment before roaring noisily to life. The white-haired woman leaned in and inspected her gas gauge. The gauge indicated that her tank was empty but, little did the woman know, it always read empty. Just one of the many issues with Bob that Lapis couldn't afford to address.  This seemed to satisfy the woman, and she stalked back into the store. Lapis smiled triumphantly. 

Soon the panel showed that the woman had put twenty-five dollars on the pump. Wow. Very generous, she thought. Lapis took the nozzle from its dock and shoved it into Bob. She waved at the woman as she exited the store and yelled an appreciative thank you. The large woman did not respond and slid gracefully into her black Mercedes. Once she had driven out of sight, Lapis set the nozzle back. She had pumped at least ten into her tank. That should be enough for a few days, Lapis decided before heading into the store. The clerk, a young boy with stretched ears and puffy hair, glared at her when she stepped up to the counter.

 "Can I get the change for pump five?" He eyed her suspiciously but opened up the register. Lapis sighed with relief because she was taking a major gamble that the woman paid in cash. Lapis thanked him for the money and went on her way. She slid back into her car and turned the ignition again. Once again, Bob sputtered and whined and started up. He popped and roared as she drove away. She had $18 to spend on some food and maybe splurge on some hair dye. Lapis also needed to find a place to shower.

 She drove to the closest 24-hour store and parked Bob in the very back. It was getting late, and it was about time she turned in for the night. The sun was setting, and the sky was painted with beautiful hues of pinks and oranges. One of her headlights was busted, and she didn't want to risk getting pulled over for it. The store was icy when she entered. It was pretty busy, but it was a Friday. A lot of people were getting paid and gathering their food for the next two weeks. Lapis ambled through the aisles; she needed to stretch the $18 as much as she could. She did; however, plan on buying her hair dye. Blue raspberry Kool-Aid was a cheap alternative to the pricey professional dyes. 

Lapis grabbed some apples, some plastic cups, lunch meat, cheese, bread, chips, cereal and a small pint of milk. She couldn’t forget to buy ice for her cooler to store the perishables in.  This should last her a few days at least. Lastly, she bought the cheapest travel sized shampoo and body wash. When she checked out, her total came $17.50. Lapis really was cutting it close with her purchases. She said good night and collected her things. Instead of heading out, Lapis made her way to the back of the store. There was a family restroom in the back which meant she could have some privacy when she dyed her hair and washed up. She would just have to be quick.

Locking the door, Lapis set down her supplies. She filled one the cups with the hottest water from the sink and poured the Kool-aid mix in. Lapis swished the liquid until the powder dissolved into the water. She examined herself in the mirror for a moment. A pale face with light freckles sprinkled over the nose, large blue eyes and pink lips stared back at her. Her short hair had started to fade into a light shade of blue. She was going to need a trim soon. Lapis ducked her head into the white sink and carefully poured the contents of the cup onto her hair. With her hands, she messaged the handmade dye into her hair until it was fully saturated. She reached into the pocket of her jeans and pulled out her shower cap.

 When she had stuffed her wet hair into the shower cap, Lapis lifted up her head and squinted at the mirror. Blue streaks were running down her face, and her hands were stained blue.  Lapis pulled out some paper towels and whipped it off her cheeks and forehead. She had about thirty minutes before she had to rinse. Lapis took a seat on the cold tile floor and fixed herself a sandwich while she waited for her hair to set. She would need to do laundry soon; the clothes on her body were looking dirty and rough. Lapis only had one other clean outfit left, and she would need it to do her laundry in. The irony, she thought. 

 Thirty minutes passed by very slowly but eventually it was time for Lapis to rinse out the dye. She grabbed a handful of paper towels and dunked her head under the faucet. Cold water hit her head, and she nearly hit her head from shock. Lapis fiddled with the knobs until she got to the perfect temperature. The water turned bright blue as it rinsed out the Kool-Aid. Once the water was clear again, Lapis used the paper towels to pat her hair dry. She removed her shirt and jeans, standing in her bra and underwear. She took a scoop of the running water and splashed it on her body. Little by little, Lapis washed her body until she felt adequately clean. She used the rest of the paper towels to clean up the mess she made before gathering her things again and left the bathroom. An associate saw her exit and gave her a nasty expression. Lapis shrugged it off.

 When she got back to her car, Lapis opened up the back and took out the little blue cooler. She dumped out the water that collected in there and poured the fresh bag of ice in. Lapis rearranged her items so they were kept cold underneath the ice. She grabbed her pillow and blankets from the back seat as well as her sun shield. Sliding into the driver seat, Lapis noticed the brown bag sitting on her dashboard. She scowled. Where did that come from? She looked around before snatching it. Inside was a cinnamon bagel, a small cup of vanilla cream cheese, $100 and a note. Lapis did not recognize the handwriting, but it was apparently composed with care. Lapis shuddered at the words. Nope. Hell no. She wouldn’t be staying here tonight. Headlight be damned. Lapis turned on her car and raced out of the parking lot.

 

_Here is a personal favorite of mine._

_Enjoy._

_Money is for your broken headlight._

_See you around_

            


	2. Old Friends

No matter where Lapis would go in the city, her mystery bagel person seemed to follow. He or she would leave different types of bagels—along with cash and a note--on her dashboard. The notes always ended with the same ‘see you around.’ They obviously weren’t joking. This had been going on for two months and Lapis still hadn’t been able to throw them off her trail. When she thought she had succeeded, Lapis would find a brown bag with a different type of bagel and some cash. She was becoming increasingly paranoid by the stalker; each time she got her car, she was extremely alert of her surroundings.

 It always happened when she was in places for extended periods of time like washing up in the store or doing her laundry at the mat. Even if Lapis kept a close eye on her car, the brown bag with the bagels would appear. Lapis went as far as to pay someone to watch her vehicle while she shopped for supplies. She came back to find the brown bag and her lookout was clueless on how they got there. No one came near the car, he told her. Lapis was sure he was lying, and someone paid him off. He did not even bother to collect the money she offered and walked off with a shit-eating grin.

Lapis refused to touch the money that her enigmatic benefactor continued to give her. With each bagel delivery Lapis received, she was given a good amount of money; the note usually suggested getting something fixed on Bob or buy some new clothes. The notes would never address why she had not used the money. Soon Lapis had $500 that she would not use. She was afraid that one day they would come and collect on their generosity. Lapis couldn’t imagine what someone who gave a homeless teen excessive amounts of money would want in return. So, Lapis kept the cash tucked away in her glove compartment. She had no qualm eating the bagels because, frankly, they were delicious and easy to repay.

Today had been a very productive day for Lapis. She has earned $150, which allowed her to fill up Bob, stock her cooler and even buy some junk food. Afterward, Lapis still had roughly $50, and she decided that she could make a trip to the next town to visit Amethyst. Since the appearance of her bagel stalker, Lapis had been longing to get away from the city. She knew that Amethyst would let her crash at her apartment for a night or two. Lapis had become friends with Amethyst in her third foster home. Though it didn't work out with her foster family, Lapis and Amethyst remained good friends. When Lapis was placed in her current family, it was harder to keep in touch because Amethyst lived over an hour away.

The drive to Empire City was nice. The open highway was calming; Lapis enjoyed the brisk wind whipping through her hair and the vibrations of loud rock music blaring through her speakers. She was able to release her inner speed demon racing down the highway. It cut her trip down by fifteen minutes, but she had to be careful not to get pulled over by the cops. Lapis was almost disappointed when she pulled up to Amethyst's apartment and cut the engine. At least she could look forward to the journey back. Lapis climbed up the steps to the third floor and knocked on the door of apartment 3D. Amethyst yelled from inside and granted Lapis entrance.

 The apartment was dark; the heavy curtains were drawn shut. It was smoky, and there was the unmistakable smell of weed in the air. The first room was the kitchen and dining room. It was surprisingly clean for Amethyst. This meant that Amethyst's little brother, Steven, had been taking care of the apartment. Lapis stepped through the doorway into the living room. There was large, brown couch placed in the middle of the room. The smoke was a lot denser in the living room. On the couch, Amethyst was hunched over with an open box of pizza on the coffee table in front of her. She had set down a rolled up joint in an ashtray. Beer bottles and snack bags littered the floor and table.

"Don't you fucking work," Lapis asked, plopping down next to Amethyst. Amethyst was in the middle of some game. Her fingers frantically attacked the black controller in her hands. The players were fighting viciously on the screen; one jammed his hand into the chest of his opponent and ripped out his heart. Lapis wrinkled her nose at the violence.

“Yeah, I fucking work,” Amethyst muttered.

“Looks like you haven’t left your house in days. Maybe weeks.”

“Blow me, Lappy.”

 "I'll pass," Amethyst grinned. Lapis watched the battle on the screen, leaning her head against her hand. 

“So, where have you been,” Amethyst asked absently.

“Livin’ out of my car. I’m going on eight months.” Amethyst whistled, the controller in hands clacking underneath her fingers. The men on the screen grunted, groaned and screamed.

“That long, huh?” Lapis simply nodded, glancing over at Amethyst. Her long pastel purple was pulled back in a sloppy ponytail, and she was wearing a white tee over black pants. It looked like she had just bathed and changed. Her tongue was stuck between her teeth as she concentrated on her game. She couldn’t really communicate with Amethyst when she was “in the zone” or whatever she called it. Lapis asked for a beer and Amethyst just grunted a response. Lapis rolled her eyes and went into the kitchen.  She pulled out some unrecognizable beer and joined Amethyst back on the couch, taking a large swing of the bottle. It wasn’t too bad; she finished it pretty quick. It had been a while since Lapis drank alcohol and she could not resist helping herself to another one.

Amethyst was seven years older than Lapis. She had been living on her own since she was eighteen. Three years ago, she had become the guardian of her younger brother, Steven. Their mother, Rose, had passed away and their father, Greg, was in no position to take care of the young boy. Greg was far from a deadbeat but, like Lapis, he was living out of a vehicle. The courts demeaned him to be unfit and gave Amethyst a chance at custody of her brother. Amethyst loved her brother too much to watch him put into a foster system. She told Lapis one day that she was the reason she couldn't bear doing that to Steven even though Amethyst didn’t feel like she was fit to raise him. So far, it looked like things were working out. However, in Lapis’ honest opinion, Steven was more the adult than Amethyst.

 Lapis finished another bottle and went to get another one. She decided to help herself to some food as well. It was nice to have some hot food even warmed up pizza. Just as she was taking a bite, the door swung open. Steven was walked in with his thumbs looped in the straps of his backpack. The book bag looked like it was heavy; he was hunched over under the weight. At first, he didn't seem to notice Lapis standing in the kitchen with a pizza in one hand and a beer in another. He slammed the door shut, muttering something under his breath. Lapis heard Amethyst's name. Steven threw down the bag and looked up.

 "LAPIS," he screamed in delight. He rushed up to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. He had gotten a lot taller since the last time Lapis had seen him. She remembered Steven being shorter than her, and, now he was at her level.  Steven squeezed her tightly before letting go.

“When did you get here?”

“About an hour ago. I came into extra money and thought I would visit.”

“That’s great! Are you staying the night?”

“That was the plan.”

“Great! You can have my bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.” Lapis’ face fell at the thought of him giving up his bed for her.

“No, no. You don’t need to do that.”

“I want to! It’s no problem! Honestly.”

“Thanks,” she replied with a weak, crooked smile. Steven gave her another quick hug.

“I am going to wash up. Help yourself to anything.” Lapis presented the pizza and beer bottle.

 "Already have." Steven's eyes flickered to the beer, but, he didn't say anything. He was used to Lapis drinking or smoking when she came to visit. However, he had stated before that he did not like the idea of Lapis drinking while she was underage. It always amazed Lapis that he was only three years younger than her but acted so much older. She always felt that he and Amethyst had switched roles. 

While Steven went to take a shower, Lapis rejoined Amethyst on the couch. Amethyst was still invested in her game, so Lapis snuck a few drags of her blunt and devoured the rest of her pizza. The combination of beer and weed had a wonderfully relaxing and euphoric effect on Lapis. It was a sensation that she missed. When she lived with the foster family, Lapis would always hang out with Amethyst to get high or drunk or both. Luckily, Amethyst was never caught giving alcohol and marijuana to a 13-year-old girl; unfortunate for Lapis because she was caught in the middle of a high by her foster mother. That was the last straw for them.

 "So, what brings you here," Steven asked. Lapis didn't realize he had come out of the bathroom. His brown hair was damp, and, he had changed out of his school clothes. Steven sat cross-legged on the recliner with a bag of Chaaaps in his lap.

“Someone’s been following me,” Lapis replied casually. Steven froze in the middle of eating a chip. Even Amethyst stop beating at her controller to gape at Lapis. The opponent on the screen gave Amethyst character a swift kick and knocked off his head; blood spurted everywhere as his body fell to the ground. Lapis giggled at the ridiculous violence.

“Wha da fuck do you mean someone has been following you,” Amethyst demanded, twisting her plump body to get a better look at Lapis. Lapis smiled and reached behind her to pull out the stack of notes from her pocket. She handed them over to Amethyst and took another drink of her warm beer.

“Always comes with bagels, money and a note,” Lapis slurred. “I have about $500 from this guy.”

 "And you have no idea who this is?" Steven asked as took the stack from Amethyst as soon as she was finished. Amethyst was scowling, her leg crossed over her knees as she leaned back against the arm of the couch. 

“None whatsoever.”

“How long has this been going on?” Steven continued his interrogation, examining the notes carefully.

“Two months.”

“You haven’t brought it to the police.”

“Fuck no! If I brought that stuff to police, I’d be right back in foster care. I have three months until I turn 18.”

“Did they break into your car?”

“No. The locks don’t work properly. They literally can just open the door and put it in.”

 "Lapis! That's dangerous! They could just open the door while your sleeping and…" Steven didn't finish his sentence, but Lapis knew what he was thinking. "Lapis. You need to stay with us."

“Huh? Come again, little bro? I can’t afford to feed another fucking mouth. I am barely making enough to support us.”

“But, we can’t let her continue to live in her car. If this person decides to stop being so nice…” Steven protested.

“I get that, Steven. But, you got to understand. I CAN’T FUCKING AFFORD IT!”

“Woah. Woah. Don’t fucking worry, Ame. I ain’t moving in. Steven. Thank you for the concern but I gotta side with Amethyst. I am not putting you out. I’ll walk out of here now if I have to. Forget I mentioned it.” Lapis hastily grabbed the stack of notes and shoved them back into her pockets. She took a long swing of her beer, finishing it off and slamming on the table harder than she intended. “I’m going to bed. Thanks for your room, Steven.”

“Don’t mention it,” he mumbled, crossly.

 


	3. Towed

Lapis slipped out of Amethyst's apartment early in the morning before anyone woke up. The sun was barely touching the horizon when she walked out into the chilly air. She felt bad for sneaking out, but she did not want to be confronted by Steven again. He had that way of making her feel guilty, and she did not need him trying to look after her. She had been on her own for eight months; Lapis was content with doing it alone. Well, she wasn't entirely alone, was she? There was the matter of her stalker. Lapis was stubborn, and she was not going to let this nuisance change her way of living quite yet.  
  
There was no bag in her dashboard when she slid into the passenger sleep. Ha, fucker. Lapis smirked as she turned the key and her car struggled to life. Guess they didn't want to travel too far, she mused, shifting into reverse. Lapis raced out of the apartment parking lot and onto the road. It was too early for a lot of people to be out. She spotted a few cars and a couple of pedestrians walking on the sidewalk, but the road was otherwise deserted. Lapis stopped to get a cheap cup of coffee and a donut from the gas station before heading back to Beach City.  
  
The drive was uneventful and pleasant. Again, Lapis rolled down her windows and sipped on her coffee. She would need to get back to work when she got into town. She would need to put some gas into Bob, and that would take the majority of her money. Lapis took a moment to recall the last few places that she had gone. She needed to be careful and avoid visiting the same area in such short amount of time. In the first few months, Lapis had made that mistake, and someone called her out. Luckily, Lapis was able to run off before the cops arrived. She was not going to make that same mistake again  
  
Lapis decided that the gas station on Pine and Birch would be a good place to start. It had been about two months since she had been there. That was where the generous woman put $25 into her tank. Hopefully, she wouldn't be there again but two months was a decent amount of time. Finishing her coffee, Lapis headed over to the gas station. Hopefully, she wouldn't have to use any of the money she had on hand for gas. Lapis pulled into one of the parking spots next to the store and cut the engine. The station was empty, but it was still too early for the morning rush.  
  
She dozed off for a few minutes in the front seat until she was awaken by the urge to use the restroom. The coffee had finally taken effect on her bladder. She rubbed her eyes, stretching out her back. There were a few cars parked in front of the convenience store and one stationed in the port. Why did it look familiar? Lapis did not dwell on it too long. Nature was calling. She rushed through the glass door and headed straight to the restroom. When she was relieved, Lapis headed back to Bob to begin her begging. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the police officers walking around her vehicle. Her headlight!  
  
A moment of panic rushed through her. Her heart raced; she heard the rush of blood in her ears. For a moment, she considered ducking back into the store and waiting until he left. It seemed like a reasonable plan. But, what if the cop came into the store? What would she do then? Lapis debated on what would be the best idea. Her fists clenched and unclenched in a nervous habit; her sharp nails were digging into the flesh of her palm. She must have been incredibly obvious because the cop looked up at her.  
  
"Miss, is this your car?" Lie, a voice screamed in her head. Just lie!  
  
"Y—Yes, officer," she replied, shakily. It took all her strength to close the distance between her and the police officer.  
  
"Did you know your headlight is out?"  
  
"Is it?" Her voice was so weak. He responded with a simple nod, pulling out his notebook.  
  
"Can I get your license, registration and proof of insurance?"  
  
"My—my insurance?" Lapis felt unbelievably warm, and her chest painfully tightened. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Trembling, Lapis opened the passenger door and fished through the garbage on the seat. She handed him her license and registration. Before she started living out of her car, Lapis held a job at a local coffee shop. Every penny she earned went to buying Bob, so the vehicle was in her name; free and clear of any debt.  
  
"Insurance, miss." Fuck.  
  
"I—I don't have any," she confessed, softly. She was trying hard not to burst into tears, but her bottom lip was beginning to tremble.  
  
"No insurance?" Lapis shook her head, afraid to even speak. The cop sighed, taking out a pen from his breast pocket. He clicked it and began scribbling something on his notepad. More people were beginning to arrive, and they were watching the scene with interest. Lapis felt the heat rise into her cheeks. This—this was embarrassing, she thought, waiting in painful silence for the policeman to finish his writing. The scribble of his pen stopped after a few minutes, and he tore off the sheet. "I would advise you to call your parents to pick you up and get your personal items out."  
  
Lapis just nodded and stared at the tickets through blurry eyes. $300. She had $300 in tickets to pay and her car was going to be towed. There was a lump in the back of her throat as she struggled not the sob. Lapis kept her head down as she shoved her clothes and blankets into a bag and pulled out the cooler. There wasn't much else that she wanted to take with her. Well, except for the bagel money. She couldn't stop shaking. Her stomach was in knots, and she felt tears spill down her cheeks. Her mind was completely numb. She couldn't think; her body was on autopilot.  
  
Lapis took her stuff onto the sidewalk, avoiding all the curious, judging stares. She leaned against the wall of the store and slid down to the ground. I am truly homeless, Lapis realized, bitterly. She couldn't go home. She no longer had a car. What was she going to do? Why was this happening now? Her head dropped into the crook of her elbow. She could no longer fight back the tears as she heard the officer call for a tow. All she had was $530 in her pocket, some clothes, and cooler. That was it. How pathetic was she? Deep in her misery, Lapis was vaguely aware of some standing next to her. Their large form cast a large shadow over her.  
  
"I told you to get that headlight fixed, Blue." Lapis' head quickly snapped up. The white haired woman was leaning against the wall. She was dressed more casually this time with a red tank top that barely contained her large breasts and black jeans that hugged the muscular curve of her legs. Lapis noticed her skin was discolored in some areas of her arms and chest. Her white hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail; there was a cigarette dangling from her lips. Lapis slammed her hands down onto the concrete and scrambled to her feet.  
  
"You?! It was you?! You are the one who has been following me? Wh—what the actual fuck? Why? What do you want?" The woman sneered, handing Lapis a tissue.  
  
"Keep your damn voice down and clean up your face." Angrily, Lapis snatched the tissue from the woman, whipping her eyes and nose. The police officer didn't seem to notice Lapis' outburst or he chose to ignore it. He was patiently waiting for the tow truck.  
  
"You better fucking tell me what the hell is going on," Lapis snapped.  
  
"You didn't say please."  
  
"Fuck you! How about that?" Lapis grabbed the cooler and her bag of clothes, preparing to storm off. The woman casually took the cigarette from her mouth and tapped the embers onto the ground.  
  
"Where are you going to go, Blue?"  
  
"None of your damn business," Lapis hissed, walking away. A thought crossed her mind that caused her to stop. Muttering under her breath, Lapis pulled out the wad of cash from her jean pocket. She took the woman's hand and shoved the crumpled up bills into her palm. The woman's gold eyes flickered to the cash then to her.  
  
"Keep the change," Lapis told her before leaving with her cooler and clothes in hand. She had a feeling that this wasn't going to be that last time she saw that woman. But, at the moment, it just felt good just to see the face of her mysterious bagel stalker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I looked and looked for why a vehicle would be towed and such but it depends on each state. Plus, it didn't really address a situation like this.


	4. How about lunch?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the feedback.

 Lapis never felt like she was actually homeless. She had her car; it provided a roof over her head, privacy and an area to store her belongings. It wasn't ideal, but it had been home. Now that it was gone, Lapis felt the stress of living on the streets. She was fortunate the local homeless shelter had open beds the last few nights. There were about 50 beds crammed into one large room. She couldn't get over the discomfort of staying in a room of complete strangers. It didn't help when they started turning people away. What if it had been a family with little kids? Lapis could be taking up a bed for a young child. It made her feel guilty, but the fear of sleeping on a bench or in an alley was too great. It was also nice to have a hot meal for a change.

She was still furious at the white-haired woman. The more she thought about it, the more Lapis was convinced that she tipped off the cops. Lapis still did not understand her motives and she did not care to find out. She had three more months. She just had to wait it out for three more months. It was hard to think positively when she was lying in a cot, listening to a baby cry and a strange man muttering to an unseen presence next to her. Lapis could not return to her foster family. It wasn't even an option that she would consider. Lapis knew her luck would run out soon, and she would be out on the streets for a night.  She refused to exchange herself for a place either.

During the day, Lapis wondered around the city. It was a little harder to beg for money. Her car seemed to garner more sympathy. People would ignore her or resort to obscenities or call her names. She heard some of the nastiest comments from people when she approached them. They accused her of being a junkie or an alcoholic or a prostitute. It did not help that all she had was a pair of short jeans shorts and a white tank. There were moments of kindness. An older couple offered to buy her lunch instead of giving her money. Lapis knew the reason behind this, but she wasn't going to turn down a meal. She had to sell her cooler because it became impractical to carry it around and she had no more use for it.

It was a particular blistering day. Lapis wasn't in any mood to panhandle on the unforgiving, scorching streets; just a few minutes in the sun and she was slick with sweat. She had a few dollars for some food and water, so she wasn't in dire need of cash at the moment. Once she bought her lunch, a cold bottle of water and a bag of chips, Lapis found a cool, secluded space down an alley. It was hidden away from the hustle of the streets but allowed her to watch as people hurried passed. She could use a smoke at the moment. It would have taken the edge off her stress. She couldn't go to Amethyst, and she promised herself never to buy weed until she had her own place. Dipping her hand into the bag of chips, Lapis noticed the blonde standing the by the entrance of the alley.

 Lapis had seen her a couple of times in the last few days but, she did not think anything of it. The girl probably worked or volunteered in that area. There was a plethora of shops and restaurants too. Lapis saw a lot of the same people around the shelter as well. But, this—this was suspicious. The last thing she needed was being found by a cop or jumped by or whatever horrible scenario she could imagine. The blonde was rocking against the wall that faces the busy street. 

Now and then, Lapis caught her glancing at her. Scowling, Lapis grabbed another handful of chips and shoved them into her mouth. After a few careful chews, she began to choke; Lapis gagged and coughed and dropped the bag. Sure enough, a pair of hands wrapped around her torso and went to push up. Caught ya! Lapis pushed the girl’s hands away from her trunk and spun around. The girl looked at her with disbelief. The disbelief quickly faded into realization. She knew Lapis had tricked her. She crossed her arms over her chest, looking flustered and angry.

“That was cheap,” she scolded Lapis. Lapis shrugged and picked up the bag.

“You’ve been following me,” Lapis replied, matter-of-factly, examining the girl. She had blonde hair that was immaculately slicked back; her green eyes were magnified under a pair of large, round glasses; she was wearing a lime green blouse and black slacks; she was a few inches shorter than Lapis and had flawless makeup. She looked like she should be behind a desk and not following a homeless teen. The blonde sighed, fixing up her glasses and nodding.

“My employer instructed me to follow you.”

“Your employer?”

“Yeah. Jasper. Do you know her?” Lapis shook her head, shoving some chips into her mouth. She had a pretty good idea though. The white haired woman was sending her minions out now. "Well, I work for her, and she wanted me to keep tabs on you."

“Why?”

“How the hell should I know? I graduated with honors in business and technology. I was not hired to babysit some homeless teenager,” the blonde replied, exasperated.

“Looks like you made some bad decisions,” Lapis snickered. The girl sputtered angrily.

“Excuse me? Are you serious? I’m not the one living on the goddamn streets. I don’t think you should be telling me about bad decisions!” Now, Lapis was pissed and she wanted to punch this girl; however, without another saying word, Lapis simply took her water sitting on the ground and proceeded to leave. Panic flickered over the girl's features, and she quickly grabbed Lapis' arm.

“Hey, hey! I am sorry.” Lapis glared at the nicely manicured hand on her arm then at the blonde’s face.

“You better take your hand off me,” she growled, softly. She did as Lapis asked and pulled her hand away. The blonde looked tired and scared as she ran her hand through her locks. The perfect coif came undone and pieces of hair stuck out.

“I have this bad habit of opening my big ass mouth. I’m sorry, okay? It’s just…forget it…doesn’t matter. Let me make it up to you. Lunch…anywhere you want.”

“I got it covered,” Lapis replied, holding up her bag of chips. The blonde raised a skeptical eye.

“That’s not lunch. Seriously. Let me get you some _real_ food. You like Italian? I know a great Italian place nearby.”

“No strings attached.”

“Ah—what? No. No. Think of it as an apology for what I said. You see, if my boss found out, well, I’d be dead.”   
“So, it’s not an apology as much as it is not wanting to be in hot water with your boss,” Lapis asked, snickering.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“I can respect that. Lapis.” She extended an oily hand to the blonde. The girl looked at her hand with mild disgust but took it anyway.

“Peridot. Now, let’s get you a decent lunch!”


	5. Business Card

As she ravenously devoured her food, Lapis realized it been a while since she had such a savory meal. The shelter had good food, and the volunteers were decent cooks. Most of the food was donate from charities or some local shops, so they had to work with what they received. She couldn't complain about a hot meal. However, portions were small. They were enough to keep the edge of hunger away, but they never made her feel full. Lapis ate a handful breadsticks, a salad and a large plate of chicken parmesan; she felt unbelievably full. It had been so long since she felt like that. Peridot watched her with interest, picking at her small plate of spaghetti.

“For such a tiny girl, you sure can pack it away,” Peridot commented. Lapis grinned, spearing the last piece of chicken and shoving it into her mouth. She nodded, trying to chew quickly before she spoke. 

“No way I would let this go to waste!” Peridot smiled, pushing her plate toward Lapis.

“You can have mine. I’m not too hungry.”

 "Really?" Peridot nodded. Lapis wasn't going to wait for her to change her mind; she eagerly took the plate from Peridot. She moved the empty one to the side and heavily sprinkled the saucy spaghetti with parmesan cheese. Peridot was right; this place was pretty great. It wasn't too high end, but it wasn't some hole in the wall. The owners obviously took pride in the appearance of their establishment. It was clean and well kept. They created a very welcoming, homey atmosphere. 

Peridot and Lapis did not speak to each other. There were some casual pleasantries before their food arrives but, for the most part, they ate their meals in silence. Well, Lapis ate; Peridot just watched. It did not bother Lapis too much. She was too engrossed in her meal to care about the unnerving attention.  It was not until she had finished half of Peridot’s spaghetti that she realized that she was intently watching her. Lapis wiped her mouth with a napkin, her eyes narrowing suspiciously.

“Do you have more to say,” she challenged.

“Huh? No. Well, yes. More like questions because, well, I’m curious.”

“You or your boss?”

 "Both." Lapis leaned back in her chair with her arms crossed over chest. She ran her tongue slowly across her teeth. 

“I don’t think I feel comfortable with someone else knowing personal shit about me.”

“Fine. Nothing will get back to my boss. Strictly between us,” Peridot held up three fingers. “Scouts honor.”

 “Maybe after dessert, I'll feel a bit more open to talking," she finally said. For a moment, Lapis considered asking for money, especially since there was no guarantee that the information would not be relayed to the white-haired woman. Something deep down stopped her. She did not feel like resorting to this strange type of blackmail. Peridot seemed surprised by this, but she agreed, calling the server to the table. Lapis decided to order tiramisu. She had never had it before, and it appeared to be an appropriate time because she was not paying. Once the server came back with her dessert, Lapis signaled Peridot to begin her interrogation.

“Um…where are your parents?”

“Which ones?”

“I don’t get it,” Peridot replied, dumbfounded.

“I have biological parents and foster parents.”

“Biological.”

“My mom is in prison; my dad is nonexistent.”

 "Why is she in prison?"

 "Made really bad choices," Lapis smirked. "When I was five, she left me at some park. I was picked up by police. She already had a long rap sheet, and it didn't help she was completely messed up when they finally found her."

“I’m sorry.”

“Eh. What are you going to do? My foster parents…I don’t know. Probably home throwing beer bottles at each other. Don't really care." Peridot only nodded. She seemed to be taken back for a moment. Lapis was all too familiar with this reaction. It was a mixture of discomfort, pity, and disbelief. Peridot fiddled with her glasses for a moment. She took them off, cleaned them off with her shirt and placed them back before clearing her throat.

“Did you graduate high school?”

“Surprisingly, yes. I graduated a year early by taking accelerated classes.”

“Really?”

“No,” Lapis laughed. “I dropped out in my junior year.”

 "Oh, um, well," Peridot fumbled. She wanted to say something, Lapis realized. She was trying hard to hold her tongue. Peridot had already messed up, and she was trying not to repeat the same mistake. Lapis leaned forward, resting her arms on the table and looked directly at Peridot. 

“Look, Miss Degree. I am not some dumb ass kid who drop out of school because I just didn’t want to go. I have a plan. It doesn’t include a pretty high school diploma. Not everyone gets a diploma,” Lapis said flatly.

“I didn’t say anything,” Peridot lamented.

 "You were thinking it, though." Lapis tapped her head and leaned back in her seat. Peridot slowly rubbed her temple. 

“Okay. Whatever. Moving forward. How long have you been homeless?” This caused Lapis to scoff.

“Well, I never considered myself homeless until your fucking boss had my home towed.”

“Wait—what? I thought you never met her!” A look of bewilderment crossed Peridot’s features, revealing fine lines against her mouth and eyes. Lapis shrugged, tilting the chair back, balancing on the back two legs.

“Wasn’t sure if it was the same woman. White hair, kinda big, splotchy skin?”

“Yes. That’s Jasper.”

“I met her once. When my car was towed. I was living in there for eight months before your damn boss got involved. Now, I am in the shelter.”

“I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

“Whatever. It’s not your problem, right? You were just told to watch some homeless brat by your boss.”

“Your words, not mine. I wouldn’t call you a brat…yet," Peridot smiled, and they both laughed. The server came with the check and handed it to Peridot. Peridot opened up the small black book, nodded solemnly and reached into her purse. She placed the card in the book and handed it back to the server. Lapis noticed that the server kept eyeing her while waiting for Peridot to pay. He was probably trying to access the situation, she told herself. Some well-dressed woman with a blue-haired teen clad only in a tank top and short was probably not something he saw every day. Or, if he did, it was for a shady reason. Lapis couldn't help but smirk at him, wrinkling her nose. Wouldn't you like to know what's going on, she thought.

“Okay, so you are living at the shelter now. How long to you plan on staying there?” Peridot wasted no time getting back to her questioning.

“Three months. Once I turned 18, I age out of the system. There is a program in BC that helps teens transition. Gives them a place to stay, helps them get their GED, finds them a job, all that jazz. Just need to wait it out,” Lapis explained. Peridot nodded, fiddling with her napkin.

“Sounds like you have a plan.”

“Well, my plan was to live out of my car but…”

“My boss…yeah.” The server returned and handed the black book to Peridot. He wished both of them a good evening before hurrying to another table. Peridot signed the receipt and placed her card back into her purse. Lapis stood up, leaving her half-eaten dessert on the table. She decided that tiramisu wasn’t for her.  Peridot scooted out of her seat, her hand rummaging in her purse. She held Lapis a shiny card. Lapis flipped the laminated piece of paper in her hand. One side had a business name, address, phone number and fax in print; the other side had an address scribbled on the back in all too familiar handwriting.

“What’s this?”

 "You're pissed at Jasper, I get it. I work with the woman, and she can be…"

“A bitch?”

 "Difficult. But, I am guessing she means well if she is taking her time and resources, i.e. me, to keep tabs on you." Lapis puffed out her right cheek, tapping the card on the back on her hand. How could she explain this?

 "Listen. You might think she means well but, to me, it's sketchy," Lapis paused, screwing her lips. "Someone throwing money and attention at a homeless teen, normally, they want something in return. Sex, usually, or illegal shit or God knows what else. People can be seriously depraved. Teens get forced into that sex trafficking shit. It’s dangerous. And your boss raises several red flags, neon lights, what have you. Got it?”

“Yeah. I get it." Lapis handed Peridot the card back, but she shook her head.

“Keep it. I don’t care what the fuck you do with it as long as I can say I gave it to you. If, and this is obviously a big, fucking if, you find yourself desperate, the front is Jasper’s office. She is usually there during the weekdays, and her home address is on the back. As I said, do whatever you wish, but I gave it to you."

“Whatever.” Lapis slipped the card into her back pocket. Peridot gave her a weak smile, adjusting her purse on her shoulder.

“Take care of yourself, Lapis.”

“Yeah. You too.”

           


	6. Hurricane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is attempted rape in this chapter. Don't read if this is a trigger.

 The rain was hard and relentless. It poured down from the blanket of dark gray clouds above Beach City with force. The winds howled angrily and whipped at Lapis' hair as she stood below the eaves of some unknown building. It offered little protection from the hurricane weather that raged around her. With the imminent storm approaching, the shelter had filled up quickly. The volunteers even allowed extra people to take cover from the rain but they had hit their capacity. Lapis arrive too late to take cover, and now she was caught in the middle of the tempest. She was soaked to the bone. The only relief was that temperature remained warm, but that meant it would bring heavy humidity once the storm passed.

It had been a few weeks since she had lunch with Peridot. The stalking seemed to have come to an end. At least, Lapis had not noticed any suspicious people around her. It was a bit of relief that Jasper finally gave up. Lapis was not willing to find out Jasper's motivation for following her, giving her the money or having her car towed.  She was still pissed that she no longer had Bob to offer her any shelter. If she had her car now, she wouldn't be standing drenched in the alleyway. Lapis pushed a wet strand of hair away from her face. The rain had relaxed a little, and the wind has eased up. It was the perfect time to find better cover. It was probably the eye of the storm, and it would start up again soon.

Lapis peeled herself away from the wall, shaking herself. She knew she was going to be miserable in her soaked clothes for a while. The bag filled with her clothes had been stolen a few days ago.  The t-shirt, jeans, and undergarments she was currently wearing were the only things that she owned. She might be able to find a change at the shelter but, until then, she was stuck looking like drowned cat walking down the streets. There were a few people on the streets. Most of them had umbrellas and seemed to take the break in the storm to get where they needed to go. Lapis felt her stomach rumble with hunger. She reached into her pocket to see what cash she had to get a bite to eat. All that her pocket produced was lint and a laminated card.

 She squinted at the card, flipping it between her fingers. It was the card that Peridot had given her if she ever wanted to find Jasper. Lapis did not know why she had not thrown away the offense piece of plastic-covered paper. Whenever she would change her clothes, she always made sure to stuff the card into a pocket. She really could not explain why she was attached to it. Even if she remotely considered seeking out Jasper, it was a dangerous idea. She had no reason to seek her out, but she kept the card close by. Lapis scowled, shoving the card back into her pocket. No clothes. No money. No shelter. Two months left. This was becoming more and more difficult to keep up. She took out the card again, flipping it over.

 "Hey, sweetheart," a male voice crooned next to her. Lapis jerked with surprise. She had been so caught up in her misery, Lapis failed to notice to two men that had fallen into step with her. One had blond hair that was buzzed at the sides but long at the top. He wore a loose, wet, black shirt and dark jeans. His buddy had shaggy, dark brown hair that clung to his neck and forehead. He had a red plaid over shirt that was open to reveal a bare chest and the type of dark jeans; he was holding a folded umbrella. Both of them were much taller than her. Lapis instantly sensed the dangerousness of the two men. They exchanged wicked grins to each other. 

"Was a lovely, young girl doin' out in a storm like this," the dark haired man slurred, throwing his massive arm over her shoulder. Lapis tried to shrug him off, but his grip tightened against her skin. They were deliberately herding her away from the street and to a nearby alleyway. Her heart began thundering in her chest. They had something bad planned. She needed to get away. Lapis attempted to duck underneath dark hair’s arm. However, his blonde friend was quick and blocked her from escaping.

"Where do you think you going, sweetheart," he sneered. His hands shot out, and he pushed her back into his friend. They both laughed, evilly. An arm wrapped tightly around her waist, pinning her arms to her sides and dirty, wet hand covered her mouth. The blonde glanced around hastily and gave his friend the nod. Lapis looked up to see the dark-haired man nod in return.

He pulled her back into the alley with his friend close behind. Lapis screamed against his hand, struggling against his iron grip. She tried to kick the blonde as he moved closer to her. Her foot connected with his stomach, causing him to double over in pain. He muttered an angry curse, clutching his stomach. As soon as the blonde recovered, the dark-haired man let go of her for a moment to give him the opportunity to strike her face. Lapis fell onto the wet ground. The taste of blood filled her mouth, and she spat out red. She tried to get up but one of the men kicked her down, and her face met with the concrete.

“Might as well stay down, sweetheart. Make it easier on everyone.” Lapis grimaced, trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to spill. Her body screamed in pain; her mind told her to run. The men were circling her like sharks that had smelled blood. Her eyes caught the glint of a beer bottle within her reach. A plan began to form in her mind as the two men discussed who would go first. Stealthily, she grabbed the neck of the bottle and pulled it close to her. The blonde kneeled behind her, and she heard the ominous sound of a zipper. Lapis took a few deeps breath, clutching the bottle. She felt hands on her sides as he flipped her. She made sure to keep the bottle hidden.

“We are going to have fun, aren’t we?” He murmured, leaning in close. Without hesitation, Lapis smashed the bottle against his head. The bottom shattered into small pieces. The blonde screamed in pain, jerking back. “You bitch.”

Before he could recover, Lapis pulled herself up and thrust the broken bottle into the side of his face. Blood splattered on her, but she did not notice. Lapis kicked him, hard, in the stomach again. He fell back, his pants around his knees. She quickly got to her feet as the dark haired man rushed at her. Lapis swung with the bottle, thankfully making contact with his arm. Blood splattered against his skin and he recoiled with a hiss. Lapis took this chance to run out of the alley. Her body was electrified with fear and adrenaline. She didn’t even dare to look behind her to see if they were following her.

A large lump nestled in her throat as she sobbed and let the tears flow down her cheeks. The rain and wind hit her face like tiny needles. Her chest was burning from the unfamiliar exertion. She had no clue where she was going, but her subconscious and body seemed to be in agreement. Lapis quickly turned down Hastings and then turned right onto Jackson. When she finally reached her destination, she was out of breath, tired and shaking. Lapis hunched over with her hands on her knees as she struggled to catch her breath. Her hair was dirty with the filth from the alley; her shirt was spattered with blood. A few people who passed by eyed her with disgust and suspicion.

Lapis slowly straightened up, whipping the tears from her eyes. She felt a little better though her lungs and body still ached. She put her hands on her hips and looked up at the towering building in front of her. Well, look where I ended up, she thought. The apartments were painted white and about fourteen floors with rows of perfectly symmetrical windows. The pristine double doors were shielded by a metal awning. A smartly dressed man was standing by the doors; he would courteously open the door for residents and visitors going in and out. Lapis reached into her pocket and pulled out the card. This was the place. Suite 14B. She took a deep breath. Out of the corner of her eyes, Lapis saw the dark haired man come around the corner. Fuck. She hastily dashed toward the entrance. The bellman gave her a look and halted her before she could enter.

“Miss. I think you are in the wrong place,” he said.

“I’m in the right place. I’m meeting someone here,” Lapis replied, curtly. He looked at her skeptically.

“Who are you seeing?”

“Her name is Jasper. She lives in Suite 14B.” Lapis glanced over her shoulder. The dark haired man was watching her from the sidewalk. Please, please, let me in, she begged mentally, fidgeting nervously.

“I have to call the resident to confirm.” He took his walkie-talkie off his hip and mumbled something into the speaker.

“Fine. That’s fine. Tell her it’s Blue. She knows,” Lapis replied, a bit more urgently than she would have liked. The dark haired man was waiting patiently for her, his arms across his chest. She could see the marks along his forearm. Where is his friend? She did not really care what happened to him, but she wondered if he just left him there. The walkie-talkie broke out in static, and a warbled voice spoke. The bellman nodded and silently opening the door.

“Elevator to your right. Floor 14." he said, coolly. Lapis let out a huge sigh of relief and thanked him. She hurried into the apartment building. The front room was huge. Polished wood walls stretch high above her head. There was a counter with a beautiful redhead managing the desk. She gave Lapis an all too familiar look of revulsion and pretentiousness. A few patrons walked passed her with the same looks on their face. She ignored the stares and went over toward the silver elevators. Lapis pressed the illuminated up button and waiting anxiously for the doors to open. She couldn’t believe she was doing this. Jasper could be just as dangerous the dark-hair man outside.

The doors swung open with a soft ping. Lapis hesitated for a moment, but she shook away the apprehension curling up her spine. She pushed the button for floor fourteen. A couple was about to enter the elevator, but they took one glance at her and stepped out. Lapis sneered, angrily. Whatever. The doors closed with a gentle swoosh and the elevator jostled to life; classical music filtered through an invisible speaker. The time slowly ticked by until the elevator reached its destination and the doors opened to reveal a lavished hallway. The walls were a creamy off-white with different floral painting and trimmed with beige; the carpets were a rich brown color.

Lapis tentatively walked down the hall. She really did not belong here. And it was not just the posh and lavishness of the apartment. Lapis had no idea what was waiting for her or Jasper’s intentions. She could just be putting herself into another dangerous situation. The hall was unnaturally quiet except for the sound of her feet and the pounding of her heart.  She found 14B at the end and raised her hand to the white wooden door. Lapis speedily rapped on the door. The door flew open, and the white-haired woman stood in the frame wearing an orange robe and smug expression. The look quickly dissolved into concern and a hint of anger.

“What the fuck happened?”

"I—they—the men," Lapis stammered. Lapis could not find the words, but Jasper seemed to understand. She sighed, opening the door wider to allow Lapis to enter. Lapis took a deep breath. She had the urge to run, to race back down that hall and into the elevator but she ignored it and followed Jasper into the suite. 


	7. Acts of Violence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School is going to be kicking my butt the next few weeks. I will try to update as much as possible.

After she had arrived at Jasper’s door, everything moved so quickly that Lapis did not have a moment to assess the situation fully. Jasper demanded to know what happened. Lapis felt so numb and disconnected that it took her a moment before she could fully speak. All Lapis could muster was a hollow, monotone voice as she recalled the details. She warned Jasper that the dark haired man had followed her to the building and might still be waiting outside. Jasper moved quick, calling her security to make sure he was no longer nearby. Lapis just sat there, wringing her hands in her lap and trying hard not to burst into tears.

Once Jasper finished her call, she ordered Lapis into the shower. Lapis did not argue; she did not have the strength to argue. The shower was a welcoming relief as the hot water soothed her sore body. It washed away the grime and disgust that Lapis did not realize were clinging to her. The feeling returned to her limbs; her mind thawed from its icy stupor. Lapis shrunk down into the tub, hugging herself tightly and released everything—the fear, the anger, the humiliation--into rushing water. Why did this happen? What did she do to provoke it? Lapis searched into her memory for whatever could have triggered the men. It wasn’t until Jasper knocked on the bathroom door that Lapis forced herself out of the shower, trying desperately to become composed.

She dried herself off before noticing that her clothes were replaced with a large, pale blue nightshirt, a dark blue robe and a pair of striped white-and-blue underwear. She could not help but snort. Blue, of course. Once she had dressed in the clean nightclothes, Lapis looked into the foggy, round mirror hanging on the off-white wall. Her face obscured by the steam that had settled on the glass. She used the sleeve of the robe to wipe away the mist. Her pale skin was washed-out; dark bags drooped from her red-rimmed eyes; her features were subtly gaunt and hollow. Her face was red and tarnished with scratches; there was a dull pain against her cheek. Her roots had grown out to her eyes, revealing her natural dark hair. The blue had faded into a mint green color with hints of bleach blonde. She looked horrible. Lapis rubbed her face as if she could wipe away the awful the sickliness from her features. No luck.

Lapis walked out of the bathroom into the empty dressing room that was connected and into the guest room. Everything was clean, proper and untouched. The king size bed was fitted with a gold and red comforter; there were six pillows propped meticulously on the black headboard. There was a matching dresser, chest of drawers and even a couch. A TV hung from the wall in front of the bed. The rain had returned while she was in the bathroom. It beat door that lead out toward the terrace. She was right about the eye of the storm. The rain was hammering against the glass with an unrelenting fervor. Lapis took a deep breath, pulling the fleecy robe tighter against her body before leaving the bedroom.

The apartment was dark except for a dim light coming from the front room. On Lapis’ left, there was a dining room with a long table, and eight chairs pushed around it. To her right must have been an office. The double doors were closed, preventing anyone from looking in or entering. There were two rooms near the front of the apartment. The room that was dimly lit was on her right as she made her way down the hall. It looked like a living room with a dark brown sectional on one end, and another huge TV mounted to the wall across from it. The TV was turned off, and the lights above had been lowered. Lapis assumed that the room to across the hall from the living room was the kitchen.

Jasper was sitting at one end of the couch with a bottle of beer in her hand. She was still in her orange robe, and Lapis could see her bare legs and a flash of outer thigh through the slight. Lapis’ felt her face heat up, and she averted her eyes away from Jasper, looking outside another set of terrace doors. The massive storm was assailing the entire city. Over the rows and rows of buildings, Lapis could make out the tempestuous sea. It looked like an agitated beast trying to devour the shoreline and city with ravenous waves. There was something beautiful about the restless waters that Lapis could not explain.

“Have a seat,” Jasper instructed. Lapis sat on the opposite end of the section, pulling her robe over her legs. Even though Jasper had helped her, Lapis still did not trust the woman. Jasper did not say anything and took a long swing of her beer. She tilted the bottle toward Lapis. “Want one?”

“No,” Lapis replied, blandly, her leg shaking nervously. She did want one. Badly. Lapis did not want alcohol clouding her judgment or taking the risk it could be tampered with. Jasper leaned forward, the curve of her breasts peeking from the open V of her robe.

“Let’s address this elephant in the room, shall we? I have no evil intentions with you. Your fuckin' seventeen, for Christ's sake. If I wanted sex, I could get it from someone legal," Jasper flashed her unnaturally white teeth. Lapis narrowed her eyes, wrinkling her nose in a scowl.  "I don't plan on selling you to some sex trafficker or whatever horrible idea you have in mind."

“So Peridot did blab,” Lapis snickered.

“Nothing that I didn’t already find out.”

“See. Right there. That’s why I don’t fucking trust you. You give off this stalker vibe,” Lapis waved her hand at Jasper for emphasis. “Especially when you say shit. Plus, you got my car towed. I am still fucking pissed about it.”

“Well, I can’t really argue with that, now can I?” Jasper laughed, taking another drink from her bottle and shaking her head. Lapis rolled her eyes, resting her cheek against her fist. She did not like being laughed at, and she felt anger burn in her belly.

"How can you find that funny? If I had my car, I wouldn't have been nearly raped," she muttered, angrily. Saying the words stung in her ears. Lapis could feel her eyes ache with the threat of fresh tears. The mirth disappeared from Jasper's face, being replaced with a look of annoyance and uneasiness.

“That—that was not meant to happen, Lapis. Trust me. When I find those guys, they are fucking dead.”

“When? What do you mean by ‘when’?”

“They won’t get away with what they tried to do. That’s all you need to know.”

 "Seriously?" Lapis jerked in her seat, gripping the arm of the couch. "Acts of violence on my behalf now? That is some really fucked up shit, you realize that, right? I am just some homeless teen you saw at a gas station, and you gave me bagels and money and now going after some guys who—who—Why? I don't get it. And I want an answer. NOW!"

“Fine. Settle down. Sit down, okay?” Lapis did not realize she had leaped to her feet during her outburst. She sat down but remained on the edge of the seat, ready to run or fight or whatever she needed to do. Jasper sighed, rubbing her temples. She took another swig of her beer and turned the bottle in her large hands. She did not even bother to look at Lapis, seemingly trying to figure out her words.

“Well,” Lapis demanded.

“I know your mom. My mother and yours were very close friends.”

 "That is not funny," Lapis responded, coldly. Jasper sighed, rising to her feet. She left the living room, and Lapis could hear the click of a door. The apartment became silent except for the heavy patter of rain. Jasper returned, shoving a piece of paper into Lapis's hand and returning to her seat. She had two beers clenched in her fist, opening one with a twist of her hand. She crossed her legs and took a drink. Lapis looked down at the picture. Two young women were standing behind two young girls. She recognized Jasper by her unruly white mane. She looked about twelve with a sour expression. She wore a leather jacket and jeans. The younger girl next to her away about five with sleek, long, dark brown hair, freckles sprinkled over her nose and a huge grin. She was in a simple, blue dress. Lapis know who it was; it was her.

The woman behind them looked like older versions of the Jasper and Lapis. Jasper’s mother had long, unruly pale hair underneath a yellow cap. She had a thin face and wore an expression identical to her daughter’s. Behind young Lapis, the woman was softly smiling. She had the same sleek, dark hair and freckles spilling over her nose as her daughter. Her hands rested on her daughter’s shoulders. Lapis did not recognize the house that stood behind them. It was old, rundown with a yard littered with junk. There was a couch on the patio where two men were lounging; one had a beer bottle in his hand. Lapis looked up at Jasper then back at the picture, flipping it over. Beach City, 2004.

 "That was home. Well, for me. Your mom had her own place, but she was over a lot."

“I am lost.” She could not quite understand what this meant. Her mother...her mother who had abandoned her at a park to get high. Her mother who she hadn't seen in twelve years. This was the woman that did not fight for her daughter. This was the woman whose carelessness forced her into foster home after foster home. Lapis scowled, looking at the picture with misty eyes.

 "When I saw you at the gas station a few months ago, I thought you looked familiar. You look just like your mom. I wasn't sure, but I felt I should do something nice. Curiosity ended up getting the best of me, so I followed you. I figured you wouldn’t take any money straight from someone, so I left it with the bagels. Then, I did my research. Sure enough, I was right. You were little Lapis Lazuli, Di’s daughter. I owe your mom a lot. She was a sweet lady. Like a second mom to me. Especially with how crappy my mom could be. So, I figured I help out her daughter.”

“Hmph. At least, she could be a mom to someone,” Lapis muttered, a little more bitterly than she had wanted. Jasper pursed her plump lips together, nodding.

 "I guess that was fair enough. Our moms hung with the wrong crowd, but your mom did try to get away. She did not want that for you. Just—shit happened," Jasper shrugged, leaning back into the couch. Her robe was loose around her body, and she didn't try to feign any modesty. Lapis turned away, blushing again. Jasper looked like she was lost in her own thought, staring blankly out the window. “Shit just happened and, unfortunately, Di got the blame.”

“What about you? This is a big step up from this house.” Jasper laughed. She opened the other bottle and handed it over to Lapis. Lapis hesitated for a moment then took the beer.  She winced as a dull pain flashed through her head. Lapis ignored it and took a drink. The beer was cold and bitter, but it tasted amazing. Lapis gulped it down greedily, nearly finishing the beverage.

“I saw what that life was doing to my mom. I wouldn’t allow that to happen to me. I absolutely refused. So, I cleaned up my shit, went to school, graduated and made some good investments and, voila, here I am.”

“How inspiring, “Lapis snickered.

“You fucking know it. Look, you went through a lot of shit today. I didn’t want to unload this on you tonight. You need to get some sleep.”

“On the couch?” Lapis was feeling a light buzz from the alcohol hit her brain. The mention of sleep reminded her how tired and sore she felt.

“No, you get the spare room.”

“Thanks but you know I still haven’t forgiven you for having my car towed.”

“It got you here, didn’t it? Not under the circumstances I wanted but…” Jasper shrugged her large shoulders. “I didn’t expect forgiveness. Good night, Blue.”

 "Yeah. Night." Lapis set the empty bottle on the floor and made her way back to the guest bedroom. Bed had never looked more inviting to her, and this bed was glorious. Lapis removed the robe and curled underneath the satiny sheets and soft comforter. The pillows were malleable, her head sinking into the fluffy plush. She felt like was wrapped in a cocoon. Everything responded and formed to her aching body. Despite feeling exhausted and the comfort of the bed, Lapis could not sleep as everything replayed in her mind. The men, Jasper, her mother…Her mind was a whirlwind of emotions. She felt like she was drowning in the raging ocean outside of the building. Lapis stared into the darkness around her, listening to the rain and trying to numb her mind. Damnit. Tears were suddenly streaming down her cheeks; she felt so overwhelmed. Fuck. This was all too much. Fuck. Lapis sobbed silently in the room, desperately wiping away the tears from her eyes. Why? Why was this happening now? What was she going to do now?


	8. Two weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, all! I am sorry for the delay in updates. A lot of medical shit came up and I got behind in school. I might redo this chapter later on.

Despite the luxurious comfort of the bed she was sleeping in, Lapis could not fall asleep. It wasn’t the boisterous storm outside that kept her awake; it was the unease in her mind. Her thoughts raced with everything that had happened and what she had learned in just a short span of time. Whenever she did slip into a restless slumber, her dreams consumed with memories. In one, she was five again. She was alone, standing in a park after the sun had set, crying for her mommy. She was lost and cold and hungry. All the young Lapis wanted was her mother, but she could not be found. Usually, when she cried, her mother would come running for her. Not this time. This time, there was nothing but the creak of the swings in the wind and the distance murmur of children as they went home with their mothers.

 Lapis woke up in tears at the painful memory. The feelings of abandonment lingered around her as she sniffled silently. It had been years since she had thought of her mother. She had pressed down and locked away those emotions years ago. It was simply easier to think of her mother as a shadow of the past than an actual being in her present. But now, Pandora's Box had been unlocked, and those repressed feelings were seeping back to the surface. Damn, Jasper, for opening up that box, Lapis thought. Though, really, she could not blame Jasper for unleashing those memories. It wasn't intentional. Or, at least, Lapis did not believe it was.

When Lapis was finally able to calm herself down, she tried to fall back asleep. It was not the crying little girl that plagued her dreams this time. Lapis was being pinned down by an invisible force as the rain beat down on her. She heard a low, sadistic chuckle and the sound of a zipper. Lapis could not move; she was paralyzed as she felt hands wonder up her sides. She wanted to scream, but her throat was thick and dry. Suddenly, there was a splash of blood and the force holding her down dissolved away from her limbs. Frantically, Lapis scrambled to her feet and attempted to flee. A cruel hand grasped her ankle and forcibly yanked her back down to the ground. However, the ground was no longer solid. It had turned into cold, dark water and whatever had Lapis was pulling her down beneath the rocky waves. Lapis woke up gasping, drenched in sweat and her heart racing.

Sunlight filtered through the windows, signaling the beginning of a new day. Lapis squinted her eyes against the harsh light, scowling. She felt like shit. Her eyes ached; her head was throbbing; her body was sore. Lapis wanted to go back to sleep, but the urge to use the bathroom was too great. Angrily, Lapis kicked off the comforter and sheets and stomped into the bathroom. She caught a glimpse of herself in the dark mirror. Her hair was a mess, and she looked rougher than she did last night. Her cheek was discolored with shades of red and purple. There was the faint scratches along her face; her bottom lip was slightly swollen and marred with a cut. Lapis scrunched her face in disgust at her reflection and winced as pain shot through her. After relieving herself, Lapis knew trying to go back to sleep was futile. She was awake even if she still felt exhausted.

Lapis peeked her head outside the door, looking around the empty hall. She could hear the sound of the TV playing from the living room.  The whole apartment smelt like coffee and bacon. Her stomach rumbled with urgency. She needed to locate the source of the delicious scent. Hesitantly, Lapis left the room and made her way to the kitchen. Jasper was leaning against the dark marble counter, looking down at her phone. Her thick hair was pulled back in a messy yet classy bun. She was wearing a sleeveless, silky red blouse that showed off the fine muscles in her arms and the blotchy stripes against her skin; she had a pencil thin black skirt, black tights, and fancy black heels. A gold necklace with a pink diamond hung from her neck and nestled into the valley of her breasts. Jasper radiated ladylike intimidation.

“You look like shit,” Jasper said after glancing up at Lapis. "Are you okay?"

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“I’m not surprised. Are you hungry?”

“Oh God, yes.”

“Well, I have some coffee brewing, and there is some bacon, eggs, and fruit for you." Jasper motioned to the premade plate sitting on the counter. Lapis faced brightened at the sight of food, and she eagerly grabbed the plate.  She was too hungry to be cautious. Lapis did not even bother to find a place to sit as she scooped the food into her mouth ignoring the pain chewing caused. It tasted heavenly. The bacon was crispy; the scrambled eggs were fluffy; the strawberries were juicy and fresh.

“This is amazing,” she complimented.

“Thanks, “Jasper replied. She poured some hot coffee into two mugs and handed one to Lapis; offering her cream and sugar. Lapis turned them down and enjoyed the bitter taste of black coffee.

‘You know,” she began, making idle chat, setting down the mug on the counter and took a few more bites. “I expected you to have a cook or something.”

“Shit, I don’t have that kind of money, Blue. And, why to waste the money on something I can do myself?”

“I guess that makes sense. What _do_ you do for a living?”

“Investments.”

“What kind of investments?”

“The money making kind,” Jasper replied, vaguely. 

“Sounds illegal,” Lapis said but immediately regretted it. She really should not be making assumptions about Jasper’s life. Especially if it is something that could potentially dangerous. Jasper smiled, flashing her teeth and crossing her arms over her chest.

“Now why would you think it would be something illegal?” Lapis could not tell if Jasper was serious or not. Her tone suggested humor, but her posture came across as if she was challenging her. Lapis pressed her lips together, shrugging and pushing around the little bit of food left on her plate.

“Nothing particular. You give off this mafia vibe.” Jasper chuckled, shaking her head.

"I am not involved in the mob."

“Good to know.” Lapis did not press any further and Jasper did not offer more of an explanation. She was more than willing to drop the subject. The less she knew about Jasper, the better. Especially if she was involved in anything that was illegal. Without another word, Lapis went to the sink and rinsed off her plate.

“You can just leave your plate in the sink,” Jasper said. Lapis nodded in response and set it down. It was probably best that she left today. Lapis did not want to overstay her welcome and despite Jasper’s generosity, Lapis still did not entirely trust her.  There was something about Jasper that Lapis could not put her finger on. And Jasper’s connection to her mother was far more painful that she wanted to admit. It made things even more complicated. However, she was not quite ready to go back onto the streets. Lapis would be looking behind her back for the next two months. What would she do next time? Would she be as lucky? Lapis hated to admit she was terrified to go back; she hated that she was afraid.

“Um, thanks for everything,” Lapis said, leaning against the edge of the sink.

“Don’t mention it.”

“Well, I’ll get out of your hair. I just need my clothes.”

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that,” Jasper began, her face was grave and contemplative. Lapis felt her stomach did a little flip and heart thundered in her chest.  

“What did you do to my clothes?”

“Nothing. Jesus Christ, Lapis. I thought we established I mean you no harm or anything." Lapis did not say anything and only nodded. She did not mean to sound so panicked. Honestly, Lapis could not think of anything Jasper could have done to her clothes that would have been that horrible; unless she refused to give them back. Even then, Jasper did not seem to be addressing her clothes. Lapis felt stupid. Jasper sighed and pushed a stray strand of hair away from her face. It took her a moment before she spoke.

“I owe it to your mom. She was a good person. She was good to me. And it’s not fucking fair she ended up where she did. It wasn’t fair to you either. And after what happened last night...I want to offer you a place to stay. You can have my guest room and stay as long as you like. You won’t have to beg for money. You will have food and a roof over your head. I’ll get you some new clothes…”

“No thanks,” Lapis interrupted briskly even though a part of her wanted to accept. A comfortable bed, regular meals and being off the streets sounded fantastic, but she felt like she would owe Jasper later on. She was still very suspicious of her motivations. It was hard for her to believe this was some favor to her mother. Her mother had abandoned her. She was not some good person who deserved to have something nice done for her. Even if it did benefit Lapis.  Jasper was taken back and scoffed as if she did not expect Lapis to refuse.

“Look,” Jasper said, gritting her teeth. “I really want to do this. You won’t owe me anything. This is something I owe your mother. Even if it's just for two weeks. Give yourself time to recover from what happened. Stay off the streets; be safe: After two weeks, I’ll get your car back. I will give you some new clothes and a little extra cash. I owe you that.”

“Wow. You must have really done something fucked up." Something dark flashed across Jasper's features that made Lapis regret commenting. She seemed to be doing that a lot this morning. Lapis stared at Jasper, crossing her arms over her chest. Two weeks. Two weeks in a lavish apartment with access to food and a hot shower. After two weeks, she would get her car back with interest. Yet, something about Jasper's determination, that was almost bordering on desperation, unnerved Lapis. Several questions ran through her mind. Had Jasper really done something so terrible to warrant the type of redemption? What sort of business was she in that granted her this kind of luxury? Could she really spend the next three months sleeping at the shelter? What about the nights when the shelter filled up? Could she be put in the same situation again? What if she ran into those men? Suddenly, a thought occurred to Lapis.

“So, if I still say no, you would let me go back to the streets? No car, no clothes, nothing,” she asked, suspicious but woeful. If Jasper was that sincere, maybe Lapis could manipulate the situation in her favor. 

“Of course not.” Lapis felt a surge of triumph and relief but kept her face stoic and pensive.

“I’d alert the proper authorities, and you would be returned to your foster family,” Jasper answered quickly. Lapis’ mask fell, and her mouth dropped in disbelief. Fuck! Jasper had her. How did she know she would say that? How in the hell was she a step ahead of her? No. There was no fucking way that she would go back to her foster family. She felt like a prisoner in that hellhole of a home. Jasper smirked slyly. And Jasper knew this, Lapis realized. Lapis' lips twisted into an angry pout. Jasper had planned this and she had walked right into it. She was damned if she did and damned if she didn't, wasn't she? Slumping her shoulders in defeat, Lapis begrudgingly agreed to stay with Jasper. It was just two weeks, right? It would be over before she knew it. Right?


	9. I'm Fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did some revision of the previous chapter.

She was alone. Jasper had left for work over an hour ago. Before she had stepped out the door, she made sure that Lapis would be okay. It surprised her about the amount of concern that Jasper was expressing. Just minutes ago she had manipulated and blackmailed her into staying. Lapis assured Jasper that she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Jasper was not convinced and pressed the issue. She could get someone to stay with her, Jasper suggested. Or Lapis was welcome to come with her to work. Lapis declined, rather annoyed.  She knew why Jasper was worried, but she did not want to think about it. Now, she was alone in a large, quiet apartment and trying to keep her mind from wondering back to yesterday.

Lapis did not know what to do. She was accustomed to wondering around the streets, trying to earn enough money for food or essentials. It made her feel strange to not have a purpose and be able to relax. That was  _if_ she could even relax! The lack of motivation was causing her to be restless. She tried to sit and watch television. Actually, watch television! Yet, after a few minutes, she was on her feet until she gave up on sitting still. Lapis explored every inch of the apartment except for Jasper’s office and bedroom. The temptation was strong to jimmy the lock on the office and sneak a peek inside but, ultimately, she suppressed the urge. Lapis came across the picture that Jasper had shown her last night on one of the countertops. Her chest and throat tightened at the sight of her happy mother; tears burned in her eyes. No. Nope. She ended up pushing the photograph underneath the office door.

Several times Lapis opened the cabinets or refrigerator, looked at the vast selection of food, closed the door and came back a few minutes later. She repeated this five or six times within a couple of hours. She could not decide if she was hungry or bored. Her breakfast seemed to fill her up for the day though her stomach protested. Finally, Lapis decided it was best to attempt a nap. The more she focused on occupying herself, the more she felt sore, tired and drained. Her tender cheek was sending shocks of pain through her head until it formed into a migraine. Lapis took a couple aspirins she had found in the medicine cabinet of the guest room and crawled back into the bed. Her eyes ached and burned; her head pounded; her body hurt. Lapis moaned in misery, slowly turning to get comfortable.

 A faint, sickening sound of a zipper jerked Lapis from her light sleep. She clutched at her shirt and feeling the rapid beat of her heart against her chest. The quickened pace of her pulse throbbed against her limbs and rushed in her ears; she frantically gasped as if she ran a mile.  Lapis was burning; her body covered in a fine sheen of sweat. She looked around the room, trying to trace the source of the sound but there was no one. She was alone. Lapis sought to breathe normally, swallowing hard. It was an echo of her memory. Just an echo. She was safe; she was alone. Why did she feel like she was lying to herself?

Shower. She needed a shower. It would clean away the sweat and fear and the feeling of revulsion. Plus, Lapis needed something to do; something to keep her busy. Hastily, she jumped out of bed, stripped off her night clothes, which she had never bothered to change, and stepped into the shower. The chilly water rushed over her sticky body, cooling her hot skin before she switched to hot water. She made it hotter than usual; enough to feel mild discomfort but not enough to scald herself. The contrast felt great; she focused on cleaning herself. Every inch. Twice. Washing and scrubbing until she felt better. It kept her occupied; it kept her busy. Lapis slipped back into bed after drying off and pulled one of the pillows close to her, squeezing it tightly. She suddenly wanted her mother.

 “Hey, wake up.” Lapis groaned at the sound of the vaguely familiar voice, curling closer to the pillow. _Go away_. A warm hand touched her shoulder and Lapis shot up quickly, frantically looking around. Peridot was standing by her bed with her hands crossed over her chest and her face screwed in irritation. Lapis quickly pulled the covers over her bare chest. She had not seen the blonde since they had lunch. She was dressed casually this time but still managed to look very put together. She wore a loose-fitting, white sleeveless blouse, black capris, and ballet flats. Her blonde hair tussled in a careful fashion and, she wore a little bit of make-up. Lapis squinted at her.

“What the hell? What are you doing here?

“Jasper is working late and told me to check up on you,” she responded in a clipped, annoyed tone.  “I am not a fucking babysit—oh my God! What happened to your face?!”

“Nothing,” Lapis muttered, turning her face away, embarrassed. “It’s nothing. I am fine.”

“Like hell! What happened? Did…did…” Peridot looked around anxiously, licking her lips, before leaning close to Lapis. “Jasper did not do that, did she?”

“Huh? No! No. She didn’t. I ran into some trouble last night. Jasper is actually helping me.”

“Oh, okay. Well, I guess, it's good you took her up on her offer. But, seriously, are you all right?"

“Yeah. Peachy. Perfect,” Lapis grumbled, rubbing her eyes with the palm of her hand. “What time is it?”

“A little after four.” Lapis nodded. She had at least gotten a few hours of sleep though she still felt like shit. Her stomach was growling with hunger. 

“I’m fine. You can go.”

“I wish. Get up, get dressed. I also gotta take you to get some new clothes.”

“Wait--what? Are you fucking serious?” Lapis looked at her in disbelief.

“Serious. That’s what I was _instructed_ to do,” Peridot’ voice was laced with venom and disdain.

“Bitter much?”

“You have no fucking idea. I am…”

“Not a babysitter, yeah. I got that,” Lapis finished Peridot’s sentence, huffing and rolling her eyes. “Why don’t you just quit if you are so miserable?”

“The same reason anyone would need a job—money. Also, Jasper is one of the CEOs of a very prestigious, reputable wealth management company. Having that on my resume is like working for God or something.”

“Reputable? Huh. I thought she was involved in something illegal.”

“Illegal?! No fucking way. This company is _renowned_ , and I am super lucky to have this job. People would kill to work at PD Investments.”

“You sound like that one girl from that one movie except she worked in fashion,” Lapis snickered at the comparison.

“What?”

“Nothing. What is wealth management anyway?”

 “Simply? We advise people or companies about financial planning and investments.”

 "Oh." Lapis really did not understand what she meant by advising, but she really did not bother to press for clarity. It would seem that Jasper was just giving her the dumbed down version of what she did. Satisfied with her response, she was about to throw off the covers when she realized that she was naked. “Um…can you leave for a moment?”

 “Why?”

 “I am bare ass naked.” Peridot flushed in response and left without another word, shutting the door. Lapis sighed deeply and tossed the covers to the side. She went to the dresser, taking a chance to find her clothes. They were neatly folded in the empty drawer. Well, at least Jasper was not trying to keep her clothes from her. Lapis dressed quickly and tried to make herself look more presentable. Unfortunately, Lapis did not own any makeup that she could hide the bruise on her face. There was a brush in the bathroom, and she was able to smooth down her wild, tangled hair. She needed to dye it sometime soon. Lapis stared at her reflection but just for a brief moment. She cringed at the sight of her battered face.

“I am ready.” Peridot was leaning against the wall by the living room, texting on her cell phone when Lapis entered the foyer. Peridot looked her up and down for a moment. Lapis knew she was evaluating, judging her. It was a glance that she was all too familiar with but, Peridot did not say anything, and her face was actually hard to read. She put her cell phone into her purse and pulled out her keys. The two silently made their way out of the apartment and down to the streets. Lapis pushed back the anxiety that crept up her spine. She was with Peridot. The streets were crowded. She would be okay.

“Where to,” Peridot asked as they slid into her car. It was a newer model with dark leather seats and a lot more room than it looked from the outside. The dashboard was more high tech than Lapis could ever imagine for a car. She wanted to press buttons but fought the childish impulse.

 "Uh. Goodwill should be okay," she replied, moving the vent of the air conditioning so the air was blowing against her face. 

 "Goodwill? No. Certainly not!"

“What? Is there a problem with shopping second hand?” Lapis raised an eyebrow, challenging Peridot. Peridot tossed her a wild, panicked glance as she pulled out of the parking lot.

“Yes. No. I mean, fuck! It’s just…why Goodwill? Don’t you want new clothes? Jasper even gave me her card to get you _new_ clothes.”

“They would be new to me. Wait--she actually gave you her credit card?!”

 "Well, if I decided to go on a spree, you can imagine it would come out of my paycheck, _and_ I’d be arrested. And I am not that stupid. This is just for clothes and, possibly, dinner.”

“I vote for dinner first!" A smile curled across Peridot's lips, and she chuckled. Lapis could not help but smile as well even though it hurt. "And, to answer your question, I am only staying with Jasper for two weeks. I'll take the clothes, but they can't be anything designer or expensive. It's not as convincing when you have to beg for money. Plus, I don't want to be jumped…" _Again._

“What do you mean by convincing?”

“I can't appear to be struggling when I look like I stepped out of fashion catalog. It’s not believable. But, I can’t look completely messy that I am not approachable.”

“Hm. I did not know that. I guess that makes sense. What else?”

"Location. The location is BIG. High traffic areas are best. Depending on the area and your story, you can’t stay there for too long.”

“You seem to know your stuff,” Peridot commented, flatly.

“I’ve had nearly a year of practice.”

“Out of curiosity, why don’t you just stay with Jasper instead of going back to the streets? Especially after the trouble.” Several reasons ran through her mind. _I don’t trust her._ _She brings back bad memories. I expect I will need to pay her back. I don't want to be in debt. I don't like being manipulated. I hate mooching off her. I am already bored._

“It’s—complicated,” was all Lapis said and Peridot just nodded. That seem to end the conversation. Peridot and Lapis finally compromised on going to the local mall after dinner. Lapis was not too thrilled about it, but Peridot refused to take her to Goodwill or anything similar. She just had to deal with it for two weeks then she would be away from Jasper. And back on the streets, she reminded herself. The thought made Lapis shudder.

           

 


	10. Vodka Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a 'long' chapter and a lot of dialogue.

“How about this?” Peridot pulled out a long blue skirt with a darker blue triangle at the waist. It was paired with a short halter with the same triangle design on the chest. “It would match your blue hair and pale skin.”

“Uh…no,” Lapis crinkled her nose. “I don’t do dresses.”

“Technically, this is a skirt and top.”

“Okay. I don’t do dresses or _skirts_. I stick with pants or shorts.”

 "But…you would look nice in this dress," Peridot protested, but Lapis shook her head. 

“ _It’s not a dress. It’s a skirt,”_ she replied in a mocking, high-pitched tone. Peridot rolled her eyes but returned the garment back to the rack. “Besides, they restrict movement. Never know when you need to run from the cops.”

 "What?!" Peridot cried. She slapped her hand over her mouth and looked around. A few heads glanced in their direction, but they quickly went back shopping. Lapis snorted, biting her bottom lip to avoid laughing.

“I am kidding. Well, sort of. They are restricting." They had been shopping for a couple of hours; moving from one store to the next. Lapis was not used to having money to spend on clothes. She did not intend on using a lot, but it was strange to know it was there. Lapis paid careful attention to the prices of each item she purchased while Peridot repeatedly reminded her not to worry. This, of course, was on Jasper's orders. This did not deter Lapis from sneaking glances at the tags and tallying the amounts in her head. She felt better spending the least amount of Jasper's money as possible. Peridot wasn't bad company either, and Lapis found herself enjoying the time with her. She especially liked irritating the blonde. It did not take much to get her riled up.

“You know. I just don’t get it,” Peridot said as they were walking back to her car. The sun had set, and the sky was cast in velvety black and sprinkled with small diamonds. There weren’t many cars in the lot, linger shoppers and the mall workers. Lapis nervously glanced around for anyone else, gripping tightly on the plastic handle of her bag. She had three new pairs of jeans, three shirts, a pair of shorts, a package of socks and undergarments and a dark blue duster that she insisted on wearing out of the mall. The soft, ribbed fabric fluttered at her feet as she walked. It was not a necessity, but Lapis loved it. It ended up being a sensible purchase because the temperature had dipped, leaving the air chilly. Fall was coming.

“Get what?”

 "Well, you beg for money on the streets, right? Those are essentially handouts, and you have no problem using that money. But, now, someone genuinely gives you money, but you are hesitant to spend it. I don't get it." Lapis sighed. Peridot seemed to have trouble grasping the concept of homelessness and panhandling. She had bombarded Lapis with questions for the entire shopping trip, usually repeating the same ones over and over again. From what Lapis gathered, Peridot grew up in rather sheltered, affluent family. This was a new concept to her. Lapis found it amusing at first but now it was getting old.

“It’s different. I won't see those people again, and they don't expect something back."

“So, Jasper is expecting something back?”

“I don’t know. She says no,” Lapis replied, pulling the seatbelt over her chest and clicking it into place as Peridot backed out.

“So, either way, you are taking money from someone.”

“I guess. Why does it matter?”

“I am just trying to comprehend your logic, that’s all. What’s to say someone who gave you money one day doesn’t come back the next and demand something from you?”

“It doesn’t usually happen. You keep moving to avoid familiarity.”

“But, hypothetically, that occurred. What would be the difference?” Lapis closed her eyes, dropping her head back against the rest. Peridot made a point yet seemed to miss hers at the same time. "For that matter, if Jasper is actually sincere and doesn't want anything in return, would it be any different?"

“Because I am not little orphan Annie, okay?” Lapis snapped. Peridot’s head shot over to her in surprise. Lapis pursed her lips together, drawing them into a thin white line as she stared at the city scenery speeding by, gripping onto the handle above the window. There was no malice in Peridot's curiosity. No ill intent or scathing judgment in her tone; it was matter-of-fact but kindly. She was trying to understand. She kept glancing between the road and Lapis as she drove, looking remorseful but interested. Lapis took a deep breath and continued in a lower, shaky voice, “I don't feel in control, and I just don't know about Jasper. I can't fucking explain it. It's just different. Can we just drop it?"

 "Yeah. I'm sorry," Peridot said. Lapis pinched the bridge of her nose; she had a headache. The two girls drove in silence with only the sound of the tires against the road until they reached the apartment. They did not say a word together as the doorman greeted them or as they made their way up to the fourteenth floor. It was evident that Jasper was not home; the entire apartment was dark and silent. Peridot set the bags on the couch with her keys in one hand and ran her fingers through her hair with the other.

“Hey. I’m sorry if I upset you. I didn’t mean to. Again, foot mouth.” Lapis snorted, smiling weakly. She felt tired.

 "I'm all right."

“Are you sure?”

 "I won't say anything to Jasper." Peridot's green eyes widened in a look of horror.

“Oh, no! That isn’t what I meant! I just…I want to make sure you are okay before I go.”

“Go?”

“Yeah. I do have a life surprisingly enough! And a job.” Lapis looked uncertainly around the dimly lit apartment, shifting uncomfortably. Tightness gripped her chest and squeezed at her stomach. That would mean she would be alone. And she had no clue when Jasper was going to be back.

“Uh--can you stay for a little longer?” Peridot huffed, taking her phone from her purse. The glow from the screencast strange shadows across her cheeks and glasses.

“I can stay for twenty minutes, ‘kay?”

“Okay.” 

* * *

 Lapis was flipping mindlessly through the television channels when Jasper returned. Peridot had left an hour ago, and she was desperately trying to keep her mind occupied while filling the silence with the noise of the television. Without saying a word to Lapis, Jasper stormed into the kitchen. There was the faint sound of a bottle being opened. After a moment, there was another clatter. Lapis sat on the couch, glancing at the time on the Blu-ray player; it was a little after ten. Lapis heard a third bottle being opened and Jasper finally came into the living room, the beer tightly clutched in her hand. She collapsed on the couch, throwing her head back against the back cushion. Lapis looked at her with quiet interest.

“Did you have a beer,” she asked without looking at Lapis. Lapis glanced over at the empty bottle resting on the floor next to the couch.

“Just one. Was that a no-no? Peridot already got on me for drinking underage.” Jasper snorted.

“It’s fine. What time did Peri leave?” Peri? That was pretty informal.

“Uh…eight, I think? Maybe closer to nine. We got back about seven, and she hung out for a few." Lapis did not mention that she had practically asked Peridot to stay with her. Each time she made an attempt to leave, Lapis coerced her into staying longer. Finally, Peridot had to put her foot down.

“Hmm. Why did she stay so late? She doesn’t get paid for those extra hours.” _Paid?_ Lapis scowled, feeling like a rock had dropped in her stomach. That’s right. Peridot was being paid to keep her company. Lapis had forgotten that. Peridot took her out and stayed with her because it was her job. And she probably was expecting to get paid for those hours too. If she wasn't, she was awfully considerate of her; staying with a scared teenager afraid of being alone. Suddenly, Lapis felt foolish. Peridot ended up being her babysitter, didn’t she?

“I asked her to stay,” Lapis confessed, looking at Jasper through the corner of her eye. Jasper did not say anything but took a drink of her beer and rubbed the bridge of her nose. She muttered something underneath her breath; it sounded like one long explicative. Lapis sucked in her bottom lip. Well, fuck. She forgot! She genuinely enjoyed Peridot’s company, despite her big mouth, and it didn’t dawn on her that Peridot was (or was not) being paid for that time.

“Did she at least get your clothes,” Jasper finally asked, sounding exasperated and tired. Lapis was relieved that Jasper did not bother to ask her why she had asked Peridot to stay. She wanted to avoid getting into a discussion about not wanting to be alone. It seemed pretty childish when Lapis thought about it. She did not need a babysitter!

“Yeah. Few pairs of pants, few shirts, some socks and underwear. I got an awesome duster.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah. I don’t need much. The less I need to carry, the better.” Jasper gave a long sigh and finished off her beer. She got back up and went back into the kitchen.

“Do you want one?”

“Sure,” Lapis answered. Jasper returned with two opened bottles and handed one to Lapis. That’s her fourth in 15 minutes, Lapis noted. She put the mouth of the bottle to her lips. She must have had a terrible day. Lapis and Jasper silently drank their beverages as they watched some reality show. It was not long before the alcohol to take effect because Jasper's tense posture began to dissolve into a languid slouch. Her large body slid into the couch, relaxed and comfortable. She was chuckling to herself, twirling her empty bottle on the armrest. Lapis peeked through the corner of her eye as Jasper suddenly threw off her heels.

“I hate wearing this shit. Fucking pantyhose,” she slurred, struggling to remove her pantyhose. She nearly toppled off the couch trying to tug off the garment. Lapis snorted, biting her lip to avoid laughing.

“You’re drunk,” she accused Jasper.

“No. I’m not. You haven’t seen me drunk.”

 "Whatever." She rolled her eyes. "I guess it was a bad day?”

“Good day, stupid people. Stupid, fucking people.” Jasper got up and staggered toward the kitchen. Lapis shook her head, turned off the television and followed Jasper. She found her rummaging through the refrigerator, muttering underneath her breath. There was a half-empty bottle of vodka on the counter with a shot glass next to it. Lapis scrunched her nose at the strong smell.

“How many of those did you have,” Lapis asked, picking up the bottle. Jasper jumped, hitting the door the refrigerator. Her amber eyes were full and glazed as they fell on Lapis.

“Just three, Di. I swear.” Di? Her mom?

“Lapis.”

“Lapis,” Jasper echoed, shaking her head. “Sorry. You look like your mom.”

“You’re drunk,” Lapis reiterated, crossing her arms over her chest. Jasper’s fingers rapped against the refrigerator door in a sporadic cadence.

“Possibly.”

“Definitly.”

“Do you disapprove, Blue?”

 "Why would I—whatever. I'm going to bed. Night." She turned on her heels. Something about a drunk Jasper really unnerved her. Jasper was so collected when she was sober, but she seemed to be a mess when she was drunk. Lapis did not feel she had the right to judge. Everyone needed something to unwind, and she had done some stupid stuff when she was drunk. Jasper did not seem like the type to let herself go that far. But, she did not know Jasper well enough to decide that. Whatever the case, Lapis did not want to watch her blunder around in this state. A strong hand landed on her shoulder, preventing her from leaving.

“Are you okay,” Jasper asked, her voice was surprisingly composed. Lapis shrugged off the hand.

“I’m fine.”

“You say that but are you really fine?”

“I said I am fine, so I am fine,” Lapis gritted her teeth and clenched her hands.

“If you are not, tell me. If not me, someone. It’s not good to keep it bottled up. It will fuck you up.”

“You are _so_ insightful when your drunk.”

“I only speak from experience.”

“Experience?”

 "I've been in your position," Jasper acknowledged. Lapis's eyes snapped open, and she quickly turned. Jasper's face was passive and distant. She looked disoriented.

“You have?” Lapis asked, meekly.

“Yeah. Years and years and years ago. I was 14, maybe 15. Did not tell anyone. Messed me up. Don’t want it to mess you up.” Her words were heavily slurred; she was slightly hiccupping. Lapis wanted press her further for an explanation but she was too far gone. Jasper patted Lapis on the shoulder and gently pushed passed her. Lapis watched as she staggered into the living room and collapsed on the couch. That was a heavy secret to share with someone you barely knew. It actually shocked her. Though the alcohol might have had a hand in the confession. It was hard to believe someone like Jasper would be assaulted but it was not impossible. Maybe that was the root of Jasper’s promise of violence against those men. It would make sense. Lapis exhaled slowly, seeing Jasper in a slightly different light. She glanced over at the large woman sprawled on the couch, heavily snoring.

"Night, Jasper."

 


	11. You're Not Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mentions of sexual assault.

A loud crash startled Lapis awake. It was another rough night crammed with nightmares. She had just fallen into a sound sleep about an hour ago. Grumbling, she flung off her blanket to investigate. It was probably Jasper. She was either going to be horribly hungover or still completely drunk. And late for work too. She noticed the time glaring on the alarm clock. There was another clatter coming from the kitchen and an unfamiliar voice cursing. Her chest tightened. That wasn’t Jasper. She was still sprawled on the couch, snoring. Lapis cautious peered into the kitchen. There was a long-legged, slim woman picking up a few cups from the floor. She was pale with short rose-gold hair that was almost pink and curled around a beautiful round face. She wore a pastel pink blazer over a sky blue pencil dress and narrow, pink high heels. Lapis could not imagine balancing on heels like that, but this woman did it was such an amazing grace.

“Ah-hum,” Lapis cleared her throat to alert the woman of her presence. She turned; her baby blue eyes widened for a moment. She looked Lapis up and down, holding onto a cup with the other on her jutted hip.

“You must be Lapis,” she said. Her voice was cold, proper and arrogant.

 "Yeah. Who are you?" She said that with a bit more hostility than she had planned. The woman's lips curved tightly, and she extended a slender, beautifully manicured hand to Lapis. 

“My name is Pearl. Jasper never showed up today. I came to make sure she was still alive.”

“Oh, you work with her.” Lapis took Pearl’s hand. It was short and firm touch before Pearl retracted her hand. She smirked, sharply.

“Something like that.”

“What the fuck is going on?” Jasper grumbled, stepping behind Lapis. She did not seem surprised by Pearl standing in her kitchen. Her hair was wilder than usual; her blouse was unbuttoned to reveal a lacy black bra; her eyes were bloodshot and heavy.

“You look like shit,” Lapis commented, which earned her a good-humored punch. Pearl was not amused; her arms folding in front of her. She impatiently tapped her foot.

“Really, Jasper. Hungover?” Jasper winced, pressing her hand against her head. She brushed passed Lapis and pulled out a white bottle from one of the cabinets.

“Geez, Pearl. Let me get some aspirin before you start bitching.”

“Heh. Why would I give you that luxury after you left me high and dry at— “Jasper cleared her throat, her eyes shifting over to Lapis leaning in the doorway. The expression on Pearl's face soured more if that was possible; her pink lips pressed thin, her nostrils flaring and her eyes narrowed. However, she did not continue. If looks could kill, Lapis thought. She snorted and pushed away from the frame, her spine straightened and her shoulders pulled back.

“Well, I’ll be in my room,” she said quickly. As amusing as it was to see waif-like Pearl glare death at Jasper, she was acutely aware her presence was an excuse to avoid conflict. Like a parent trying to avoid fighting in front the kids.

“Don’t you want breakfast,” Jasper muttered, casually and poured herself a glass of water. Pearl’s eyes singed, her body rigid and her hands tight on her arms. Jasper just shrugged, looking over at Lapis. Lapis shook her head, fighting back the mirth twitching at her lips.

“Yeah, I’m not going to be used as your scapegoat.”

“Thank you, Lapis. It was nice meeting you,” Pearl said, curtly, not taking her eyes off Jasper. Jasper rolled her eyes and gulped down one of the pills. Lapis smiled before leaving the kitchen. Before she shut the door to her room, she heard Pearl’s high voice vivaciously scolding Jasper.

 

* * *

 

“Thanks for leaving me to the wolf,” Jasper complained, flopping down on the couch next to Lapis. Her white hair was damp, curling around her shoulders and back in gray tendrils. She was wearing a white tank top that was a little too tight and red sweatpants.

“You are the one who fucked up. Not me,” Lapis replied, rapidly pressing the buttons on the remote. Images flickered on the television screen in quick succession. “Plus, it was funny to know you got chewed out.”

 It was late afternoon. After Pearl had left, Jasper retreated to her room to nurse her hangover and bruised ego. Lapis spent part of her morning trying to fall back to sleep. When it never came, she tried occupying her time with mindless tasks. She tried on her clothes, arranged them in the dressers, fixed up her bathroom and watched the traffic from the balcony attached to her room. She decided to venture onto the living room terrace and enjoy the cooling weather.  

The terrace was a wooden deck with enclosed by stone walls that ran down most of the apartment; starting from the beginning of the living room to the end of the office. There was a large beige and dark brown leather sectional with a black stone fire pit in the middle on the far right. A black, square table with four tall chairs was propped against the middle of the wall that overlooked the city and ocean. On her left, there around, above-ground hot tub underneath a wooden canopy. It was sectioned off behind a half-wall. Everything was accented with exotic looking plants and stones.

She actually stayed outside for a while, lounging on the couch. Lapis had been tempted to pull off the cover for the hot tub and test the waters. However, she did not have a swimsuit, and she felt it like she was taking advantage of the luxury.  So, she had settled for another long, hard scrubbing shower. She had just finished a late lunch when Jasper finally emerged, fresh and alert. There was almost no sign of her hangover. Jasper clasped a hand behind her neck, rubbing the hard muscles.

“Yeah. I haven’t drunk like that it a while. I got carried away,” she explained, apologetically

“You think?”

“You can have a real smart mouth; you know that?”

“Yeah, I know. So, is Pearl a co-worker?”

"We run the business together, but her mother was the founder, and it was passed down to her."

“Oh, am I allowed to know that?” Lapis snipped, teasingly. “What happen to the whole secrecy thing?”

“I did not want to bore you with the details.”

“It does sound really boring.” Jasper’s amber eyes lit up, crinkling at the corners as she laughed. Lapis smiled, but it slipped it something tight and forced. It was weighing on her mind. She felt the tickle of curiosity in the back of her head. Her mouth wanted to move, to form the word and ask, but her brain sharply warned against it. Jasper seemed to notice. She cleared her throat as silence fell between them except for the noise of the television.

“Okay, fuck this. Look, about last night, I-well, I told you something that no one else knows. No one. But, I feel as if—I wanted you to know we have common ground. I get it. I want you to know I understand.”

“Yeah. Got that. Thanks,” Lapis replied, short and clipped. No, she wanted to hear this. She wanted to know, but the thudding of her heart told a different story. It screamed, beating at her to not listen, to push away and run. Jasper exhaled through her nose.

"You don't want to talk. You don't want to do anything to remember or think about it. You just want to move on, right?" When Lapis did not reply, Jasper continued, "I don't remember much. I was fucking messed up. But I remember I didn't want it, and I was terrified, and it was painful. It is a fucking awful experience. And it stays with you. It fucking lingers. I had no one. Absolutely no one."

“Why are you telling me this,” Lapis breathed in a raspy whisper as she fidgeted with her fingers. Her face was hot and her eyes burned with unshed tears. There was a dryness in her throat that made it difficult to swallow.  She tried focusing on the television, but all she saw was a blur of motion and color.

“I don’t want you falling into that dark place. That is a bottomless pit. I want you to know I am here even if you don’t want to talk to me." Lapis sniffled, desperately wiping the tears spilling down her cheeks. Fuck, fuck, fuck, she cursed. She did not know what overcame her. Her body was trembling with silent sobs while her head felt numb, clouded, confused. A gentle, hesitant hand touched her shoulder. "You are not alone, okay?" She broke. Lapis leaned into Jasper, gripping her tank and burying her face into her junction between her shoulder and arms. Jasper was taken by surprise but only briefly before she carefully stroked Lapis’s back.

"Is this okay," she asked. Lapis nodded. She let Lapis just cry, offering her the quiet comfort of a reassuring touch. When Lapis could no longer cry, she lifted her head up, staring at Jasper's chest dumbly.

“You have some big ass boobs,” she commented, numbly. She had no idea why that crossed her mind. Or why she chose to say that out loud. She kept feeling them when she was pressed against her. Lapis's face flushed with scarlet as Jasper gaped at her. Oh, God. Why did she even say that? Suddenly, Jasper broke into a throaty laugh.

“I’ll take the compliment,” she said, ruffling Lapis’s hair. “Go, clean your face, and get some sleep, okay? I did not mean to upset you. I just wanted you to know.”

"Yeah. Thank you, really. I must look like shit." Lapis moved off the couch, running her fingers underneath her sore, tired eyes. Jasper did not say anything but her smile revealed she agreed. Maybe she could get some sleep night. It felt good to cry, to be comforted. She felt a little better than she had in the last couple of days.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never know where the chapters are going. LOL


	12. Business and Pleasure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gotta say the response to this story is surprising and wonderful. Thanks!

The next week passed quickly. Jasper seemed to be working overtime. Lapis guessed she was trying to make up for the day she missed. Or Pearl was forcing her. She would leave before Lapis woke up and returned long after she had gone to bed. Even on the weekend. A few times Lapis caught her shuffling wearily into her room; her formal clothes disheveled and her face tight with exhaustion. Lapis felt a tinge of sympathy. Though, honestly, she really did not know what a typical day was like for Jasper. Peridot would pop in occasionally to check up on Lapis. She would never stay long, and she kept a very careful eye on the time.  No doubt she had gotten in trouble for staying with Lapis.

A majority of the time, Lapis was alone with little to keep her occupied. It was making her anxious, restless. By the eighth day, Lapis had enough. She needed to get out of the apartment. Lapis put on a pair of her new jeans, a light blue turtleneck top without sleeves and her duster. She fixed up her hair the best that she could, pulling it back into a stumpy ponytail using a tie she borrowed from Jasper. She really needed to dye her hair again. Maybe she could buy some Kool-Aid at the store. Or shoplift it. Lapis rarely shoplifted. It was not worth the risk, but she supposed a seventy-five cent packet of Kool-Aid would not be too bad. Once she was pleased with her appearance, Lapis grabbed her driver’s license, tucking it in her back pocket and wrote a note to Jasper before heading out.

Once she stepped outside into the cold morning air, anxiety gripped her. She had not been outside the apartment, by herself, for a week. It was unnerving, something she never thought would be possible. All thoughts disappeared from her head; dread gripped at her chest; her muscles trembled; her throat tightened; she was suddenly burning. Lapis blinked, licking her lips nervously, holding her breath for a moment before exhaling and inhaling slowly.

“Take a moment. Remind yourself to take a moment and find yourself _,_ ” she murmured under her breath. It was something Jasper had told her to do if she ever felt overwhelmed. Sing a song, recite a poem, or count to 100, something to distract her. Gradually, the numbness in her head thawed and her heart stopped racing, and her breathing normalized.

She made her way down the busy sidewalk, enjoying the warmth of the sun against her shoulders and the coolness of the salty air on her skin. It was getting closer to autumn. Everything was starting to smell like pumpkin, and the shops were putting up grinning jack-o-lanterns, dancing skeletons and spooky ghosts. Lapis was indifferent when it came to the holidays. She never had a family to celebrate with, and it was hard to enjoy them when you were jumping from home to home. But, she liked Halloween; it signified the changing of the seasons. The leaves blushing with reds and oranges, looking like flames when they caught the sun in the crisp breezes. It was always a beautiful time and, as bitter and petty as it sounded, Halloween did not focus on spending time with family.

Lapis had no real destination in mind as she wondered down the streets. She had no money to go out to eat. She had reconsidered shoplifting the Kool-Aid packet; her hair was in need of a complete bleaching. Or maybe she would go more natural. She was not sure but, without money, it really did not matter. Lapis was just going to enjoy her walk, admiring the Halloween decorations and costumes adorning the shops. Should she dress up this year? She did last year –more like was forced--when Amethyst took her to a party held by a co-worker. Steven had gone with Greg for the night. It had been fun. Alcohol, weed, watching people making out. Even Amethyst had hooked up with some girl dressed as an angel, which was ironic. Lapis smirked, moving away from the costumes shop.

“Lapis! Lapis!” Her name was being shouted by a familiar voice. Before she could turn to see who it was, a pair of arms enfolded around her shoulders and gently squeezed. Lapis tensed, pulling away immediately. Steven gave her a curious, hurt glance, pushing his brown curls out of his eyes.

“Oh my God, Steven. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was you! You scared the shit out of me. What are you doing here?”

“Sorry, Lapis! I’m on a field trip to Beach City Museum,” he motioned to the group of kids across the street. “And I saw you walking down the street, so I had to say hi. Hi!”

“Won’t you get into trouble?”

 "Probably." They both laughed. It was good to see Steven again. It had been a while since she had seen him. The familiar presence was a pleasant surprise. 

“I was just thinking about you. Well, about Halloween last year.”

 "Oh, yeah. You and Amethyst got drunk."

“Oh my God, yeah! We did! We also had some wicked hangovers too!”

“And I nursed you to health.”

“You fucking kept scolding us too!” They shared another laugh, relishing in the memories. Steven rubbed his hand against the back of his neck, ruffling his locks as he looked off into the distance.

“So, how have you been? You look healthy.”

“Are you trying to say I’ve gained weight,” Lapis asked with mock offense.

 "No! You just look good. Well. And, yeah, fed. But, happier." Happy? Was she not happy before? She was always glad to see Steven.

“Thanks, I guess.”

“Are you still living out of your car?” The delighted feeling shattered as Lapis was brought back to reality. She could not tell him what happened. He would worry and fret and probably get Amethyst involved. Or Greg. She really did not want them involved. They had their own problems to worry about other than her. Yet, Lapis could not lie to Steven. It did not feel right.

“Well, no,” she began, her mind racing to find the right words. How much could she tell him? How much would she reveal? “He got towed.”

“What?! Where have you been staying?”

“With a friend.” It was best that she left out the period where she was staying at the shelter.

“Who?”

“Her name is Jasper. She…uh…well…”

“You’re not, are you?” Lapis gave him a confused look. He was glancing around nervously, shifting on his feet. There was a hint of rose to his round cheeks. It dawned on her what he was avoiding to mention.

“No. God no! I guess she was a friend of my mother’s. Or her mom was.”

“What? Really? That’s—serendipitous.”

“Well, someone has been studying their English!”

“Straight As! Are you sure you can trust her? I, mean, that’s just really suspicious.”

“I know. I know. I—” Lapis hesitated for a moment, thinking over what she would say next. No, she did not trust Jasper. Well, she knew that she should not trust Jasper. Lapis was not quite certain how she felt about Jasper. She had been nothing but supportive and caring to her. Jasper had not given her a reason not to trust her. Not yet. And that was what Lapis feared. “Yeah. I trust her.”

 "Okay," Steven drew out the word. He did not entirely believe her. Lapis could not blame or convince him otherwise because she was not sure herself. It was odd to say that she trusted Jasper. The words felt strange and unsettling. But, he seemed to take that as suitable for the time being. "If you need anything, remember Amethyst, and I are here for you."

“Yeah. I’m just another mouth to feed, remember?” She was half joking as she remembered Amethyst’s outburst when Steven offered their apartment to her.

“No! No! Amethyst was just in a bad…”

“I’m joking, Steven. I know you guys got my back. Maybe I will come and visit once I get Bob back. But, for now, you better get back. Looks like you class is leaving without you,” Lapis gestured toward the group of teens wondering away with their teacher. Steven cursed under his breath and gave Lapis a quick goodbye hug before running to meet up with his classmates. She noticed him join a beautiful girl with long dark hair, dark skin and glasses, his face flushed. Her lips quirked into a smile. Steven waved back at her before disappearing into the museum. It was really nice to see Steven again. Her stomach rumbled rowdily. Lapis decided this was a good time to head back and pacify her creeping hunger. 

* * *

 When she entered the apartment, Lapis noticed two pairs of shoes by the entrance of the living room. Jasper's jacket was draped over the back of the couch, but there was no sign of Jasper or her guest. Lapis took off her duster, setting in on the arm of the sofa. Maybe they were on the terrace? It was a beautiful day after all. Lapis poked her head outside to check, but no one was there. Hmm. Wonder where they could be? She was about to knock on the office door when she heard a noise from Jasper's bedroom. Lapis crept over, putting her ear against the wall. She should not be eavesdropping. She should let Jasper know that she was back. But, she really could not contain her curiosity. What was going on beyond the closed door?

“Jas—Jasper,” a high-pitched, breathy whine rose from behind the wooden barrier. Lapis’s eyes widened, she pressed her lips together to keep from laughing. She had seen enough adult movies to distinguish the source of the cry. Well, Jasper was not lying when she said if she wanted sex, she would find it. There was a heavy moan accompanied by some colorful words. The voice sounded familiar, but Lapis could not place it. Lapis decided it was best to give Jasper some privacy.  As quiet as she could, Lapis grabbed a few items from the kitchen to make herself a sandwich. She had planned on eating in the living room, but the sounds from Jasper's room were spilling into the rest of the apartment. Lapis opted for the terrace.

Lapis was idly flipping through a magazine when something inside caught her eye. She had finished her lunch over an hour ago; her empty plate was sitting in front of her. It was Pearl. Her pink-colored hair was disorderly; her pale cheeks matched the color of her hair. That was the only part of her appearance that gave her way. Her clothes were perfectly placed on her thin body. Lapis cocked an eyebrow, closing the magazine and trying to shrink from view. Well, this was interesting. Pearl’s mouth was moving as she pulled a compact from her purse. She examined herself in the mirror, smoothing her hair with a hand. When she snapped the round object shut, she smiled over at Jasper. There was no kiss goodbye or anything. It was almost businesslike when Pearl left.

 Jasper came into view. Her hair was pulled into a sloppy ponytail. She was just wearing a sports bra and a pair of boxers. Lapis had to admit that she was impressed by Jasper and maybe a bit envious. She was big and muscular but still had a feminine hourglass figure.  Lapis was small-breasted and slender with only the slightest of curves. Well, she might as well go inside. It was starting to get chilly, and she had to let Jasper know she was back sooner or later. Lapis picked up her plate and opened up the doors to the warm apartment. 

“Hey, Blue,” Jasper greeted, taking a water bottle from the refrigerator. “How long have you been home?”

“A little bit,” Lapis said, casually, setting her plate into the sink. She glanced back at Jasper, who was taking a long drink of the water. “You know…I would never peg Pearl for the type to mix business with pleasure.”

“Wha—what?” The larger woman sputtered, spitting out water. She started coughing, beating against her chest as if it would help. Lapis grinned, leaning against the sink and folded her hands together.

“I’ve actually been home for a while.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were home?” She sounded frustrated.

“I thought I’d give you some space.” Lapis shrugged nonchalantly.

“You still should have told me you were home.”

“Why?”

“Because…” Jasper turned her attention away from Lapis, staring out into the living room.

“I would have known regardless, Jasper. It wasn’t exactly subtle and how would you even sneak Pearl out?” Jasper did not reply, her jaw was tight and clenched. She was tapping her fingers against the counter. “I don’t think knocking on the door would have been any better. It’s really no big deal. Seriously. I just did not know you two were a thing.”

“We aren’t.”

“Huh?” Jasper shook her head, drumming her fingers hard against the hard surface and clutching the water bottle with the other. She turned around, copying Lapis’s posture against the counter and taking a swing from her bottle. Lapis scowled. Why was she stalling?

“We aren’t exclusive or whatever,” Jasper muttered, rubbing her temples.

 "So, what, you're fuck buddies?" Jasper gave her a hard glance. Lapis tilted her head, sighing with exasperation. "I am 17; not 12, okay? And, it's whatever. Do who you want to do. No judgment."

"It's really not appropriate to talk about my sex life, Lapis," she said flatly

"Fair enough. It was just amusingly awkward."

“Amusingly awkward?” Jasper did not sound amused by this.

“It’s funny if you think about it. Imagine if I would have walked in! Now, that—that would have been embarrassing,” Lapis joked, trying to release the tension in the room. Jasper huffed as a smile skated across her thick lips. Her body relaxed against the counter as she took another drink. “And, at least, you have another outlet for relieving stress other than drinking.”

“You are something else, Blue.”

“Is that good or bad?” Jasper only replied with a secretive smirk and a playful wink. Lapis gaped her; scrunching her nose and sticking out her tongue childishly. Jasper laughed; a hearty, genuine laugh that noticeably vibrated through her body and lit up her amber eyes.

“Come on. Enough discussing it,” Jasper said, after her laughter had died down. “I have the day off tomorrow. I’ll order some Chinese and we will watch a movie. Your pick.”

“Hmm. I wonder how you earned the day off,” Lapis said, sarcastically. She could not resist the urge for one jab. Jasper lightly shoved her as she passed by and made a comment about her mouth getting her into trouble. Lapis laughed, smiling broadly. She had to admit, little by little, she was becoming more comfortable with Jasper. Would she ever trust Jasper? She was not sure, but she did like spending these small amounts of time with Jasper. However, it was not enough to really know her. She definitely was being spoiled by this luxury even if it was just a warm bed and an abundance of food. Could she leave? Did she want to leave? Lapis was not sure, but she had a week to figure that out.     

           

 


	13. Movie, Lunch and a Job?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my favorite chapter because I aimed for more interaction between Lapis and Jasper. I ended up blanking on it.

 Lapis was patiently waiting for Jasper to wrap up her call. Since Jasper had the day off, she had decided that she and Lapis needed to spend a day together. Lapis was not opposed to the idea. She hated being cooped up in the apartment, and she felt a lot safer being out with someone. Plus, she had not gotten a lot of time with Jasper. Despite her reservations, Lapis was curious about her, and she did enjoy spending time together.  Though, she felt uncomfortable being treated to the afternoon out. Jasper insisted since she did not want to be stuck in the apartment as well.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll make the next appointment. Thanks.” Jasper said, quickly, wrapping up her phone call as she shut the office door behind her. She slipped her phone into her purse and approached Lapis. Her mane was half up, pulling the unruly locks away from her face, which was carefully put together with eyeliner and lipstick. She was wearing an orange leather jacket over a black blouse, dark blue jeans and black boots. Lapis felt a little underdressed in her blue t-shirt, ripped jeans and sneakers. She did not even bother to do anything with her hair but run a brush through it, and her face was bare. 

“You look like you are about to go out on a date,” Lapis remarked, looking over Jasper one more time.

“Date? Ha! This is nothing, Blue.”

 "Nothing? Wow. I am curious what your "something" would look like." Lapis closed her eyes after the words tumbled from her mouth and echoed in her ears. That was not meant to sound so suggestive.  She smacked her palm against her flushed face. "I did not mean that to sound like that."

“Like what,” Jasper asked, innocently. Yet her knowing smile gave Jasper away. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah.” Lapis was thankful that Jasper chose to overlook her comment as they left.

* * *

 “It was stupid,” Jasper said, taking another bite of her salad.

“Oh, come on! It was dog who was a cop and a helicopter! It must have some appeal if they made a third one,” Lapis defended.

“Because people like stupid things.”

“No, you just don’t have a sense of humor!”

“Thank God.” Lapis rolled her eyes and returned to eating her chicken parmesan. After the movie, Lapis suggested that they eat at the Italian place that Peridot had taken her because she remembered the food being very good. The waiter was a lot warmer than the last time. If she was curious about the fancily dressed woman with the casual teenager, she barely showed it on her pleasant features. That did not mean others were not staring but Lapis ignored them and so did Jasper.

While they waited for their meals, Lapis and Jasper got to know each other a bit more, giving little bits of information about their lives in an almost quid pro quo type manner. Jasper kept her stories to a minimum and most did not seem to delve passed the age of fifteen. Lapis did learn a lot of superficial details about Jasper like favorite color, food, music, etc., but, nothing Lapis felt was too deep or sustainable. Lapis told Jasper about Steven and Amethyst and some of their hijinks. Jasper told some wild stories, however; Lapis felt they were watered down, pieces of information missing that left more questions than answers. After they finished their meals, Jasper ordered them each some cannoli for dessert. Lapis found this a lot more agreeable than the tiramisu. Before the waiter came back with the check, Jasper presented Lapis with a small, white box.

“This is for you.”

“What is it,” Lapis asked, suspiciously.

“The point is to open it and find out.” Lapis rolled her eyes again and pulled the tab on the top of the box. A small, chunky black rectangle slid out and into her hand. It took Lapis a moment to realize that it was a phone. Lapis scowled, gingerly touching the heavy black rectangle. It wasn’t anything fancy; a simple slider. She fiddled with the device, pushing the top up to reveal the tiny keyboard then slide it back down

“Nope. Nope. I can’t take it,” Lapis shook her head. She repeated flipping the screen a few more times, slightly mesmerized before handing the device back to Jasper.

"It's nothing, Blue. Just a pre-paid phone with some minutes on it. It’s in case of emergencies or, you know, giving me a heads up when you will be home,” Jasper smirked. Lapis cocked an eyebrow at the implication that there would be a next time. She still could not decide if she would stay with Jasper. As much as she wanted to have a little stability, Lapis was weary.

“It’s not just the phone, though. It’s the clothes and letting me stay with you and…”

“Do you still think I am going to turn around and ask you to pay up?” Jasper interrupted.

“Yes…no. I don’t know. It’s also…" Lapis, screw her lips, trying to think of the words to translate her feelings on the situation. "I'm not a charity case. So, I feel like I _should_ owe you.”

 "That's interesting you have trouble taking from me now, but you were fine with it when we first met. And you ate the bagels. Do you feel like you owe every Tom, Dick, and Harry that gave you money?”

“You sound like fucking Peridot,” Lapis gritted her teeth. Well, this just ruined the day. “You were a stranger. Someone I _shouldn’t_ have seen again. Yeah, you were fucking generous, but that’s rare. A few bucks from some strangers is…different.”

“How so?”

“I honestly can’t explain it. It…didn’t feel like charity. It was survival.” Lapis took a tentative sip of her soda. “And…those bagels were delicious.”

“They are pretty good,” Jasper smiled, leaning back in her chair and tilting her head against her fingers, regarding Lapis with a thoughtful gaze. Lapis decided it was best that she left out her uncertainty about why Jasper felt so compelled to help her. There was so much more than what Jasper had revealed. She was sure she did not want to know, but it still weighed heavily on her mind.

“Well, then I guess I’ll just ask something in return, “Jasper finally said after a moment of silence and a shrug of her shoulders. Her face was unreadable, deadpan. Lapis choked on her soda; spitting out the icy liquid. Jasper handed her a napkin, smirking. She patted the napkin against her chin. Their waiter chose this time to drop off the checking, eyeing them curiously but she did not say anything.

“W-what?” She was not sure if she heard that correctly.

 "Don't seemed so shocked. You were expecting it, weren't you?" Lapis scowled, unsure if Jasper was mocking her or not. She was afraid Jasper would want something in return. Lapis was half waiting for that moment when Jasper would call in a favor. She still was stunned that it happened. Why was she so surprised? Jasper's poker face split into a chuckle. "It's more of a proposition. But, right there, you weren’t expecting me to ask for something in return.”

“No! You just scared the shit out of me.”

“Exactly. If you really believed I was going to ask for repayment, you would have been better prepared, right? That’s why you never used the money I gave you. Why wouldn’t you do the same thing now?”

“Be-because…screw you. Really. Just…fuck you,” Lapis muttered, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Maybe a part of her really did hope and believe Jasper would not ask for anything in return. Lapis ran her fingers up and down her opposing arm. “That was manipulative.”

“It’s what I am good at. But, I get your whole charity case thing.  Even if I think begging for money is the same thing. So, if it would ease your guilt, I want to offer you a job.”

“A job?”

 "Yeah. Nothing special. Under the table and temporary. We've been swamped lately, hence, the long hours, and you'll just be helping out Peridot. Assistant to the assistant."

“Um…aren’t I a bit…underqualified.”

“You’re not handling accounts or dealing with clients. Just filing. Unless you don’t know the alphabet then, we have a problem.” Lapis scoffed, looking away toward the people making their way down the walk. “You don’t have to take it. No obligation and my offer still stands. But, you can earn a little extra money _and_ not feel like you are completely freeloading off me.”

“What’s the catch,” Lapis asked, turning her attention back to Jasper. This sounded too convenient, too perfect. Jasper sighed, shaking her head as her lips curved slightly.

“The catch…always a catch, huh. Well, if you do take the job, you gotta stay with me. I need to know you will go into work clean, presentable and focused. I knew it seems controlling but it is a business. And, we have to do something with your fucking hair.”

“Hey,” Lapis snapped, slightly offended even though she knew it was a disaster. She self-consciously ran a hand through her hair. Jasper flashed her strangely perfect white teeth.

“That’s my proposition. A job and a guaranteed roof over your head until you turn 18.” Lapis pressed her lips together, contemplating. She wanted to say yes. The acceptance played on her tongue, begging to be released. A job and a home. She would not have to return to the streets, begging for money and watching her back. Lapis should be jumping on this chance. But, two things were nagging at the back of her head, bickering with her desire to say yes and making her hesitate. One was why. Why was Jasper so generous? Something did not sit well with Lapis. What could she have done? This is going above and beyond. Or Lapis was still just paranoid. Secondly, at what cost? Jasper would have some level of control over her. If Lapis did something that Jasper disapproved, she held her job and her shelter as leverage. Of course, as her boss, she would dictate her work schedule and such but the lines between personal and professional would be blurred. Well, Lapis thought with a mental scoff. It wouldn’t be the first time and certainly not the last. And what about Pearl?

“How does Pearl feel about this?”

“Pearl? I’ve mentioned it to her. She is desperate enough to agree.”

“Um…I am not sure how I should take that.” Another spark of white teeth, a bit tighter lips as Jasper waited for her answer. “If I change my mind—for whatever reason—what happens?”

“I guess will figure that out when it comes to that but if you can’t stick out this job for about two months, you have some bigger issues,” Jasper replied with a slight triumphant tone. Lapis slowly inhaled through her nose and released the breath passed her lips.

“Okay. Deal.” Jasper’s face lit up, her amber eyes glowing and her mouth curled contentedly. She clapped her hands together.

“Great. You will start next week and you will need something so we can get a hold of you. Hmm. Oh, look, how convenient.” Jasper handed the phone back to Lapis, looking very pleased with herself. Lapis glared at her, taking the phone.

“You can be a real asshole, you know?”

“I know. What’s your point?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates are going to be a bit slower. I started a new class and it's going to kick my butt. Beowulf in a week? Fun. Fun. Luckily, I had this chapter mostly written. And there is drama to come! I swear!


	14. Like Mother, Like Daughter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another long chapter! Yay for procrastination!

Lapis yelped in pain as Jenny yanked at her hair. The slim, dark-skinned hairstylist scoffed but did not say a word as she slathered dye onto the lock between her fingers. She patted it on top of Lapis’s head when it was saturated. The smell of ammonia filled her nose, and the strips of aluminum crinkled in her ear as Jenny diligently worked. Lapis was forbidden to see what she was doing until Jenny finished. Jenny kept scolding Lapis on her poor hair maintenance and griping about all the work she would need to do to make Lapis look presentable. In the last three hours, Lapis's hair was subjected to cutting, numerous treatments and lots of pain. Jasper had disappeared after an hour or so, leaving Jenny to continue her torture. Lapis begrudgingly accepted this punishment through gritted teeth.

She started working at Jasper’s office tomorrow. She and Jasper had gone back and forth about what to do with her hair. Lapis refused to step foot inside a salon, content with doing it herself, however; Jasper wanted a professional to fix—as she put it—her disastrous mop. Finally, they came to a compromise. Jasper called in a favor from a client of hers, Jenny, to make a house call. Jasper also purchased her a new wardrobe for the position and painstakingly picked out the most appropriate outfit for her first day. It made Lapis feel like she was back in elementary school, getting prepped and cleaned to make the best impression. Only one of her foster families had put so much time and effort on the first day, but this preparation brought back those memories. She was still uncomfortable with Jasper spending this money on her.

Jenny tugged at another piece of Lapis’s hair, sending another shock to her abused scalp and Lapis cursed angrily. This went on for another hour before Jenny was finished coating her head and it was time to for the color to set. Jenny stepped out to call her sister and warned Lapis not to mess with or try to sneak a peek of her hair. Lapis raised three fingers up and crossed her heart. Once Jenny left, Lapis headed for the kitchen to get something to eat. Four hours sitting in her room had made her surprisingly hungry. Lapis stopped in her tracks just outside of the kitchen door. Jasper was intensely whispering; her muted tone was slightly aggravated and impatient.

“You need to be patient, okay? You will see her. Soon. I promise but,” a sigh. See who, Lapis wondered. "Right now is not the time.”

Silence followed. She must be on the phone. Lapis’s interest was piqued. She waited to hear more of the conversation as her heart thumped in her chest. However, it came to a swift conclusion after that. Jasper muttered that she had to go and said she would see the person soon. Who was on the other line? Suspicion crept up her spine like ice, making her shiver. Why was Jasper being so hush-hush about this call? Was she talking about _her_? Lapis scowled, pressing her lips together, painfully, with her nostrils flared. She did not like the thought of Jasper making secret plans about her. Burning up, Lapis went to stalk into the room and collided into Jasper.

“Woah, woah, “Jasper raised her hands.

“Who were you talking to?” Lapis asked, trying to sound casual but her voice came out cross and mistrustful.

“What?”

“Who were you talking to?” She demanded, more forcefully. Jasper’s puzzled look shifted into one of realization as she smiled and shook her head.

“It…it’s some chick that wants to hook up with Pearl.” Lapis’s brow creased.

“Then, why were you whispering?”

“Well, everyone does need to know I am trying to get my boss laid.” Lapis carefully blinked as she tried to processes Jasper’s words. Trying to get Pearl laid? Wasn’t that part of Jasper’s job description? Could she believe that? Jasper sighed, rubbing her fingers against her forehead. “Damn, Lapis. What’s with the fucking third degree?”

“I just...” Lapis lowered her eyes, staring at her bare feet against the tiled floor. “Sorry. For some reason, I thought you were talking about me.”

“You? Christ, Lapis. You just think the worst, don't you?" Jasper’s tone was clipped, hurt. Lapis lifted in shoulders, feeling the weight of the dye and the scraping of aluminum.

“That’s just me, I guess.” Jasper studied her; her features were impassive; her gaze was long and hard. Lapis stood motionless in the kitchen. Guilt weighed on her shoulders as she chewed on her bottom lip.  Jasper opened her mouth when Jenny came back from her call, immediately sensing the tension. Her dark eyes flickered between Jasper, who had folded her arms over her chest, and Lapis, who felt like a child who was scolded. Jenny took Lapis’s arm and pulled her back into her room. Jasper’s amber eyes trailed on them, flashing with something that Lapis could not identify.

Lapis sat quiet and miserable as Jenny rinsed out the dye and trimmed her hair. She needed to start giving Jasper the benefit of the doubt. She had been nothing be nice and generous, and all Lapis reward her with was suspicion. All she could think about was how much she fucked up. As hard as she tried, Lapis just could not shake the feeling that Jasper was up to something.

* * *

  Jasper gave Lapis a tour of the office to make sure she was familiar with the setting. It was located in a building that Lapis had always passed but never paid much attention. There were five offices in the two-story building:  two upstairs and three in the lobby level. Jasper's room was the only workspace that occupied upstairs, leaving the other vacant. There was a lawyer, a tax advocate and a bankruptcy attorney filling up the downstairs. A bored security officer was standing at the front when they entered. He gruffly greeted Jasper while his eyes lingered on Lapis. The building was lined with white tile, and a small water fountain sat in the main lobby. Light burst from the windows and illuminated the empty space. Just behind a little plot of flowers, there was an elevator. Each office was marked with fancy lettering on the dark glass doors.

 PD Investments was one of the bigger agencies in the building. The reception area was all gray, dark gray floor and light gray walls. There were a few chairs placed around a TV mounted to the wall, playing the news on a low volume. A cute secretary with deep red hair sat at the desk, a phone tucked between her cheek and shoulder. She flashed flawless white teeth as Jasper said good morning. Her brown eyes clouded when they saw Lapis. Her perfectly colored red lips arched in a curt, strained smile. Lapis expected to see Peridot sitting there, but she must have confused her job.

 Passed the secretary, there was a short corridor, simply decorated with a few floral paintings hung carefully on the walls. Two doors were on both sides of the hallway with one at the end. Jasper stopped at each office, showing Lapis around and introducing her to the other staff.  There was a girl named Sadie who was plump and short but very friendly; Lars, who was skinny and sour with fluffy, coppery hair; and Sapphire, a small, reserved woman with naturally silvery-blonde hair.  Jasper showed Lapis the breakroom and listed all the rules she needed to abide. The main one was never, ever take food that she did not bring herself. Jasper and Pearl shared the last room at the end of the hall. When they entered, Peridot was sitting at her desk, clicking away. It was a smaller reception area than the main one. Behind Peridot was two doors, one closed while the other one was open and Pearl was standing in the frame. "That's where we keep all of our files," Jasper informed Lapis with a nod. "The other one is our office.”

 Pearl was dressed in beautiful pastel. She wore a light blue dress that was a similar color to Lapis's blouse; white pantyhose stretched over her long, slim legs and she wore identical blue heels. Her pinkish hair was meticulously coifed. Lapis had to admit that Pearl was almost regal in her dress and her manner. Jasper reminded her more of a tiger, beautiful but intimidating. Pearl's blue eyes flashed at the sight of Jasper and Lapis. She opened her pink lips but hesitated. She seemed to be considering who she should speak to first. Peridot looked up, blinking at Lapis as if she did not recognize her.

 "Well, you look…nice, Lapis." Pearl sounded like she had swallowed a lemon as she forced herself to compliment the girl. Lapis did not know how to respond but simply said thank you. Jenny had cut her hair so that it was short and layered in the back but gradually became slightly longer in the front. She had full bangs that swept over her eyebrows and her hair was soft and silky, something that Lapis could not help but run her continuously run her fingers through. Jasper had picked out a powder blue blouse with a black, form-fitting vest to go over the top and a black pencil skirt. Before they had left, Lapis switched it for a pair of black dress pants. With her obligatory small talk out of the way, Pearl turned her attention to Jasper.

“You. We need to go,” she snipped. Jasper grumbled with a distasteful sigh. She gave Peridot her instructions and told Lapis to be good before following Pearl back out the office. Peridot's eyes were wide underneath her glasses. Her short blonde hair was slicked back again, and she was wearing a silvery top with a darker gray skirt. She almost matched the colors in the hall. Peridot slowly blinked, clearing her throat.

“You look good. Your hair is definitely an improvement,” she complimented, hoarsely. Lapis smiled and flipped up a layer of her chocolate brown locks.

“I still got the blue, though,” Lapis exclaimed, showing off the cascade of blue hues underneath the waves of her hair.

“Cool,” Peridot admired the color with a half-interested glance, nodding. She focused back to the screen of her computer. Lapis let her hair fall back into place. Peridot had been pretty impressed with her transformation, however; the initial shock had worn off, and Peridot was back to business.

“Well, let’s get started with what you will be doing,” Peridot said.

* * *

  A few hours later, Lapis was already bored, but she understood why Peridot was overwhelmed. As she had explained, she was solely Jasper and Pearl’s assistant. The girl up front, Beth, worked with the other three but they did not have as many clients or responsibilities as the CEOs. Between calls and other tasks, Peridot had to keep up with all the old files from when Pearl’s mother ran the company and scanned them into the computer. This was proving to be a daunting task on top of everything else, and that was why they hired Lapis. All she needed to do was scan the documents into the computer while Peridot did everything else.They had made a makeshift desk next to Peridot’s. At first, Lapis did not mind the work, and it proved to be pretty simple. But, boy, was it tedious! She found herself watching the hands of the clock tiptoe along its face. For the most part, Peridot and Lapis worked in silence.  Whenever Lapis tried to initiate a conversation, Peridot would reply with short quick answers.

The first half of the day remained uneventful. No one came into the office, and Jasper and Pearl never returned from wherever they had gone. It was not until after lunch when the heavy wooden door flew opened with a deafening crash causing Lapis and Peridot to jumped out of their chairs. Behind the tall woman standing in the doorway, Beth was yelling and chasing after her. The woman threw the door into the redhead’s face with a sharp, cruel smirk. Peridot stood up, her face was drawn in graceful aggravation as she glared at the woman. Her pale blonde hair was piled expertly on top of her head in a messy bun. Her severe, bony features drawn in tight arrogance. Amber eyes swept across the room and her thin lips coiled in an austere smile. She wore a long, yellow overcoat that was open to reveal a black turtleneck and black slacks.

“Well, hello, Peridot,” she purred, venomously. “How are you doing this fine afternoon?”

 "Jasper's not here," Peridot replied in a trimmed tone. The woman scoffed and waved her hand. Why did this woman look so familiar? Lapis studied her intently, halting in her work. The pale hair, the yellow eyes. The woman approached Peridot’s desk, walking with rigid poise, pouting.

“Oh, typical. Tell me, Peri,” she leaned on the desk, her face close to Peridot's.  "What kind of daughter doesn't make time to see her mother?" Mother? Lapis's eyes widened, her memory flashing back to the picture Jasper had shown her. That's why she looked so familiar! Not to mention the similar features the two shared. Oh, shit.

“I don’t know, Miss Diamond. She isn’t here, you need to leave.”

“Very well,” she pulled back, scattering the papers on the desk and straightened her shoulders. She zipped up her yellow coat as if she just realized it was open. Her eyes fell on Lapis, noticing her for the first time. “Now, who do we have here?”

“I’m Lapis. Lapis Lazuli.” Miss Diamond’s eyes widened as her lips moved to repeat her name.

“Little Lapis. Why I haven’t seen you since you were this high,” she indicated the height against her knee. “Oh my, look at you, so…grown up. How old are you now?"

"Seventeen."

"Seventeen!? Oh my. Has it really been that long? You look so much like your mother. She was such a lovely young woman too.”

“Okay, sure.” Deadly quick, she snatched Lapis chin between her long, slender fingers and jerked Lapis’s face close to hers. Her molten eyes bore into hers as her sharp nail dragged along her jaw. The smell of menthols, alcohol and a strong drug filled Lapis’s senses as Miss Diamond exhaled slowly. Her fingers dug into the soft flesh of Lapis’s cheek.

“So, are you Jasper's little ward or her little whore?" Lapis tried to yank herself away, but she had a firm hold onto her chin. A whore? She wasn’t a fucking whore! Miss Diamond leered before softly tossing Lapis’s head aside. “Either way, now I see where all her resources are going. Won’t even spare a penny to her poor mother.”

“I am going to call security if you don’t leave, Miss Diamond.”

“Pssh. That old pervert. Just flash him some tit, and he will do anything for you. How do you think I got in here?"

“Fine. How about the police?”

“I’m leaving, dear. I’m leaving. You will tell Jasper I stopped by?” Her voice was syrupy poison.

“She will get the message.”

“It was so good to see you again, Lapis. You’re one pretty, _young_ girl. Be careful around my daughter, okay?” Miss Diamond patted her cheek before taking her leave. Lapis stretched her jaw and ran her fingers along her skin. She could feel the imprints of Miss Diamond’s nails against her skin. Peridot sighed heavily and sat back down.

“What the hell was that about?”

“She comes in every month to ask Jasper for money. Jasper has loaned her nearly 50 grand. Lately, Jasper has been telling her no but she still comes. Fucking vile woman,” Peridot explained, fixing up the papers that Miss Diamond scattered.

“Yeah, she seems like a real bitch.”

“Are you okay?” Peridot’s green eyes found hers as her brows crinkled with concern. Lapis smoothed her pants and sat back down.

“Yeah. I’ll live.”

“You’re not a whore.”

“I know that!” 

“I just…sorry. That was just crossing a line, in my opinion. Just because you are living with Jasper and she is helping you, doesn’t make you a whore.”

“No shit.” Peridot grimaced but did not say anything else. She was not a whore! That woman was just a bitch. Lapis shoved a document into the scanner. Then why did she feel like there was some truth to it?

 


	15. Too Many Bombs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick chapter because I felt inspired. And thanks for over 200 kudos!

 Lapis was still fuming by the time Jasper and Pearl returned from the meeting with a few of their clients. Peridot informed them that Jasper's mother had stopped by again and Jasper seemed jaded by the whole thing. It was evident that she was getting fed up with her mother's visits. Pearl was vocally frustrated too. She scolded Peridot for not calling the police the moment Miss Diamond had stepped foot in the office.  Peridot apologized, stating she would next time. This irritated Pearl even more as she told Jasper that there shouldn’t be a next time. She stormed into the office with a final slam of the door. Jasper looked tired and worn as she told Lapis to finish up so they could go home.

“I should have said something,” Lapis ranted to Jasper as she sped down the street in her Mercedes. “Or hit her. I should have fucking hit her.”

“That would have made the situation worse.”

“It would have made me felt better at least, “Lapis muttered, her nostrils flaring and her lips pursed in a pout. Jasper smiled. Silence enveloped the car for a moment before Lapis spoke again, curiosity getting the best of her.

“Why did you stop loaning your mom money?” Jasper sighed, exasperated. Her knuckles tightened on the steering wheel, the leather groaning underneath the pressure.

“I’ve only loaned her money twice. It was going toward her own dirty business.”

 "What kind of business? Investments?" Jasper snickered, glancing over at Lapis who coyly smirked. Jasper did not immediately reply her eyes intent on the busy road before her.  Her features were drawn in careful consideration as if she was deciding whether to disclose this piece of information. 

“She is a drug dealer,” she finally replied, slow and cautious. For some reason, Lapis was not surprised by this, remember how the woman had the subtle perfume of some type of drug, a lingering memory in the back of Lapis’s mind. “Nothing big time though she wishes.”

“Were you a dealer?” Lapis blurted out before the question had fully formed in her mind. Another sigh, slowly through her nose; knuckles white on the wheel and her tongue swept over her lips. She immediately regretted asking as Jasper posture tensed. Jasper rolled her shoulder back as if brushing off the strain.

“Yeah,” Jasper admitted, her voice laced with shame. Now, this surprised Lapis. She looked over at Jasper, but she did not even look at her as she continued. “My mom and I worked for one of the big dealers. Again, not big, big but he had pull. Good old mom was the manufacturer.”

“What did you deal?”

“Meth, mostly. Sometimes heroin or marijuana but mainly meth.”

“Oh, like Breaking Bad.”

“Never watched it.”

“It’s good,” Lapis said, softly as the conversation sizzled down. This was the most personal information that Jasper had ever revealed to her. She had stated that she did not want to end up like her mother and she made some significant life changes. Going from a small town drug dealer to a CEO of a company _was_ kind of inspiring, Lapis had to admit. She was not familiar with the intricacies of that lifestyle besides what she had seen in television and movies, but it seemed like something rather dangerous. Lapis understood Jasper in a slightly different light when something flashed across her mind.

“Was my mom a dealer?”

“Not exactly. She—um, well,” Jasper rubbed her hand against her neck.  “She earned her money...differently. And it wasn't selling drugs.”

Lapis scowled, confused. Jasper licked her lips again. Differently? What else could she be—oh, _OH._ Lapis’s eyes enlarged, her bottom lip falling slightly as she took in a sharp breath.

“No. N-n-no. You—you aren’t…she wasn’t. Is that why your mom called me a whore? Because my mom was…”

“No, I am pretty sure that was a jab at me. My mom adored yours. She would hire her to--.”

“Ugh,” Lapis lifted her hands as if she was about to cover her ears. “Why? I don’t need to hear any more. Seriously. Don’t even continue.”

“She didn’t have to pay. It was more to give…”

“Just stop! I don’t want to know. Kids don’t want to hear about their parents’ sex life. Especially when it’s for money.” Jasper did not say anything. The edge of Lapis’s mouth had twitched for a moment before she turned her attention outside. So many things ran through her head, so many questions sprung from this news. Her eyes prickled as the scenery speeding by became distorted. She let out a slow breath to smother the sob in her throat; her chest felt heavy. She leaned her forehead against her fingertips, caressing her temples. Lapis did not even want to know her mother had sex for money either. Lapis always knew her mother was an addict. It was something she heard whispered amongst her foster families since she was young. Beyond that, she never knew much about her mother. She barely remembered what she looked like until Jasper showed her the picture. Now this. Jasper’s hand seized hers, fingers curling in a comforting squeeze.

“I know this is a bit of a shock.”  
  
“Oh, not at all. Why would it?  I, mean, I don't know this woman, but more and more my life sounds like some fucking _Lifetime_ movie. The homeless, bastard daughter of an addicted prostitute living on the streets and taken in by some generous benefactor. Who wouldn't just enjoy that? Ghetto little orphan Annie.” Lapis hissed, bitterly, pulling her hand away from Jasper to wipe her wet eyes. “Ugh. I shouldn’t care. I don’t know why I care.”

“Because It’s your mom,” Jasper answered, simply.  

“Yeah, well, the more I find out, the more I’m glad she left me.” The car abruptly stopped as Jasper slammed on the breaks. Lapis was thrust forward, her hands shot out to stop herself from slamming into the dash. A horn angrily blared behind them. “What the hell, Jasper?”

“Don’t you dare say that! You have no idea! She was trying to get out of that life, Lapis. She really was! She made mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes,” Jasper snapped, angrily, tapping her fingers against the steering wheel to each word. Another cursing honk sounded off as someone zipped by them. “She was a good person.”

“Maybe you should start driving,” Lapis instructed softly, taken back by Jasper’s outburst. Jasper growled and hit the gas. The Mercedes jerked and the tires squealed. Lapis gripped on the sides of her seat. They sat in tense silence until they reached the apartment, Lapis fuming the entire ride. Jasper had no right to yell at her!  She wasn't the one to be left at a park! She wasn't the one finding out that, not only was her mom an addict but a prostitute! No! She was telling her all of this and expecting her to be fine and pity the woman! Why was she so adamantly defending her anyway?

Once they parked, Lapis jumped out quickly, slamming the door with hostile force. She wanted to make it upstairs before Jasper could catch up with her. However, Lapis underestimated Jasper’s speed as she grabbed her arm before she got too far from the car. Lapis panicked, even though she knew it was Jasper and swung her fist.  Jasper prevented the attack with her free hand. Lapis frowned and yanked her hands away. Luckily, Jasper let go and raised up in hands in surrender.

“You need to stop telling me that my mother was a good person! That she was so wonderful and just "made mistakes." She left me to get high. She was an addict, and now, now, I find out she was a— "Lapis could not bring herself to say it out loud "You don't get how that makes me feel, Jasper, especially since that changes a lot more things than you realize. What about my father? Who was he? A client? A boyfriend? God knows at this point but I sure as hell don't! It makes me feel like one of her many mistakes. A mistake that she abandoned. I don’t care if she was _trying_ be-because, guess what, she failed. All I wanted was my mom, but she didn't stay sober long enough for me to have her. You had her. She was a mother to _you_. So, don’t tell me she is a great person because in my mind she is a piece of shit.”

 “You’re right,” Jasper said, softly. “I keep fucking up. You have a right to know but, it’s not fair for me to expect you to be okay with it and just accept Di—your mom. I-I didn’t even think about the pain you went through or the animosity you have for her. I just know she was trying to make a better life for you and her. What happened should have never happened, and you and she were the ones who paid the price. And I shouldn’t except you understand that right now.”

The tension built up inside Lapis eased slightly, her rigid shoulders slumping.  She looked away from Jasper, focusing her attention on a shadow standing next to a streetlight. It almost seemed like someone was standing there, observing them. Lapis ignored it, brushing it off as paranoia and turned back to Jasper, blinking away the tears from her eyes. She was ready to sleep. The events of the day weighed heavily on her. Lapis was exhausted, but she felt a sense of relief. Lapis rubbed her sore, watery eyes.  Jasper approached her, pulling Lapis against her chest and wrapping her arms around her. She felt the tickle of Jasper’s warm breath against her ear and cheek. Instinctively, Lapis returned the embrace.

“So, how many more bombs do you have to drop on me before I am completely devastated?” Lapis asked with a breathy laugh, implying some lightheartedness to her comment. She felt Jasper snorted, running her fingers softly over her back in a consoling caress.

“I’ll be honest; I might have a couple more.”

“Great. Can you just give me a warning when you drop one? I don’t want to just hear the whistling before it hits.” Jasper bobbed her head, which Lapis took as her agreement. Jasper pulled back, holding her shoulders casually, smiling.

“On a lighter note, you looked beautiful today. Even Pearl kept telling me you looked nice.” Lapis laughed as her cheeks burned.

“Better?” Lapis shook her head, sniffling.

“Not even close. But, some alcohol might help.”

“Sure. I can arrange that.”


	16. Judging A Book By Its Cover

Lapis rested her head in the curve of her arm, groaning deep within her throat. Her half-eaten lunch sat in front of her. She was so fucking tired! It was another sleepless night. She could not escape from the two monsters that always pursued her when she closed her eyes. The feel of hand, the smell of the alley and the faint sound of a zipper lingered deep in the back of her mind. Sometimes her mother would appear, a barely recognizable ghost, and calmly, sweetly tell her that it was all part of the job. Lapis snapped up when the metal hit the table right by her head. A giant Red Bull was placed in front of her, and Peridot was looking at her with a concerned expression. She must have dozed off…

 "It was two for $6, and I thought you could use one,” she said. She was wearing black slacks and an emerald blazer. Her blonde hair was simply done, and her makeup was minimal. She had a Red Bull too and a white Styrofoam box in her hands. Lapis muttered thanks, popped the top and guzzled the tangy, carbonated drink. She wrinkled her nose at the taste but the cool liquid was refreshing, and she could feel that buzz of adrenaline in her head.

“Is it time to go yet,” Lapis asked, slightly breathless from chugging the energy drink and absently plucked at the pop top.

“You still have half the day left,” Peridot answered, taking a seat next to Lapis and opening her lunch. The smell of soy sauce and garlic wafted into the air. Peridot twirled a noodle around her plastic fork and put it into her mouth. Lapis groaned and smacked her head against the table a bit harder than she had planned. Peridot snorted. Lapis rubbed her sore forehead, embarrassed.

“Fuck. That hurt.”

“It sounded like it hurt!” Lapis smiled tightly, wincing with a wrinkle of her nose. She was going to have a red mark. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I think I might live.”

“Well, yeah. You certainly showed that table who’s boss but, I mean, are you okay? You look so exhausted.” Peridot stared intently at Lapis, the heat of her green eyes scorching into her face. Lapis idly twirled the can on the table.  

“I’m fine. Just…trouble sleeping,” Lapis muttered, not meeting Peridot’s gaze.

“Well, obviously. Why?” She pressed, crossing one leg over the other.

“Insomnia, I guess.”

“You basically gave me the same answer but used a different term, you know that, right? Insomnia can be caused by many things: depression, anxiety, food, drug use, alcohol consumption…"

“I get it. I just have trouble sleeping,” Lapis shrugged, trying to sound casual. “I don’t really know the cause.”

“Does it have to do something with the bruises on your face?” Lapis scowled.

“You’re asking too many questions.”

“I’m inquisitive. And I am concerned.” The heat in her cheeks intensified. She would not expect Peridot to be worried about her. She seemed to have caused the blonde more grief than anything.

“I’m fine. It’s just been quite an adjustment,” Lapis said, hastily. This was not a complete lie. In less than a month, she was nearly raped, moved in with Jasper, discovered her mother was a prostitute and starting working. Of course, the assault and mother-was-a-prostitute were not exactly things that lulled her to sleep. Peridot reached out and briskly patted her arm.

“I can’t begin to imagine but, I see it as a good adjustment, yeah? Off the streets? A roof over your head, new clothes…”

“Sure. All the perks of being a whore.”

“Well, you are so much prettier than Julia Roberts,” Peridot joked but her face immediately reddened, and Lapis felt the heat rise in her own cheeks “I-I did not mean that as you being a whore…I just meant…”

“It’s fine. I got it,” Lapis replied, smiling tightly to show she took it in good humor.

“She was just a bitch. So, don’t take it to heart,” Peridot comforted, instinctively knowing. It’s kind of hard not to take it to heart, Lapis replied, bitterly. She just nodded and cradled the cold aluminum can in her hands. Peridot went to eating her lunch and Lapis picked at her sandwich, eating a couple of chips. After a few moments, Peridot spoke up again, “So, if you don’t mind me asking, are you still planning on doing that program?”

“Yeah. I’ll speak with Garnet, she is the founder, and start on my GED and getting a place and a job.”

“Um, why if you already have a home and a job? I can imagine you can get started on your GED too.”

“Well, the job is temporary, and I don’t want to rely on Jasper,” Lapis answered, simply. She anticipated Peridot to counter her answer but, for once, Peridot seemed to accept it.

“Yeah, I get that.”

“What? No snarky response?”

“Nah. I get the whole independence thing,” Peridot said, cryptically. Lapis cocked her head in interest, but Peridot did not continue. Lunch was over, and they cleaned up their places before returning to the office. Jasper and Pearl were out again. They had been gone for most of the morning. This seemed to be a common occurrence with them she noticed. Lapis wondered how much of that time was spent working. She and Peridot settled back into their routine with Lapis scanning her papers and Peridot doing everything else. Lapis observed that Peridot was very professional and attentive when it came to her job. Her face was stoic when she concentrated and opened when she greeted clients. Whenever Lapis tried to initiate a conversation, Peridot’s answers were succinct. Lunch had been the most Peridot had spoken to her since she started.

 She was kind of curious about what Peridot meant by understanding the need for independence. Lapis knew she came from a wealthy family and they sheltered her, but that was the extent of her knowledge. Maybe they were controlling? Maybe she had been too sheltered? Lapis went over a few different scenarios, ranging from dull to outrageous and thrilling. It helped the time pass by quickly. Before she realized it, the day had ended, and it was time to go home. Jasper and Pearl had not returned yet. Lapis scowled as she turned off her computer and watched Peridot close the office. Well, how was she supposed to get home? Peridot answered her question as if she had read her mind.

“Jasper told me to give you a ride home,” she said, slinging her purse over her shoulder. Lapis shrugged and gathered her wallet and cell phone. She noticed that she had gotten two messages from Jasper. One was an hour ago that informed her that Peridot was going to drive her home; the second was sent ten minutes ago.

 

Jasper: Can you entertain yourself for a couple of hours?

 

Lapis scoffed.

 

Lapis: I guess I can.

 

Jasper: Good.

 

Lapis: Let me guess. Relieving some stress?

 

Jasper: Not discussing this.

           

 Lapis rolled her eyes and shoved the cell into the pocket of her pants. Well, thanks, Jasper. What am I supposed to do for a couple of hours while you get laid? Lapis waited for Peridot while she locked up. The other associates always left an hour earlier, and Pearl or Peridot were the ones to close the office. Apparently, Jasper did not do the end of the day tasks to Pearl's liking. They made their way to the parking lot. The sun was slipping behind the horizon and stained the sky with pinks, purples, and blues. The temperature was dipping low, and a chilly breeze scattered fallen leaves across the ground. Her eyes caught a human-shaped shadow move behind a building. Something sunk in her stomach but she ignored it. Lapis slide into the passenger seat of Peridot’s car.

“So, uh, change of plans. I can’t go home quite yet.”

“Why?”

“Um, Jasper needs some privacy for a couple of hours.” Lapis licked her lips, nervously. She could not tell Peridot the real reason. She was not afraid of Jasper as she was of Pearl.

“Um, okay. I guess you can hang out at my place. I don’t live too far.”

“Ya sure? I don’t wanna be a burden or anything. You aren’t my babysitter after all.” Peridot rolled her eyes and backed out of the parking lot.

“It’s fine. I don’t mind babysitting,” she laughed. Lapis could not help but laugh as well.

Peridot did not live that far from the office. It was about a fifteen-minute drive with mild traffic. She lived in a modest apartment complex. It paled in comparison to the Jasper’s lavished home but, Lapis found them to be nice and maintained. Peridot’s place was on the fifth floor in a small, one-bedroom apartment and it was not what Lapis was expecting. Paintings and posters lined the walls while sculptures and other knickknacks shoved on floating shelves.  The kitchen was immediately on the right when they entered. It was small and narrow with papers, artwork, cans of Red Bull and wrappers littering the bar area; dishes haphazardly piled in the sink. Various clothes littered with couch including a couple of bras and underwear. Peridot had a large, smart TV sitting on an entertainment center with a bunch of game systems plugged in; there was a PS4, XBOX One and a Wii U. Besides the TV was a large media storage unit filled with DVDs, Blu-Rays, and games. Shit! Amethyst would have a field day! Lapis looked over at Peridot with a bewildered expression. Peridot looked horrified.

“Oh, fuck. I never realized how bad my place looked! I am so sorry!” She rushed toward the couch, flinging clothes over arms.

 "Don't worry about it. I never would have pegged you for a gamer, though! You would get along with my friend, Amethyst. Oh, my god, she would be so fucking jealous!"

 "I don't get to play so much. I used to in high school. My parents never approved. They thought it was a waste of time," Peridot said, throwing the pile of clothes into her room and shutting the door. She dashed to the kitchen and frantically started throwing things away. Lapis gazed at the painting and posters on the walls. She recognized some of the posters for different animes, movies, and games. 

“Did you paint these?”

“Yeah. I did the sculptures too. Just some things to do in the little spare time I have,” Peridot called from the kitchen. Lapis made her way to the towering storage and examined some of the titles. Peridot had quite the collection. She pulled a DVD from the row. There was an anime girl with large blue eyes and long light-brown hair. She was wearing a school uniform with a long blue skirt that was flying up and bunnies falling around her. _Miyuki-Chan in Wonderland,_ Lapis read. From what she gathered, it was an all-female version of Alice in Wonderland, and all the women wanted Miyuki. Lapis snorted. Well, she had misjudged Peridot.

“My friend plays this game all the time. Every time I come over, I swear she is playing it,” Lapis said, picking up the fighting game. Peridot came up beside her and looked at the title.

“I haven’t played in ages. Do you play?”

 "No religiously. I used to play with Amethyst or sometimes her brother Steven. I suck. I liked Kingdom Hearts, though. And Final Fantasy."

“Which one?”

“Hell if I know. Uh…it began with some chick singing at a concert.”

“Oh, X2. Seems you like the RPG games.”

“I guess.”

“Well, I own both of those if you want to play,” Peridot offered.

“Got any other suggestion?”

“Don’t even get me started,” Peridot said. 

* * *

 

 Lapis’s phone went off a few hours later while they were in the middle of a game. She didn't bother to answer as she shouted at the screen. Just as she thought, she sucked at shooter games. Peridot was a pro and effortlessly took down the other players with skill and a pretty foul mouth.  When the game finally ended, Lapis grabbed her phone as Peridot celebrated another victory. Peridot was so much more different outside of work. She was having a great time, and she was glad that Jasper needed her privacy. Speaking of Jasper, she had two missed calls and four texts from her. She never noticed her phone went off that many times. Shit. Lapis motioned to the phone as she pushed redial and made her way to the kitchen.

“Hey, Jasper. I… “

 "Why haven't you answered me? I've been worried sick," Jasper interrupted.

“I’m with Peridot. I didn’t…”

“Lapis. You should have told me where you were going. You or Peridot. I might have been busy, but I would like to make sure you are safe." Lapis felt a flutter in her stomach, but it was quickly replaced by annoyance.

“Geez, Jasper, I’m sorry. It wasn’t like you cared when you were fuc—relieving stress and ditched me,” Lapis retorted. There was silence on the other end.

“Just get home, please,” Jasper said, exasperated then silence. Lapis glared at her phone. She really had some nerve yelling at her! Lapis stomped over to the couch and grabbed the controller. Peridot flashed her a questioning look.

“One more game and I gotta go,” she muttered, not revealing her conversation with Jasper. There was some aggression she needed to release. When she got home, Jasper was waiting for her in the hall. She was dressed in a maroon tank top and matching sweats; her hair was wet and sleek behind her back. There was a deadly expression on her tight features which Lapis met with equal defiance.

“We need to discuss…” Jasper began. This time Lapis interrupted. She had been rehearsing the argument in her head the entire drive.

“No, we don’t. I don’t care if you are fucking your boss or Beth or whoever but you told me to keep myself busy and I did. If you were so concerned, you would have made sure I was safe hours earlier.”

“You should have at least told me where you were. I didn't hear from you, and I couldn't get a hold of you. I was worried that something happened to you again." There was that flutter in her stomach again. It felt good that Jasper was concerned about her wellbeing; however, she did not appreciate the control issue.

 "Well, thanks for the concern but this was one of my issues about staying here. I don't want to be controlled. I…"

“I am not trying to control you, Lapis. I just want to know where you were,” Jasper sighed.

"And what I am doing and who I am with and what time I'll be home. But, only when it's convenient for you, right?" Jasper rubbed her forehead, muttering something about teenagers and needing a drink.

“I don’t want to fucking argue.”

“I thought you wanted to discuss this," Lapis mocked.

"I don't know how to handle this, Lapis, and you're not understanding that I just want to know your safe."

"Fine, Jasper. By the way, you owe Peridot a raise or time off or something. She does too much shit that she doesn’t need to do like being a chauffeur or a babysitter.” Jasper scoffed, shaking her head with a tight smile. Her teeth were clenched underneath her full lips. Lapis could not tell if she was annoyed by her suggestion or the change in topic. Honestly, she did not care. Lapis brushed passed her, stopping at the end of the hall. Jasper had her arms over her chest, staring at the wall. An evil grin spread across her lips. “Oh, and you need to find a better fuck buddy because Pearl obviously isn’t doing it right.”

She ran to her room before Jasper could turn around and reply.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun story: I did own Miyuki-chan in Wonderland at one point. It was a present from a friend because I liked Clamp.


	17. All Hallow's Eve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes some drama!

“Thanks again for letting me hang out,” Lapis said as she tucked her legs underneath her and positioned herself in the corner of the couch. It was Halloween night, and Lapis had found herself alone. Amethyst had invited her out to a party, but Lapis declined. Something about being surrounded by unknown people in an unfamiliar place made her feel uneasy. Usually, she would jump at the opportunity to get drunk or stoned but this year was different. Lapis hated to admit that she was afraid; afraid of what could be lurking in the shadows, ready to take advantage of her in an inebriated state. Even if she remained sober, she did not trust that anything would happen anymore. It was funny how she never considered that danger before. Lapis thought she would spend the night with Jasper, but she had other plans. She did not go into specifics, but Lapis assumed she was out with Pearl. Lapis did not want to be alone, so she asked Peridot if she could come over and hang out. Thankfully, she agreed.

“Don’t mention it,” Peridot replied, handing her a can of Coke before she sat down on the couch. There were no clothes or trash cluttering the apartment; it was spotless.  The television screen was frozen on a scene from Halloween Town.

“Hey, at least you’re not babysitting tonight.”

“Thank God. The kid I get stuck with is such a pain in the ass.” They both laughed. Lapis liked hanging out with Peridot. Since she was not ordered by Jasper this time, it made it a lot more casual and comfortable.

“Normally, I would go out with my friend, Amethyst, and we would get seriously wasted at some party…” Peridot made a slight door under her breath. She did not look over at Lapis as she reached for her hot tea. Lapis cocked an eyebrow at Peridot who sipped at her drink before she glanced over at Lapis. “What?”

“Try not to hide your disapproval,” Lapis replied, sarcastically. Okay. That was one thing that annoyed Lapis when she talked with Peridot. 

“Sorry. I just never got the appeal.”

“So, you are telling me you never drank when you were younger.”

“I’m not that old! I’m only 21 for Christ’s sake!” Lapis snorted, taking a sip of her soda. She kept forgetting that Peridot was only four years older than her.

“Well, you’re legal to drink now!”

“I still don’t get the appeal.”

“So, you’ve never been drunk?” She propped her elbow on the arm of the couch and rested her head on her hand. Peridot shook her head, setting her tea carefully back on the table.

“Even if I wanted, I never had time in high school to really socialize. I maintained a 4.0 GPA; I was valedictorian; president of the student council; I was in a band and a bunch of other clubs. In college, I…”

“Holy shit! Nerd!”

“Not exactly,” Peridot rolled her eyes. “My parents pushed me to work hard. I mean, at least I didn’t end up at some dead-end job or getting pregnant or dropping out of high school or something like that.”

“Hey! I account for one of those!” Lapis scoffed with her mouth open. She knew Peridot was not referring specifically to her but, she could not help be slightly insulted. Peridot’s features widened with alarm.

“No. I-I didn’t mean…aw fuck. Sorry, Lapis.” Lapis shrugged, nonchalantly.

“It’s fine, Peridot. I’m used to it. I was the complete opposite and bouncing from home to home didn’t help. At all. In one school, I’d be ahead and another I would be behind. Home life was not always great either. It is whatever, though.”

“Christ, Lapis. Somehow you manage to make me feel better and worse at the same time!”

“How so?”

“Well, I was fortunate to have a stable home and family despite the numerous problems we had but, damn, I can’t help be feel bad for you.”

“It is what it is, I guess,” Lapis muttered.

“Yeah.” They did not speak and just stared into different areas of the apartment. That had gotten heavy way too quickly. Lapis knew she did not have an ideal life. She managed, she survived, and she hated when people felt pity for her. Well, that had not been entirely accurate. She used pity when she asked for money on the streets, but that was necessary. Lapis cleared her throat and glanced over at Peridot. She was idly twirling a strand of her hair between her fingers, her focus on the collection of movies and games against the wall.

“Being drunk is fun until you have to deal with the hangover,” she said, hitching back to the original topic, trying to break the tense moment. Peridot looked over at her and let the piece of hair fall back into place on her neck. She blinked a couple of times, trying to process and reply accordingly.

“Yeah, I’ve seen it. My father would get drunk and the next day would be hell because of his hangover.”

“Ah. So, there is more to you not drinking.”

“A little.” Lapis thinned her lips, nodded and took a drink. Well, this keeps getting more awkward, Lapis thought. Another long silence encompassed the pair. Lapis did not know what else to say. They backed themselves into an uncomfortable corner in their conversation.

“Have you seen Halloween Town,” Peridot finally asked, briskly, picking up the remote.

“Nope.”

“Well, then, you are in luck. I own all of them!”

* * *

 

The rest of the evening got better after the strange exchange. Peridot had a few trick-or-treaters come to her door. Luckily, she had a couple of bags of candy prepared in case. A couple of kids scoffed at their lack of costume and Halloween spirit. Peridot grabbed a sheet and threw it over Lapis to give them something. One little girl, who seemed to be familiar with Peridot, asked if Lapis was her girlfriend. They both denied the claim which caused the little girl to laugh and persist. She was a girl, and she was her friend, she told them. Oh, kid logic. Lapis asked if she had a boyfriend and she hilariously replied: “Of course! I have a lot of them! Girls too!”

They watched two of the Halloween Towns, played a game and spent the rest of the time talking before Jasper asked where Lapis was. She took that as a cue it was time to head home. It was after midnight and Peridot was falling asleep on the couch. She was half asleep when she drove Lapis back home. At some point, she started talking about some video game character trick-or-treating and Camp Pining Hearts. Lapis had to laugh at Peridot. She said goodbye and told her to be careful driving back home. Peridot half acknowledged her with a yawn. Lapis walked to the entrance when she caught movement down the street. Someone was leaning against a light pole, watching her intently. When Peridot drove away, they pushed away and started toward her. She could not make out who it was, but Lapis did not stay to find out.

Her heart pounded as she dashed inside the apartments. The man who usually stood at the entrance was not there but whoever had been standing by the light walked by the entrance, shaking their head. Lapis released a shuddering breath and rested her hand on her chest. She was paranoid again. Collecting herself for falling over the brink of hysteria, Lapis headed up toward Jasper's suite. Her fingers massaged her forehead as tear pricked at the corners of her eyes. Would she ever feel normal again? She could not be outside without thinking someone was following her or her about to be attacked. She avoided going out on Halloween because she was afraid of what might happen. Lapis hated feeling so scared of her own shadow.

There was not too much time to dwell on it. When the doors of the elevator swung open, there stood Jasper’s mother. Her pale hair was free and sleek around her shoulders. She wore the same yellow overcoat that she had worn in the office. Her lips were lined in bright red, and her eyes were heavy with black eyeliner. Those amber eyes lit up when she saw Lapis, a deceivingly welcoming smile crossed her mouth. Lapis attempted to sidestep her and let her enter the elevator as she left. However, she did not move and the doors shut with a soft whoosh.

“Well, well, well,” she crooned, her long fingers gripping her narrow chin. “Where were you? Date? Client?”

“Shut up,” Lapis muttered. She was not in the mood to deal with this woman. She reeked of cigarettes and alcohol. "Goodbye, Miss Diamond."

“Call me Yelena, dear.” Her fingers snatched Lapis’s arm as she tried to brush passed her. Lapis glared, looking at the long nails that were digging into her arm.

“Let go of me.”

“Don’t be like that. I used to help change your diapers,” Yelena said with a sharp laugh, ignoring Lapis’s demand. “Your mother and I were awfully close. I was there when she gave birth. I helped her take care of you.”

“So? What do you want?”

“Oh, I got what I wanted," she smiled wickedly and glanced down the hall. "But, I just think we should be friends. We were practically family after all. And I am concerned about you being around my daughter."

“Key word: were. I don’t need your fucking concern. Let go of me!” She jammed her fingers between Yelena’s grip and her arm. The taller woman pulled her hand away, raising them in defense.

 "Alright. Alright, dear. I am just trying help." Lapis rubbed her arm. Pain vibrated up and down the area where Yelena's hand had been. The elevator pinged, and the doors swung open. No one was standing there. Jasper's mother flashed another smile. "Don't say I didn't warn you. Have a great night."

 Lapis pursed her lips, and her nostrils flared as Yelena slipped into the elevator. The doors closed and the machine whirled. What was that supposed to mean? Lapis wrinkled her nose in a scowl. When she entered the apartment, there was a sickening thud against the wall. Jasper was standing by her office, her fist against the wall. She was in a sleek black dress with a long slight up the leg, and her hair was curled elegantly around her shoulders. Pieces of paint rained down her closed hand, a spider web of cracks forming underneath the impact. Jasper cursed, pulled her hand away and gave it a shake. Lapis shut the door and approached her. Wide amber eyes looked at her as she cradled her injured hand in the other. Lapis wordlessly took it and examined the damage. Her knuckles were bloody and raw, which meant she had punched it more than once. It did not seem there was internal damage, but it was hard to tell.

“Where is your first aid,” Lapis asked coolly, not asking about the injury. She already knew though she was curious what Jasper’s mother had done to make her so furious.

“I’m fine.”

“Not what I asked. Where is your first aid?”

“Under the sink in the kitchen.”

“Go sit down,” Lapis ordered. Jasper opened her mouth to protest but, Lapis shot her a harsh look and went to the kitchen. She grabbed the kit, aspirin and a bottle of water from the fridge. Jasper was hunched on the couch, flexing her fingers. The cushions sunk underneath Lapis's weight as she pulled out some tape and bandages.

“What happened,” she asked, handing the aspirin and water to Jasper. She took it and gulped it down without a single breath. Jasper winced when Lapis gingerly patted her wounds with a sanitary pad.

“My mother.”

“Yeah, I saw her. What did she want?” Jasper sighed and shook her head, the fingers of her non-injured hand splayed against her head.

“To fucking blackmailing me.”

“What? With what?”

“She found something she should never have gotten a hold of and using it against me.”

“Like what?”

“It’s none of your damn business, Lapis,” Jasper snapped. Lapis pressed the alcohol swab harshly against one of the deep cuts in retaliation which caused Jasper to growl and yank her hand away. Annoyed, Lapis pulled it back and quickly went back to cleaning it. Jasper did not say anything; however, Lapis could feel her eyes boring into her. She did not dare look up and busied herself with tending to Jasper’s hand as her cheeks burned under her intense gaze. She tried to ignore the long stretch of exposed leg resting next to her. When Lapis finished with her work, Jasper’s hand looking like a mummy.

“Thanks.” Jasper flexed her fingers again, the white bandages straining over her muscles. “I don’t think it’s broken but, we will see. It hurts like a mother fucker.”

“Wall: 1. Jasper: 0.” Jasper scoffed.

“I need a drink. A good hard liquor and a blunt. Pearl would kill me. Actually, what does it matter? She is going to kill me anyway.” It took Lapis a moment to realize that Jasper was not talking to her but, to herself.  Pearl? Why would she be mad? Unless it had something to do with the business. Lapis did not say anything, opting to sit quietly and pack away the supplies. She was curious about what information Jasper’s mother could have on her. Lapis stood up to put away the first aid kit but, Jasper stopped her. Her good hand wrapped around her forearm, her amber eyes were cloudy and contemplative. She moved her mouth to speak, hesitated, then let go. Lapis shrugged it off though her mind was racing with ideas on what Yelena had on Jasper. When she came back, Jasper was lying on the couch with her arm draped over her head.

“Here,” Lapis said, hovering a glass of vodka and orange juice. She had made herself one too. Jasper thanked her and pulled herself up before taking the drink. They did not say anything. Lapis noticed that awkward silence seemed to be a theme for the night.

 "Did you have fun with Peridot? You two seem to hit it off." Her voice was low and unreadable. Lapis shrugged and took a sip from her glass.

“It was good. We just watched movies and handed out candy. One of the more tamer Halloweens I’ve had.”

“I understand that.”

“How was your night out with Pearl?”

“I wasn’t with Pearl tonight. She had other plans.”

“Oh?” Jasper did not offer an explanation. Instead she gulped down the orange juice and vodka. Lapis scowled. Jasper was not obligated to tell her who she was with or what Yelena had on her but it would have been nice to know. Why did she feel so annoyed? She sighed, looking down at her drink. Jasper got up and headed to the kitchen. Lapis could hear the clinking of glass on the counter. After a several minutes, Jasper reemerged.

“I’m going to bed,” she announced, clumsily. Her demeanor was more relaxed; her posture was languid. She leaned against the frame of the door with a lopsided grin, crossing her arms over her chest.  The strap of her dress falling over one shoulder, revealing cleavage. “Want to join me?”

“W-Wh-Wh,” Lapis stuttered. She could feel the heat rising heavily in her face. Was—did—oh my God. Her heart fluttered uncontrollably. Jasper laughed; a rich, amused and full-bodied laugh. She pushed the strap back into its proper place.

“I didn’t mean it that way, Lap. Damn!” Lapis felt her face heat for another reason. Jasper broke into another peal of laughter again, shaking her head, before retreating to her room. Her laughter was cut short as soon as she disappeared. Lapis heard Jasper muttering fumbling toward her room and cursing about something. Fuck. Lapis smacked her forehead for her blunder. Why would she even think that is what Jasper met? She chugged down her drink and headed to her room to attempt sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. This is far from canon since Lapis would be the older of the three. What are you going to do? 
> 
> There is no one main pairing at this point. ;D


	18. Birthday Preparations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in a day? Wow!

The tension was suffocating in the office on Monday. Jasper was not in a very tolerable mood, nursing a hangover in her office. It did not help that Pearl was loudly harping about Jasper’s reckless behavior. Lapis and Peridot could hear the shrieks coming from beyond the closed office door. Whenever the blackmail came up, her voice would sink low, muffled by the divide between them. Lapis kept glancing curiously at the door while Peridot just ignored it.

She had to give Peridot credit for not trying to eavesdrop on her bosses. Lapis sought to concentrate on her task but, her mind was wandered back to the previous night.

Again, Lapis found herself unable to sleep. It was a different type of insomnia that plagued her. Her thoughts and emotions were buzzed with adrenaline. She thought about Yelena and her warning about Jasper. Lapis knew she should not take the woman's advice seriously. She was trouble and danger herself. However, there was something off about Jasper that she could not put her finger on. Lapis still wondered why she had been so adamant about making amends. What could she have done? It did not help that Lapis was naturally attracted to her. It dawned on Lapis after her mistake about going to bed. It was wrong on so many levels. Not only was Jasper eight years older than her, but she would feel like her mother.

Pearl came out in a huff, slamming the door roughly behind her and disturbing Lapis’s thoughts. She wore a white blouse tucked into a pale pink pencil skirt. Her blue eyes fell on Lapis and her mouth thinned but, she did not say anything and stormed out.

“If looks could kill,” Peridot muttered. Lapis looked over at her, shocked. So, she was paying attention! Lapis smirked. It quickly dissolved when Jasper emerged from the office. She managed to look good and horrible at once. She wore black slacks with a gold blouse. Her hair rested on her shoulder in a simple braid, and her makeup carefully placed. However, there were circles under eyes that makeup could not hide and her features were weary and tense. Peridot glanced at Lapis, who was staring at Jasper. Jasper looked over at Lapis and offered a weak smile. 

“Hey, Blue. Are you still going out with your friend after work?”

“Uh, yeah. She’s picking me up after work.”

“Good. I’m out for the day. If I’m asleep when you get home, don’t wake me up,” Jasper grumbled. She gave Peridot a few instructions for the day and slumped out the door, leaving Peridot and Lapis alone. Immediately, Peridot stopped what she was doing and swung her chair toward Lapis.

“What was that about,” she asked, quietly.

“I’m not too sure, really,” Lapis lied. Well, she was not sure what it was completely about but, she did not feel right telling Peridot.

 "Well, both are in foul moods, so that might not be good for us. It's good Jasper went home. I think I can only handle one today." Lapis could not help but laugh. Just when she thought Peridot was so professional and proper, she surprised her. 

 "Hey! Do you want to come with my friend and me? I told you about her. Amethyst, ‘member?"

“What are you guys doing?”

“Just dinner. She’s gotta pick up her bro from their dad’s place afterward.”

“Sure. Why not? I got nothing better to do after work.”

“Hmm. I’m not sure if I should be offended by it.”

“Oh, yeah. You should,” Peridot joked, returning to work. The rest of the day was monotonous and peaceful. They worked diligently with minimal conversation. Pearl never returned to the office, which gave Peridot and Lapis some relief from her mood. By five, Amethyst texted Lapis saying she was waiting outside. Peridot closed the office while Lapis went to say hi to Amethyst. Amethyst sarcastically complimented Lapis’s new clothes and hair which Lapis retorted back with her own remarks. The banter continued until Peridot joined them and they decided to meet at a Chinese restaurant close by. Lapis rode with Amethyst so they could do a little catching up. Steven had filled her about Jasper and the last few months. The only thing that Lapis neglected to tell her was about nearly being raped. She was not ready for the reaction.

Peridot was waiting for them at the restaurant. Lapis did a more proper introduction, and they settled into the booth.  Amethyst had her seat while Lapis and Peridot shared the other side. After ordering their drinks and food, Amethyst and Peridot ended up discussing a video game they both played with heated intensity. Lapis sipped on her drink, listening with thoughtful amusement. She had played it a couple of times with Peridot, but she was not too familiar with the popular shooter. A prickling, icy feeling crawled up Lapis’s spine. Lapis adjusted her shoulders to brush away the shiver. Despite the coldness, Lapis felt the hotness of eyes on her back. She looked around to find the source but, she could not pinpoint anyone suspicious.

“Hey, that dude is staring at us,” Amethyst commented in the middle of Peridot’s sentence and pointed into an obscure direction. The two other girls whipped their heads around to locate him. “The dark-haired guy. Right there—no wait. He left.”

“Was he really staring,” Lapis asked, nervously. Amethyst nodded, taking a sip from her straw.

“Yeah. For a little while too.”

“That’s creepy,” Peridot said.

“Well, I can’t blame him. We _are_ three smoking hot girls," Amethyst grinned. They all laughed, but Lapis could not shake away that uneasy feeling that settled between her shoulders. Don’t think about it. People stare and they were being loud, Lapis told herself. She mentally started singing as panic bubbled in her chest. Luckily, the server brought their food, and she ignored the sensation for the hungry growl of her stomach. The three girls halted the conversation to fill their mouths with the hot food.

“So, three weeks until the big 1-8,” Amethyst said, her mouth full of noodles and sauce. In the corner of her eye, Lapis saw Peridot make a face.

“I haven’t really thought about it.”

“How ‘bout Funland?”

“Too cold,” Lapis objected.

“Funland Arcade?”

“No! I can’t stand that place.”

“Oh! I’ve got a great idea! How about that indoor waterpark we used to go to?”

“Funland Waterland?”

“Yeah, yeah. We used to go there every weekend when Lapis lived with the Blanchards,” Amethyst explained to Peridot. “Couldn’t get this girl out of the water! Used to call her Riptide Queen.”

“Riptide Queen. Sounds about right,” Peridot joked.

“Hey!”

“It’s a compliment, Lap!” Amethyst laughed.

“I’m going to call you Riptide Queen from now on,” Peridot said.

“RQ for short,” Amethyst offered. Peridot and Amethyst erupted into laughter. Lapis laughed with a roll of her eyes. She did not need another nickname.

“So, RQ. Waterland? Your birthday lands on a weekday, so I think we can do it the weekend after.”

“Sure. Sounds like a plan to me. Did you want to come, Peridot?”

“I’d have to check my calendar. It is so close to Thanksgiving and…”

“We can change the date,” Amethyst suggested with a shrug. “The more the merrier.”

“Oh, don’t do that on my account,” Peridot protested.

“I’d like if you came,” Lapis said. Pink rose in Peridot’s cheeks. Amethyst smacked her lips noisily, her fork dangling over her food as she looked between Peridot and Lapis. She was smirking knowingly. “You can always cancel. I’ll understand.”

“Okay. I’ll RSVP for now.” Lapis and Amethyst cheered. Clearing her throat, Amethyst reached for her purse and pulled out her phone. She muttered a curse and shoved the device back into her bag.

"I'm late picking up Steven. Here," she thrust a twenty at Lapis. "For my portion and part of the tip. I'll call ya later, and we can get the details sorted out, ‘kay?"

“Uh-huh. Tell Steven I said hi,” Lapis called after Amethyst as she rushed out the door.

“She is---um…”

“Are you actually trying to think of something nice?”

“I actually don’t know what to think of her! She is really, _really…_ ”

“Outspoken? Forward? Loud?”

"All of the above." Lapis and Peridot laughed together. She knew that Amethyst had natural charisma but, it was strong and loud. Though, Peridot and she had found common ground in their love for video games. Lapis was glad that they got along though she could not explain why Amethyst and Peridot getting along was important to her.

“So, what do you want for your birthday,” Peridot asked casually, clearing off the last bit of food from her plate.

"I feel like I've gotten enough, to be honest. I couldn't think of anything," Lapis confessed, moving around the remaining pieces of food on her plate with a fork.  "I'm really grateful for Jasper."

“But?”

“Why do you think there is a ‘but’?”

“A hunch.” Lapis shrugged.

“I'm still not sure about her motivations. I feel there is more to the story and she doesn't tell me. But I’m starting to trust her a little more.”

“That’s good. She seems like a good person.”

“I’m glad we became friends too,” Lapis blurted and turned her head to hide her warming cheeks. Damnit! Why did she say that?

“Me too,” Peridot replied thoughtfully. She cleared her throat, stirring her drink with her straw and changed the topic. “So, are you still planning on doing that program?”

"Oh, yeah. Like I said, I'm grateful for Jasper and all, but I want my independence. I just don't feel like I have that living _and_ working for her.”

"You still have a lot more freedom than you realize. I had loving parents, but they were very controlling."

“How so?” Peridot hesitated. She stared at her empty plate, scowling softly. I shouldn’t have asked, Lapis realized. However, Peridot cleared her throat again and turned toward her with focused green eyes.

"They chose what I wore, what I ate, what I studied, who I hung out with, how I wore my hair. I actually had very long hair for most of my childhood. I really didn't get a choice in anything in my life. Even in my teens. They loved me, but they had to be in absolute control," Peridot explained. Lapis's eyes widened. She could not begin to imagine being that restricted. One of her foster families had been strict but, not to a point where she could not even choose what she wore. Even if they had Peridot’s interest at heart, they took away her ability to control her life. Absolute dependence. Lapis was different. She learned early on to be independent. There was no one to make decisions for her. She made them herself for good or bad. For the most part, she took care of herself. Lapis mouthed a silent ‘wow’ and Peridot nodded solemnly with her lips pursed.

“It didn’t occur to me, until after my dad had a heart attack when I was 18 that, if something happened to my parents, I would have been fucked. Who would tell me what to do? My spouse? Tch. And I realized I did not want to live my life under someone's control. So, we might have different reasons and situations, but I get why you want your independence." Lapis grabbed her glass and lifted it up. Peridot looked at her confused.

"To independence," Lapis said. Peridot grinned and grabbed her glass. They clinked together the cups and took sips of the watered sodas. Finding common ground with Peridot was nice. Though she enjoyed hanging out with her and, while she was closer in age, Lapis felt this divide between them. Peridot’s accidentally snide comments never helped. They were getting along fine without having a connection. Yet, this new knowledge made Lapis feel closer to Peridot on a distinctive level.

“Well, looks like I’m taking you home,” Peridot interrupted Lapis’s thoughts. It took a moment for Lapis to comprehend what she had said. She looked around and remembered her ride had rushed off. Lapis cursed and threw Peridot an apologetic smile, and she laughed. They paid for their meals and headed out into the cold night.


	19. No Pity For The Wicked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is meh. I had it planned completely differently and it's shorter than planned.

“What smells good?” Jasper asked as she walked in the door. She shrugged the jacket off her shoulders and threw it onto the couch. Lapis dropped another piece of breaded chicken into the oil. It sizzled and popped loudly as the hot liquid browned the panko. She dusted the flour off her hands, brushing whatever lingered against her jeans. Jasper stepped into the kitchen and curiously peered over Lapis’s shoulder. Her breath tickled the back of Lapis’s neck, sending a shiver down her spine.

“Chicken. Bang Bang Chicken.”

“You can cook?”  

“Eh, sort of. When I lived with the Holdens, the mother was a chef. So, she taught me how to cook this because it was one of my favorites. That was before she found out she was pregnant and they decided they couldn’t foster a child _and_ have a baby.” Jasper winced and pulled away. She walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out a beer. Lapis dropped another piece into the oil, flipping over a few that had already browned on one side. Jasper leaned against cabinets as she took a drink.

“I’m sorry,” Jasper whispered. Lapis glanced over at her. She was staring intently at the brown glass bottle in her hand. Her brows furrowed; her amber eyes narrowed, and her lips pulled in a scowl.

“It’s whatever. Can’t change it.” Lapis shrugged, trying to sound casual as she plopped another chicken into the oil. She regretted bringing up her childhood. It always conjured pity and sorrow from others that Lapis never intended. “Not your fault anyway.”

“Yeah,” Jasper muttered, swishing the liquid inside the container.

“Anyway, I just thought I’d make dinner. A way to say thanks and stuff, “Lapis said, changing the subject.  “Plus, you’ve been stressed over your mom.”

“Oh, you noticed that, huh,” Jasper scoffed, gulping down the rest of her beer.

“Nah, just a hunch.” Lapis flashed a grin at Jasper but, the older woman did not return it. Her mouth thinned in a contemplative scowl, lost in deep thought. Lapis turned back to the chicken frying in the oil. Once the pan filled, Lapis worked on the sauce, whisking together sweet chili sauce, mayonnaise and honey. She busied herself with her meal as Jasper finished her beer and took out another one. They did not say anything to each other, the silence filled with the hissing and cracking of the hot oil.

Lapis had noticed that Jasper had been drinking a lot more the past week. She had consumed four six-packs since Monday; it was Friday. It was beginning to worry Lapis a little. It could not be good for Jasper's liver, and Lapis was surprised that all this drinking had not affected Jasper’s work. Though, Lapis had yet to see her get as drunk as that one night. Even if she was not getting drunk, Jasper seemed to be bordering on alcoholism. Or, maybe, she was trading another addiction for another. Jasper had mentioned dealing meth when she was younger. Lapis did not want to pry any further but, it left a sinking feeling in her gut.

When dinner was almost ready, Lapis set up the dining room. Usually, they would eat in the living room but, Lapis thought it would be a change to eat in there. Jasper had disappeared into her office to talk on the phone; Lapis assumed it was Pearl.  Lapis tried to make the plates look formal but, her attempt at presentation failed, and she gave up entirely. Hands on her hips, Lapis surveyed her work. She was proud of herself. It had been a while she made an actual meal. Normally it had been whatever she could keep her cooler or some cheap, microwaveable dinner. She called Jasper, sliding into a chair.

“Wow. I feel like I have a wife or something,” Jasper muttered, taking her seat.

 "I don't see a ring on this finger," Lapis laughed.  Jasper smiled for the first time that night. She scooped up some chicken, sauce, and rice, shoving it into her mouth. Lapis did the same, pleased over the perfect crunch of the chicken and the creamy sweet-spice of the sauce.

“It’s good,” Jasper approved in disbelief.

“What? Didn’t you believe I could cook?”

“Well, no.”

“Uh. Shun the nonbeliever!” Lapis pointed her fork toward Jasper, trying to make her face menacing and angry. It did not work because Jasper chuckled and shook her head. They quietly ate for a few minutes, enjoying the delicious food. It made Lapis wish she knew more recipes. Having dinner like this was nice. Jasper was halfway finished with her plate when she cleared her throat and shifted her eyes to Lapis. Lapis looked up, her fork hovering in front of her open mouth.

“What?”

 "I need to ask you something, and I need you to answer truthfully."

“Um, okay.” Jasper clasped her hands together, closing her eyes for a moment. A sinking sensation gripped Lapis’s stomach. The gravity in Jasper’s face was disconcerting.

“When my mom visited that one day, did you notice anything unusual?”

“Unusual? Like, how?”

“Anything suspicious.”

“Besides her?”

“Yes,” Jasper answered, flatly. Lapis cocked her head, trying to access the memory of that day. Nothing stood out in her mind except for Miss Diamond calling her a whore. Lapis shook her head.

“Nope.”

“What exactly happened,” Jasper insisted.

“She came in, got in Peridot’s face, scattered some papers on the floor then…”

“Papers. What papers?”

“I don’t know. Whatever Peridot was working on that day.” Jasper slammed her fist on the table causing Lapis to jump in her chair. Jasper pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. What was up with that reaction? Her mind rushed to search for an answer. Something popped in her head, lighting up her face with realization.

“D-does what your mom have on you have anything to do with the business?”

“Yeah.” Lapis took a moment to let that sink in. Oh, so it was illegal.

“Is Pearl involved?”

“Yes.” Well, that would make sense why Pearl was so furious about the blackmail. Lapis figured as much since Pearl would lower her voice whenever it was mentioned at work. So, she had been right about Jasper being involved in something illegal.  Though, Lapis was surprised that Pearl would also be implicated. She did not seem like the type.

 "I thought Pearl's mother owned it…"

“It was. It’s really complicated, Lapis, and I don’t want to get into it right now. My own mother is demanding 10K a month, or she rats us out. Pearl is livid because she will ruin her mother’s name. Not to mention the jail time both of us can be facing.” Lapis face pulled back in a grimace. She felt bad for Jasper but, at the same time, she was doing something wrong—whatever is was. Lapis hated to see her stressed but, it was only a matter of time before she was caught. Right? She was taking a big risk. Jasper continued, pushing away her empty plate and standing, “I’ll have to speak with Peridot tomorrow.”

“Huh? What? She isn’t in trouble, is she?”

“She might be,” Jasper grumbled in response.

“But, that’s not fair! She didn’t do anything.”

“My mother got ahold of important account information. It is a major violation of security.”

“For an illegal company?”

“The company isn’t illegal,” Jasper replied through gritted teeth. “Forget it. It’s still an issue that an actual client’s personal information was stolen.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jasper sighed. “Thanks for dinner, Lap. I’m going to head to bed.”

She collected her plate and silverware and headed into the kitchen. Lapis listen to the water run and the clatter of the dishes being put into the dishwasher before Jasper walked passed the dining room and shut the door to her bedroom. Lapis scowled, confused and uncomfortable. Did she just get Peridot in trouble? It was not her fault. Jasper could not blame her, could she? Lapis gathered her dishes and rinsed them off in the sink. She cleaned up the kitchen, her thoughts consumed with the new knowledge. Jasper and Pearl were involved with something illegal. Yelena must have known or suspected this if she purposely grabbed this valuable information. What kind of information, though? What could she have found? Now Peridot would be in trouble for doing her job. One that was conducting criminal activities.

 Lapis felt more sympathy for Peridot than she did for Jasper and Pearl. She worked hard for both, and it was an honest mistake. How was she supposed to know? Well, Jasper did say she took an actual client's information. Lapis slammed the door to the dishwasher shut. Maybe Jasper and Pearl deserved to be discovered. But…Lapis still felt a stab of pity for Jasper. It was her own mother causing her so much stress after all. And ten grand a month? That was ridiculous! Lapis could not begin to imagine that amount of money. She turned off the lights and retreated to her room. Mechanically, Lapis went through her night routine, drowning in unanswered questions.

If Jasper did not comply, what would that mean for the company? What would that mean for her and Peridot? Could they be considered accomplices? Or what about the other employees? Jasper and Pearl were not just risking their jobs but, many others as well. Lapis threw off her clothes, grabbed her cell phone and crawled into the cool lagoon of her sheets. She stared at the screen, contemplating texting Peridot. It seemed only fair that she warned her. After all, Lapis was the one who unintentionally snitched on her. She sighed and hooked the phone to her charger. No. It was possibly best not to get involved any further. What could Peridot even do? Lapis would just be stirring the pot and all it would accomplish is causing Peridot to stress and worry. At least, one of them could sleep tonight.   


	20. Sympathy Is Earned, Not Deserved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the wait for this update! It's been pretty hectic the past month: school, sickness and a bunch of other stuff. There is some drama coming soon, so I really want to get back to updating this fic regularly.

Lapis fidgeted in her chair as she glanced over at the closed door. Jasper and Pearl had called Peridot in a few minutes ago. She could hear the muffled sound of voices but, the words were hard to make out. The rise and fall of tones were her only clue to what was being said. Her stomach was in knots, and she could barely concentrate on her job. Exhaustion weighed down on her as she struggled to stay alert and focus. She had worried all night about Peridot and everything she had learned. It seemed unfair the company was doing something shady and they could all be held accountable.

 It seemed like hours when the door finally opened and Peridot stepped out. Her face was drawn tight, and her green eyes glistened. She sniffed, straightened her back and briskly returned to her seat without a word to Lapis. Her heart sank. Lapis was tempted to say something. She turned in her chair, opened her mouth and shut it again. Jasper stepped out, looking worn and tired. She was in simple black slacks and a white blouse. Her eyes flashed toward Lapis, who felt as if she was caught doing something wrong. Jasper shook her head and twirled her fingers to tell Lapis to turn around and return to work. Lapis wrinkled her nose and scowled. She bit her tongue and did as she was told.

The mood was so harsh that it seemed like the simplest sound would set off an explosion. Pearl remained confined to her office while Jasper hurried in and out on errands. Peridot did not speak to anyone and quietly did her work. When lunch came around, she was gone before Lapis had a chance to say anything. Lapis sat alone in the break room, staring blankly at the wall, nibbling on her food. When lunch ended, Peridot was already at her desk, typing intently. She did not even glance up at Lapis as she took her seat at the scanner. Did Peridot blame her for this, Lapis wondered.  Did Jasper or Pearl say something? Lapis tightly pressed her lips. She should apologize.

For what? Lapis took a moment to consider this as she fed another paper into the scanner. What was she apologizing for? She had told Jasper what happened but, it wasn’t like she had tried to get Peridot. Lapis hadn’t even known that is what occurred or it had anything to do with the blackmail. It seemed like a trivial event. And, maybe, Peridot didn’t even blame her. She could just be withdrawing for the day because she was in trouble. It was plausible but, it didn’t make Lapis feel any better. When the day ended, Peridot quickly packed up and rushed out of the office without a word. The burning guilt in her stomach grew hotter. Lapis pulled out her cell and stared at the screen. What could she say?

“Are you ready,” Jasper asked, causing Lapis to jerk. A flare of anger crackled through her body until she turned and looked at Jasper. A weak smile ghosted over Jasper’s lips. She looked tired and worn, subtle shadows gathered underneath her eyes. Her white hair fell loose around her broad shoulders that were slouched and defeated. Lapis wanted to entirely blame Jasper. Peridot did nothing but her job, and it was Jasper's illegal activities that got her into this mess.  Yet, the weary and exhaustion etched in Jasper’s features melted away her anger.

“Yeah,” Lapis muttered, shoving her phone into her purse. She powered down her computer and followed Jasper out of the office. The drive home was silent and awkward. Lapis stared out the window and watched the city pass by in a bright blur; her mind muddled with emotional overload. She wondered how Peridot was doing and what Jasper and Pearl had said to her. She thought about Jasper and how she traded one shady profession for another. Her life might have improved from the rundown house in the photo, but her morals were still questionable. Lapis was shocked that Pearl would go along with something that risky and illegal. Or, maybe, she was putting too much blame and responsibility on Jasper. It could have been Pearl’s idea for all she knew and Jasper just went along with it. Lapis was tempted to ask. Jasper would never give up that information willingly.

When they got to the apartment, Jasper immediately went to the fridge and grabbed a beer; Lapis went directly to her room. After undressing, Lapis collapsed onto her bed with her phone clutched in her hand. She slid the top up and ran her finger along the keys of the board. Should she? Would Peridot even reply? Lapis couldn’t stand another day of that tension filtering into the office. She wanted to know if Peridot was mad at her. With a deep breath, Lapis typed a simple ‘hey’ and hit send. A long groan escaped her throat, and she tossed the phone onto the pillow next to her. She watched the shadows dancing and twisting on the ceiling, her eyes heavy and sore. Sleep was creeping against the edges of her conscious; her eyelids were continuously obscuring her vision as her body tried to drift into slumber. Lapis's eyes snapped open at the loud buzz of her phone on the pillow. Eagerly, she snatched it up and read the message.

P: Hi

Lapis stared at the two-letter word, scowling. She tried typing a few different responses before settling on one, still sounding awkward.

L: Is everything okay?

P: No.

Before Lapis could respond, her phone rang in her hands. Peridot. Quickly, she answered.

“Hello?”

“Today was fucking awful! I nearly got fired, Lapis!”

“Oh,” Lapis responded dumbly. If Peridot noticed her lackluster response, she ignored it.

“It’s my goddamn fault. I messed up big time. I am super, fucking lucky that Jasper and Pearl did not fire me. That—that woman got a hold of a client’s information! How could I be so fucking stupid and blind?”

“It’s not your fault…”

 "It is, Lapis! You don't understand! She got a hold of someone's personal information because I was careless. Ugh. I had it out in plain sight where she could just grab it. Stupid, stupid.”

“Don’t beat yourself up. Everyone makes mistakes and…”

“Not like this! This is pure negligence. Miss Diamond could have stolen this person’s identity or accessed their accounts or sold their information. This person could have lost hundreds of thousands of dollars or have their life completely ruined. And Jasper and Pearl would be liable for it. I’m actually surprised they didn’t fucking fire me! Pearl would have if it weren't for Jasper! She saved my ass! I would have fired me! ” Lapis let Peridot rant for nearly an hour, occasionally interjecting, trying to offer words of comfort. She finally understood the severity of the situation and why Jasper was upset. It wasn't just that Yelena found out her secret but, that someone's information was compromised, and their life could've been derailed. As much as she hated to admit, Peridot did slip up, and Jasper was sympathetic enough to allow Peridot to keep her job.

Peridot apologized for talking so much and thanked her for listening. Lapis was just relieved that Peridot wasn’t mad at her. They said good night and Lapis laid on her bed, staring at the dark wall. Jasper wasn’t a bad person. Look at all she had done for her in the past couple of months. And she saved Peridot’s job. However, it was still hard for her to get over Jasper’s dishonesty.  That was the primary reason her and Pearl were upset. They were caught. That could potentially put everyone else at risk too, right? It might have been better for Peridot to be fired if that was the case. Lapis wasn’t sure. She scrambled out of bed and threw on an oversized shirt. Jasper was sitting in the living room, glowering at the wall with a glazed stare, sipping at her beer. Jasper turned her head slowly toward Lapis, half-hooded eyes sweeping over her. Wordlessly, Lapis settled next to Jasper, leaning against the back of the couch to face her.

 "What's up Blue," Jasper slurred.

“Will everyone else get in trouble if Yelena exposes your scheme?”

“No.”

“So, you didn’t save Peridot’s job so she could take the fall?” Jasper snorted.

“You really think of me as some sort of villain, don’t you?”

 "I don't know what to think. You are doing something wrong, and I'm looking out for myself and my friend."

“I’m not your friend?”

“You are but, you’re the one doing something stupid, so you kind of brought that on yourself.” A bitter smile curved Jasper’s lips as she pressed the bottle to her mouth.

“Fair enough.” Jasper lowered the bottle into her lap and absently rested a hand against Lapis’s knee. Heat rose in her cheeks. Jasper began to drunkenly ramble, “This was just meant to save the company. Pearl was close to bankruptcy and we needed more investors. High investments with little to no risk? Of course, that would attract people. We just needed new people, new money. It wasn’t meant to go this long…it went too far but, fuck, we were doing so well…no one was getting hurt…too close to the sun…”

“I don’t understand.” Jasper snorted, shaking her head.

“Don’t expect you to. Long story short…helped a friend, now I’m a criminal again.” She added with a snicker, “But, so is she.”

Jasper lurched forward, cradling her head in her hands, her shoulders shuddering. Lapis felt lost and conflicted. It was Jasper’s foolishness that caused this trouble. If they hadn’t resorted to illegal means…well, they wouldn’t have jobs. They might believe they weren’t hurting anyone but, that wasn’t always true. There were others involved. The employees and the clients. Someone had to be getting hurt. And if Peridot hadn’t been thoughtless, would they have ever stopped? It didn’t sound like it. Her head throbbed as she tried to wrap her thoughts around it. Lapis couldn’t figure out if she sympathized with Jasper or not. She just hated to see her upset. Despite her inner turmoil, she embraced Jasper, wrapping her arms around the shaking woman, burying her face into her shoulder. That was all she could think to do.


	21. A Little Too Much

“Happy birthday, Lapis,” Steven shouted, tightly embracing her. Lapis laughed, returning his enthusiastic hug. He was in a pair of red swim trunks adorned with yellow stars. The humidity in the air fluffed up his curly locks even more than usual. Amethyst was setting a pile of towels on one of the benches. Her hair was piled up in a loose, braided bun on her head and she was wearing a black one-piece. The air smelled of chlorine and fried food with the subtle perfume of alcohol; laughter and lapping water echoed against the walls. It brought back fond memories for Lapis.

Funland Waterland was a large indoor waterpark with a playground, five different slides, a lazy river, a pool with hoops and two hot tubs. Lapis, Steven, and Amethyst would spend hours at Waterland when the weather was too cold to go to the beach. Their favorite thing to do was go down the three bigger slides as many times as they could. Excitement curled in Lapis’s stomach, eager to get into the water and enjoy her birthday. She could forget all the stress and tension from work for the day and just have fun. Lapis and Steven walked over to Amethyst; the short girl gave Lapis a large, crushing hug. 

“Well, ya made it to 18,” she joked, patting her back. Lapis grinned, playfully punching Amethyst’s shoulder.

“Did you have any doubt?”

“Eh, maybe a little,” Amethyst teased. Lapis laughed, setting her stuff next to Steven and Amethyst’s. She glanced through the crowd to see if she could find Peridot. After everything that happened, Peridot had declined her invitation. It took Lapis a lot of pleading and begging to convince Peridot to come today. She hoped that Peridot didn’t back out at the last minute. Jasper couldn’t come which made things less awkward. She promised Lapis she had her own birthday surprise planned

Lapis spotted Peridot at the entrance. She waved enthusiastically and called her over. Amethyst snickered, shaking her head; Steven grinned. Lapis shot them each a dirty look. Peridot approached the trio, a strange, strained look on her flushed face. She was wearing a bright green tankini and matching boy shorts. Her hair was pushed back with a forest green headband. She looked great in her swimsuit. Lapis felt the heat rise in her cheeks.  Peridot gave Lapis a quick, awkward hug and politely greeted Amethyst. Steven introduced himself, thrusting his hand toward Peridot. She took it and gently shook his hand. Steven nearly knocked her down with his fervent handshake. 

“This place is cool,” Peridot complimented, setting her towel on a chair. Lapis nodded, eagerly, putting her hands on her hips and glanced around the park.

“It _is_ awesome. You must go down the slides with us! Our record is 237,” Lapis boasted. Peridot smiled, trying to avoid looking directly at Lapis.

“Maybe. We will see. I might just relax in the hot tub for now.”

“Oh, okay.” Lapis forced her smile to stay plastered on her face. She didn’t understand why Peridot was acting so strange. Her whole demeanor was standoffish and uncomfortable like she would rather be anywhere but here. Maybe she shouldn’t have forced her to come. Steven pulled at her arm and dragged her to the slides. Lapis tried to reason away the guilt building in her chest. It’s a new place with new people. Or she might be uncomfortable wearing a swimsuit. There were several different possibilities for her behavior. It didn’t mean it was Lapis. Maybe she will relax more as the day went on. She tried to remain hopeful and focus on having fun.

* * *

 

“Come on,” Lapis encouraged, yanking on Peridot’s arm. Much to Lapis’s relief, Peridot finally joined her, Amethyst and Steven after a couple of hours. They relaxed in the lazy river, played basketball and goofed around on the playground. Lapis was now attempting to drag Peridot to one of the big slides. Peridot's eyes traveled up the stairs, broad and nervous. Her lips were pressed tightly together.

“I really don’t…”

“One time, okay? For me? It is my birthday after all.”

“Technically, your birthday was a few days ago,” Peridot disputed.

“We are celebrating today! Come on. I promise it will be fun!” Peridot relented with a sigh; Lapis grinned triumphantly and pulled her toward the stairs. There was a short wait for the tamer slide. Lapis figured she should start off easy since Peridot seemed uncertain about riding down. Peridot gripped at the railing, looking rather sickly and keeping her gaze on the steps. Lapis kept her hand on Peridot’s arm, helping her up the wooden stairs and silently encouraging her to continue.

“You know. I always wished I was taller but, I’m afraid of height,” Peridot quipped with a soft, bitter chuckle.

"Well, there is a big difference between a few feet and a few hundred feet though," Lapis mused absently, looking down at the pools and the floor below. The blonde's face paled. Lapis bit her lip and muttered an apology. When they finally reached the top, the attendant placed an inner tube into the water and waved them over. Peridot settled into the back while Lapis flopped down in the front. The green light went off, and the attendant pushed them down the rushing water. Lapis laughed as the tube rocked against the edge of the slide and sped through the green pipe. Behind her, she could hear Peridot screaming and laughing at the same time.  The slide opened into the pool, and they hit the water with a hard splash. Lapis jumped out and helped a struggling Peridot. They picked up the inner tube and exited the pool, laughing.

“Okay, despite the climb of terror, that was fun,” Peridot admitted.

“Well, then we have to try the other two,” Lapis grinned, mischievously. Peridot and Lapis rode down the slides together several more times, sometimes racing Steven and Amethyst. Or it was Steven and Lapis versus Amethyst and Peridot. All the stress from the past few weeks was washed away by the chlorinated water and the fits of laughter. Water and friends. They brought Lapis back to the good parts of her childhood. These were the memories she cherished. She was happy to spend time with Steven and Amethyst. And Peridot. Lapis was delighted that she came today. It was nice to see her laugh and have fun too. Jasper crossed her mind as they floated around the lazy river. Lapis was grateful for her; she felt lucky Jasper came into her life despite everything that happened and all the drama. She wished Jasper could have come, but it would be nice for just the two of them to spend time together. It had become rare for them to get a moment together even if it was just relaxing and watching TV.

Before leaving for Amethyst’s place, the four of them warmed up in the hot tub. They hadn't beaten their record going down the slides but, Lapis didn’t care. Today was excellent. She couldn’t wait to get to Amethyst’s to open her gifts and eat. When Peridot excused herself to use the restroom and Steven followed, Amethyst stopped mid-conversation, and a huge grin broke across her face. Lapis didn't like the mischief shining in her eyes.

“You have such a crush on her,” Amethyst declared.

“Wh-wh-I-I do not,” Lapis denied, her face burning up. She knew it wasn’t because of the water. Amethyst smile grew larger.

“Uh-huh. Well, that’s too bad. I think she likes you too.”

“N-n-no. Wh-why do you say that?”

“Why do you care?”

“I-I don’t…I’m curious why you-you would think that.”

“Oh, just intuition. Don't you have a crush on that Jasper woman too?"

“WHAT! No,” Lapis exclaimed, her body now boiling. She sunk down on the stone step. All she wanted to do was disappear into the water and never resurface. Amethyst roared; Lapis glared. She did not have a crush on either Peridot or Jasper! Peridot was a friend, and Jasper was---well---Lapis wasn't quite sure what Jasper was to her. She was more than a friend and, yes, Lapis found herself attracted to her, but nothing romantic! Lapis had no chance with Jasper even if she imagined it. Amethyst pointed two fingers at her eyes then at Lapis.

“I see right through you, RQ. You are nothing but a horny teenager.” Lapis splashed water at Amethyst’s face, earning herself a reprimand from a lifeguard who happened to pass by. She groaned, ducking underneath the hot water and drowning out another roar of laughter from Amethyst. When Steven and Peridot returned, they packed up their stuff and headed to Amethyst’s place with Peridot followed behind in her car. Lapis, Steven and Amethyst arrived first. Steven pulled out a lovely cake with blue gems and flowers on the top and the words: Happy 18th Lapis! It was strawberry with chocolate frosting, one of her favorites. Amethyst ordered a pizza and a few minutes later, Peridot knocked on the door.

“I lost you guys for a bit,” she laughed, embarrassed. Amethyst offered her a beer but, she turned it down. “Lapis, I’m sorry, I forgot your gift at my place. We can swing by before I drop you off if you want.”

“Sure,” Lapis nodded, drinking her beer. Peridot didn’t hide her distaste for Lapis’s alcohol consumption but, she said anything. They enjoyed pizza and cake while they watched Lil Butler. Lapis and Amethyst turned the show into a drinking game, taking shots of rum and flavored vodka. She could feel the alcohol course through her system. It had been a while since she had gotten drunk. The sluggish bliss produced by the alcohol was a welcome feeling. Peridot and Amethyst played a few rounds of some video game while Lapis drank and talked with Steven about school and life. Before they left, Lapis opened her gifts. Steven got her a book about the ocean and Amethyst gave her a dime-bag of weed. Lapis thought it was hilarious though Peridot was not amused.

“I better not get caught with that shit,” she warned. After thanking Steven and Amethyst, Lapis and Peridot said goodbye and headed back to Beach City. Peridot didn’t say much while Lapis rambled about how much she had fun and whatever little thing popped into her head. Part of it was drunkenness; part of it was nerves. She did not have a crush on Peridot. She was just a good friend. Peridot stopped at her place to grab Lapis’s present. She invited Lapis to sober up before she dropped her at home. Though she knew Jasper wouldn’t mind, Lapis agreed. As usual, Peridot’s apartment was a mess. It looked as though she hadn’t cleaned in weeks. She gave Lapis an apologetic look, quickly plucking the clothes off the couch and tossing them into her room. Lapis didn’t mind. The chaos of the apartment reminded her that Peridot wasn’t as proper as she seemed.

Once the couch was clean, Lapis collapsed on it, resting her head back. The effects of the alcohol were slowly beginning to fade. Peridot sat next to her and placed a small box in her hands. It was wrapped in shiny wrapping paper and topped with a matching bow. Lapis tore into the silky paper and peered into the sleek black box. Her mouth dropped open at the piece of jewelry nestled in the black velvet. It was a necklace with a teardrop-shaped lapis lazuli on a silver chain. The gem was about as big as her thumb. It wasn't anything too fancy, but Lapis thought it was one of the most beautiful things she had seen. One of the nicest if she didn't count the weed in her pocket. 

“I hope it isn’t too fancy. I saw it and thought it would be perfect,” Peridot explained.

“No. I love it!” Lapis flung her arms around Peridot’s neck. She felt Peridot wrap her arms around her waist, returning the embrace.

“Well, I’m glad you like it,” she laughed. Was Amethyst right about Peridot? This was way too nice of a gift for a friend, wasn't it? Pulling her head back, Lapis searched Peridot’s eyes for an answer. Her head spun with alcohol and hormones. The smile faded from Peridot’s lips; her green eyes locked on Lapis’s. Time ticked by slowly. Lapis leaned forward, closing her eyes and pressing her lips against Peridot's before her impaired mind could register what she was doing. Peridot's fingers tightly gripped her shirt, and her mouth moved in response. Peridot's tongue slipped passed her slightly parted lips, and Lapis welcomed it with a caress of her own. Warm fingers slithered under Lapis’s shirt and skirted against her bare back. Peridot pulled her closer until Lapis was nearly on top of her. Her hands traced along the bottom of Lapis's bikini top right under the curve of her breasts. Lapis gasped. Suddenly the shorter girl jerked and yanked herself away from Lapis. Her green eyes widened in horror.

"Oh, my God," she squeaked, shoving Lapis off her. Lapis fell onto the floor with a hard flood. "I'm so sorry!"

“It’s okay. I’m fine,” Lapis groaned as Peridot helped her up. She couldn’t bring herself to look up at Peridot as she rubbed her sore behind. Stupid. Stupid.

“I can’t believe I did that. I’m so sorry, Lapis!"

“Why? I should be apologizing…”

“No, no. You're drunk, and you don't know what you are doing. I should have stopped it the moment you kissed me.” That was a pretty weak excuse. Lapis was more aware of herself than Peridot realized. She could feel tears well in her eyes and her face burn red. Blushing seemed to be a pretty common occurrence today.

“But…” Peridot interrupted, shaking her head.

“No buts. I’m really sorry, Lapis. That was extremely wrong of me to make out with someone who is underage and…”

“I’m not underage,” Lapis retorted, defiantly. “I’m 18.”

“You just turned 18, Lapis. That doesn’t give me any right to—to…”

“But, I kissed you first.”

“And I should have stopped it right there not—not kiss you back and shove my hand up your shirt.”

“It's fine…”

“No, it wasn’t!” Lapis’s gaze fell to her feet, feeling nauseous and light-headed, shame coiling in her chest. She was the one who kissed Peridot. This was her fault yet Peridot was taking all the blame. It wasn’t illegal. It certainly didn’t feel wrong. Peridot made it seem like they committed the biggest crime imaginable. It could be the booze, but Lapis was struggling to understand why she was so upset. Shouldn’t she be the one embarrassed and guilty? No matter what Lapis did or said, Peridot wouldn’t listen to her, choosing to shoulder all the responsibility.

Peridot didn’t say anything when she drove Lapis home, lost completely in thought. The whole ordeal had a sobering effect on Lapis and she stared miserably out the window. This was not how she wanted her birthday to end. How could she be so stupid? Why did she even do that? Peridot stopped in front of Jasper's apartment, parking the car. They sat silently for a moment, Lapis clutching Peridot's gift in her hand. Peridot focused her attention outside her window, taking a deep breath before speaking, her voice solemn and tight.

“I think—I think we shouldn’t hang out for a little while.” Lapis’s head whipped around, her mouth dropping open.

“Wh-what? Why?”

“I think it’s for the best, Lapis. It’s just getting too…complicated.” Complicated? Peridot didn’t even bother to look at her, gripping at the steering wheel until her knuckles were white. Pain gripped at Lapis's chest, yanking at her heart. Tears trickled down her cheeks as she took in a shuddering breath. The air in the car suddenly became unbearablely thick and heated.  She didn’t know what to say. Peridot had apparently made up her mind. Lapis threw open the door, scrambling to get out into the fresh air. She slammed the door behind her, racing into the building, avoiding looking back. Thankfully, Jasper wasn't home when she entered. Lapis rushed to her room, throwing herself onto the bed. She just lost her friend, and it was all her fault. And she would have to face her at work as if nothing happened. Lapis screamed into her pillow. She needed a smoke.


	22. Nuclear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So this chapter is one of my longest yet. It would have been longer, but I decided to cut it 'short'. I've been anxious to get to this for a while now. It is pretty intense.

Work was a powder keg of tension a week after Lapis’s birthday. Everyone was on edge. Jasper and Pearl were still stressing over the blackmail while Peridot avoided Lapis at all costs. It was nothing but misery for Lapis and the negativity was inescapable. Regret and shame clung to her like smoke, seeping into her clothes and skin, making her feel unclean. Every time she looked over at Peridot, her chest clenched and her heart ached. She really had screwed up. Lapis had made mistakes in her life but, nothing hurt as much as this. She lost a good friend. When Friday came, it was a welcoming relief. The weekend gave her a chance to recoup, and she would finally get her birthday surprise from Jasper.

Jasper wouldn’t give Lapis any hints to the surprise though she seemed equally anxious and excited about it. All Lapis knew what she had planned the entire Saturday for just the two of them. Lapis wanted to be excited for tomorrow. She was eager to find out the big surprise; however, she struggled to maintain her enthusiasm. All she could think about was Peridot and that stupid kiss, and she spiraled back into despair. Jasper did her best to bring Lapis out of her despondent mood. It was thoughtful of her to focus on Lapis despite all her problems. It just made Lapis feel guiltier. Her issues were trivial compared to Jasper’s. However, Jasper reprimanded her for thinking that way. All she wanted was Lapis to enjoy the day—for both to enjoy it.

“Wake up, Blue,” Jasper coaxed on Saturday morning. Lapis groaned, swatting her away and curling deeper into her blankets. _I’m not coming out. I’m going wrap myself into a warm, safe cocoon of bedding and not emerge until I’m twenty-one or a butterfly_. Jasper laughed, “Did you really just say that?”

“Huh,” Lapis rolled over, giving Jasper a confused look. She was grinning wildly, flashing her white teeth. “Say what?”

“Oh, nothing, butterfly,” Jasper teased, yanking away the sheets and comforter, cold air brushing along Lapis’s body. She curled tightly, trying to prevent the heat from escaping into the open. Jasper traced her fingers against the exposed bottom of Lapis’s foot. Instinctively, her leg recoiled and collided into Jasper’s stomach. She barely flinched at the impact, leaning forward and pulling Lapis into a sitting position. Lapis moaned, running her hand through her unruly, tangled hair, glaring at Jasper with half-hooded eyes. Her glower was gracefully ignored as Jasper rummaged through her drawers. Without warning, a shirt flew into Lapis’s face followed by a pair of jeans. Luckily, Lapis caught the pants before they struck her face.

“You’ve got 10 minutes, butterfly.”

“Butterfly? What happened to Blue,” Lapis asked, inspecting the shirt, a purple long-sleeved turtleneck with the shoulders cut out. Not a bad choice, Lapis admired.

 "Blue Butterfly," Jasper added before leaving the room. Lapis rolled her eyes and shimmied on the shirt. Where did this butterfly shit come from? Quickly, Lapis pulled on the dark blue jeans and a pair of sneakers.  She washed her face and ran a brush through her hair, mindless watching her image in the mirror. Lapis barely recognized herself. The lack of sleep and the days of crying were etched in her eyes and the corners of her mouth. She looked older, weary. Lapis wrinkled her nose at her reflection. Was this what it was like being an adult? If it was, she didn’t want to get any older. She stuck out her tongue before heading toward the kitchen. Jasper immediately handed Lapis a cup of coffee and a bagel.

“We got a busy day,” Jasper informed her, smiling. Her hair was loose around her shoulders, and she was wearing a black turtleneck over dark jeans. Lapis took a bite of the bagel, her face lighting up.  

“Are these?”

“Yup.” Lapis laughed. It had been ages since she had one of these.

“Is this my surprise?”

“Nope. I just thought it would be a good way to start off the day.” Lapis nodded in affirmation, her mouth filled with bread and cream cheese. She washed it down with the black coffee. This was an excellent way to start out the day. It was strange to think that these bagels started everything. Once they finished their breakfast, Lapis and Jasper headed out the door. No matter how many times Lapis asked where they were going, Jasper kept her smiling lips sealed. Lapis was genuinely excited to see what Jasper had planned, the anticipation temporarily melting away her melancholy. She resolved not think of Peridot or the kiss and enjoy the day. It seemed she was doing that a lot lately. Don’t think about it, move on. Growing up really did suck, Lapis mused ruefully.

They arrived at the Delmarva Aquarium, pulling into the crowded parking lot. Lapis beamed, her face splitting into a broad grin. She had been to the aquarium once when she was little. Lapis was sure she had been with her first foster family at that time. She didn’t remember much, but something about the aquarium remained with her. It had been an amazing experience to feel like she was under the water with the fishes and other aquatic life.  She had been so transfixed by the ambiance of the ocean, Lapis remembered she had to be carried out kicking and screaming because she didn’t want to leave. There was something special about it, sacred. For years, all she wanted to do was go back to that wonderful place, but it never happened. She was amazed that Jasper chose this place. Had she mentioned it to her before? Lapis wasn’t sure. When Jasper slid out of the car, Lapis hugged her. Jasper laughed, patting her back.

Walking into the aquarium, Lapis’s heart fluttered against her chest as excitement stole through her limbs. Lapis dragged Jasper through the underwater tunnel, grinning wildly. Fish and sharks and other sea life swam above them; colorful plants dotted the ground and massive rock formations that stretched deep within the water. Lapis pointed out the stingrays and sharks and various fish while Jasper laughed at her enthusiasm. There was something so familiar about everything. It was more than the beauty of the aquarium; it was something that Lapis couldn’t put her finger on. They emerged from the tunnel into an enormous, softly lit room with different exhibits and various sized aquariums including once large one in the middle. The room was cast in calming blues and subtle greens and faint shimmering lights. It was magical yet heart-rending, a bitter sadness mixed with unadulterated exhilaration.

Lapis and Jasper explored the exhibits and admired all the sea life. The tug-and-pull of Lapis’s emotions never settled as they made their way through the aquarium; however, she still enjoyed her time with Jasper. It had been a while since they were able to just talk and reconnect. There was obviously a bond between them, and Lapis liked that they could strengthen it. It was such a change from when they first met. Around noon, they sat down and enjoyed lunch by one of the windows. A curious octopus was lazily watching them, its tentacles pressed against the glass. Lapis observed all the people walking around the area. There was a mother with her daughter not too far from where they were sitting. The little girl enjoyed an ice cream cone while her mother fussed over the mess. Lapis scrunched her nose, a pressed smile on her lips. Why was that bothering her?  A warm hand gripped hers and snapped her back to reality.

 "You okay," Jasper asked her voice heavy with concern. Lapis nodded.

“Yeah. I’m all right."

“Are you sure?”

“I haven’t been here since I was little. It is still amazing,” Lapis briskly changed the subject. Jasper studied her intently, but Lapis continued with her avoidance. “This is a wonderful surprise.”

“Oh, this is only part of it.”

“Really?” Jasper nodded in confirmation, her brows knitted and her mouth tight. Lapis took a bite of her meal, curious about the expression on Jasper’s face. She didn’t look happy, she looked nervous.

“Well, you don’t look too thrilled about it,” she commented.

“I’m just hoping you like it,” Jasper answered, quietly.

“If it’s anything like this, I think you are good.” Jasper forced a laugh, sipping at her soda.

“Well, now that you’re 18, I have to ask what your plans are? Are you still doing that transition program?” This was something Lapis had thought long and hard about for weeks. She weighed her pros and cons for both options. It was a tough decision, but she felt confident in her choice.

“If it’s okay, I’d like to stay with you. You know, as long as you don’t go to jail.”

“Hahaha,” Jasper responded sarcastically. “I’d love you for you to stay with me.” Lapis grinned. They had stayed for a few more hours before Jasper dragged Lapis away to get ready for their dinner reservation. She didn’t have to be carried out kicking and screaming this time, but she sure came close.

* * *

 

 

“You look beautiful,” Jasper praised, breathlessly. Lapis beamed, her cheeks flushed. She was wearing a sleeveless gold dress that flared from the sash around her waist. The hem skimmed at her knees, revealing her freshly shaved legs and simple gold heels. Besides the few gold bangles bracelets on her wrists, Lapis didn't wear any jewelry. She didn't have anything else besides the necklace that Peridot had given her. Her hair was sleeked and shiny from the amount of product in it. She had put on a little make-up, opting to go for a more natural look. Jasper gaped at her, blinking excessively.

“You look amazing as usual,” Lapis complimented. Jasper had on a classic black dress that accentuated every curve of her body. Platinum hair cascaded over her bare shoulders like the foam from a waterfall. She wore a modest diamond necklace with matching earrings.  Her make-up was impeccable; the black liner caused her amber eyes pop and the dark red on her lips highlighted their fullness. Lapis felt plain next to how glamourous Jasper looked. Jasper cleared her throat and shook her head as if trying to wake herself out of a daze.

“Ready?”

“Uh-huh.” Lapis grabbed the gold wristlet from the counter, threw on her jacket and followed Jasper out. It was strange to be so formally dressed. She would have been satisfied with dinner at home or take out; however, Jasper insisted on this fancy restaurant. She felt Lapis needed one night of elegance in her life. Lapis had to admit she felt like a movie star or a princess. The drive was quiet. Jasper seemed distracted, drumming her nails against the steering wheel. Lapis couldn't figure out what was making Jasper so nervous. Maybe she is going to propose, a mocking voice suggested. Now, why would she do that, another voice reasoned. Lapis's stomach tightened. No. No. She was stupid. It made no sense. Jasper was eight years older than her, and they hadn't known each other long.

 When they arrived at the restaurant, Jasper helped Lapis out of the car and handed the valet the keys. There were a lot of fancy dressed people coming in and out of the building. The knot of nerves and anticipation squeezed in Lapis's stomach. She had never been anywhere so lavish. Jasper coiled her arm around hers and wrapped her fingers tightly around her hand. Her palms were unusually sweaty, and Lapis could feel the tension in the small muscles. Jasper spoke with the hostess as Lapis gazed around the room. There were rows of round tables with white tablecloths draped over them and beautiful centerpieces in the middle. Someone was playing piano in the distance. The servers were prim and proper and dressed in stark black and white as the ambled around to the guests. Lapis was in absolute awe as they were lead to their table.

 She was so struck by the elegance of the restaurant that she failed to notice they were being guided to a table that was already occupied. A slim, dark-haired woman glanced around anxiously, searching the crowds. When her eyes fell on Lapis and Jasper, her face lit up and her thin lips curled in a smile. It took Lapis a moment to register what was happening. She knew the woman. It had been years since she had seen her, but it was undeniably her. Lapis froze, refusing to move any further.  Jasper gently tugged on her arm. It felt like the air in her lungs was knocked out of her. Her chest heaved as she tried to maintain some level of composure. She wanted to scream or strike out. Lapis shook her head, trying to pull away from Jasper. Why was she here?

“Don’t make a scene,” Jasper whispered, holding her firmly in place.

“Fuck you,” Lapis hissed, venomously. “You said no more bombs! This is a goddamn nuke!”

“I said I may have more. I didn’t want you to run when you heard it coming. You need this.”

“You don’t know what I need,” Lapis bit back, but let Jasper lead her to the table. She felt tricked, betrayed and the temptation to cause a scene was powerful. This was the last person she wanted to see. Her mother rose when the drew close and eagerly reached out to embrace her daughter. Lapis sidestepped her, yanking away from Jasper and crossing her arms over her chest.  Dia lowered her eyes, nodding solemnly.

“I guess I should expect that,” she said, softly. She looked as if she tried to dress as nicely as possible, but it still looked informal compared to the setting. Her long blue dress was old and worn with long sleeves and a slightly low neck. The host pulled out the chairs for Lapis and Jasper. Jasper took her seat while Lapis stood, her hands clenched at her sides, contemplating what to do. There was a lump in her throat she couldn't swallow, and her chest ached. She could storm out or sit or throw herself at her mother and cry. Lapis took three deep breaths, inhaling through her nose and out her mouth. Dia and Jasper watched her, waiting. Even the host was looking at her curiously. Finally, Lapis removed her jacket and took her seat, avoiding eye contact with either of them. The host took their drink orders. Jasper ordered wine; Dia requested water; Lapis wanted nothing.

No one said anything for a while. Lapis listened to the clink of silverware and the murmur of conversation around them. Her hands were balled into fists in her lap. She focused on the pristine plate in front of her as her vision blurred. Quickly, she peeked up to steal of a glimpse at her mom. She looked almost the same as her picture except for the strands of gray speckled through her hair and the wrinkles sketched across her face, creasing at her eyes and her mouth. She was still beautiful. Dia caught her gaze, giving her a small smile. Lapis scowled, looking away. No. This was the woman who abandoned her at the park. The woman who chose drugs over her own child. This wasn't her mother. She was a stranger. Then, why did she feel like all she wanted was her?

“You look so beautiful, Lapis,” her mother spoke with a quivering voice. “I can’t believe how much you have grown.”

“She is quite a woman,” Jasper added, almost prideful.

“I bet she is.” Lapis didn’t say anything. She was afraid of what might come out of her mouth. Jasper and Dia continued to talk, waiting for Lapis to warm up. Jasper rested a caring hand on Lapis’s leg which she jerked away. Typically, Lapis would be flustered by the intimate touch, now it annoyed her. How could Jasper spring this on her? Why did she think this was a good surprise? A logical voice answered _because you know you want your mom._ Lapis ignored it. Her mom hadn’t wanted her; why would she want her mom? The server came to placed bread on their table and collect their orders. Again, Lapis didn’t order anything, her appetite gone. Dia reached for a piece of bread, smearing some sweet-smelling butter on it.

 "Did you enjoy the aquarium, Lapis?" It was an apparent attempt to connect with her. "I know you loved in when you were little."

“How would you know? You weren’t even there,” Lapis snapped. Dia tilted her head, confused.

“I was the one who took you to the aquarium, honey.”

 "No. It was my first foster family. You were in prison." A grim, tight smile touched Dia's lips. Jasper cleared her throat but said nothing. She looked uncomfortable. 

“We went when you were five, just a little before what happened. You loved it so much, you wouldn’t leave, and I had to carry you out. All you did was kick and scream and tell me you wanted to live in the ocean.” She chuckled, shaking her head and taking a bite of the bread. Her face fell, swallowing hard. “That was the last thing we did together.”

“Your mom suggested the aquarium,” Jasper offered.

“So? You-you remembered one thing and—what?—that makes up for everything? Am I supposed to suddenly forgive you and everything will be okay?”

“No, no. That’s not what I’m expecting at all, Lapis. I know you are hurt and angry and this will take time. I just want a relationship with you. I understand how you are feeling. I've been there. It took me years to forgive Jasper, and she wasn't the one I needed to blame. It was my fault…"

“What do you mean ‘years to forgive Jasper’?” Lapis interrupted in a flat, toxic tone. She looked over at Jasper who was holding her hand over her mouth, her eyes closed. Dia followed her gaze and cocked her head.

“She doesn’t know,” Dia asked, softly. Jasper shook her head, taking a deep breath.

“Know what?” Lapis slammed her hands on the tabletop causing the plates and silverware to tremble noisily. A few heads turned in their direction. “Damnit. Stop keeping things for me!”

“Calm down, Lapis,” Jasper warned through gritted teeth, looking distressed and tense. It only served to rile Lapis up even more. More secrets! More bombs! She was right that Jasper was hiding something! Lapis felt foolish. Jasper grabbed her wine on the table and quickly guzzled it down. Dia watched with concern as Jasper slammed the empty glass on the table, sighing deeply. "There is no right way to say it. I-I was afraid if I told you—I don’t know. You would leave or something. And I need to make it up to you Dia and-and you."

Lapis scowled, waiting for the rest of the answer. Jasper was visibly troubled; a guilt-ridden expression reading on her face. The muscles in her arms were taut underneath her skin. She avoided looking at Lapis, inhaling sharply before she spoke, “I was the one who left you at the park.”

“Wait. What?” She gasped, feeling like she had been punched, all the air knocked from her lungs. Jasper caught her breath, closing her eyes and pressing her lips together.

“Jasper was babysitting you while I was working,” Dia explained when Jasper didn’t continue. "She left to hang out with some friends, and the police picked you up. They found me; I was high and had drugs in my possession. I was arrested."

“I was pissed being stuck babysitting,” Jasper finally spoke again. “It was only supposed to be while your mom worked, but she asked if I could watch you a little longer. I wanted to go out with my friends. I figured you’d be fine for a few minutes while I went and hung out with them. Then, I got trashed. Ridiculously trashed. Time escaped me. The next thing I knew, Di was being arrested, and they were taking you away."

“So-so, let me get this straight, this entire time I thought my mom just left me and-and it was you? You're the reason I was shuttled from foster home to foster home. Why I had to resort to living out of a car? You sat and listen to me blame her and hate her and-and didn’t say anything,” Lapis sputtered, trying to grasp onto the new information. Jasper grimaced.

“Honey, no. It isn’t all Jasper’s fault. Don’t blame her. I’ve forgiven… “

“Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You-you have no right to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do. You went and got high and left me in the care of a 12-year-old who abandoned me at a park,” Lapis spit out at her mother before whipping her attention back to Jasper. “Did you really think that all this would make up for what you did?”

“No, but it was a start. I can’t change what happened, but I’m really trying to make amends, Lapis” Jasper’s voice was hoarse.

“Yeah, but you failed to mention it was because you fucked up my life!” Lapis shrieked and shot up, overwhelmed and hysterical. The restaurant went silent, and all heads turned toward them. She didn’t care that everyone was staring disapprovingly. She needed to get out of there. Lapis hurried through the maze of tables. She could feel the heat of dozens of eyes on her. Her chest felt like it was going to burst; her eyes stung with unshed tears. Jasper called after her, weaving through the tables. Lapis ignored her, pushing passed a group of people waiting to get in. Jasper was the last person she wanted to see. A hand clasped on her arm, catching her as she stumbled. Stupid heels, she cursed. Jasper didn’t let go, keeping her in place.

“Lapis, please,” she pleaded, her eyes glistening in the gleam of the streetlight. “I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner. About your mom. About the park. Everything. Come back, have dinner, talk to me. To us. I did this for you.”

“You know what…I don’t believe that ” she scoffed, pulling her arm away and facing Jasper directly. “I think you did this for you. To clear your conscious or whatever.”

“No, no…”

“You don’t sound too sure. It doesn’t matter. You just dropped a fucking nuke on me. Two, actually. My life…my mom’s life…they were ruined because of you. I thought she abandoned me for years. Can you imagine how that feels? To feel like you are so worthless that your own mother didn’t want you? Then, you spring her on me? You lied to me. You tricked me. I-I can’t trust you. I really don’t know you,” Lapis rambled, her voice getting softer and softer as she tried to soak back sobs. Tears were trickling down Jasper’s cheeks. She could feel tears falling down her own. “I want you to leave me alone. Just get away from me."

“Lapis…” Jasper tried to grab her, but she dodged her advance.

“Don’t touch me. I’m serious. Leave me alone.” She turned on her heels before Jasper could say anything. The cold air nipped at her exposed shoulders and arms. She had forgotten her jacket in her rush to leave. Lapis wrapped her arms around herself, trying to warm up. She sobbed as tears rushed down her face. Everything she knew, everything she believed, it was a lie. She was so confused. It was Jasper's fault. Her whole life had been altered because of her. If it weren't for Jasper's irresponsibility, Lapis would have had her mom. She wouldn't have jumped for home to home. It probably would have been perfect. That's not entirely true, she reasoned. Your mother made a bad decision too. I would have had her, though, Lapis fought back.

The night was quiet, and all she could hear was the clack of her heels on the pavement and the whisper of the wind. She fought the urge to run back to the restaurant as fear crept up her spine. There was no one out, the streets completely void of any human life. A couple of cars were parked on the side of the road, and the businesses were dark, closed for the night. Lapis's stomach dropped. She looked around, trying to get a grip on her surroundings. She had no clue how far she walked or where she was. This place was unfamiliar. Maybe she should just go back. That is when she heard it. A scrap of a shoe against the sidewalk like a hand running along sandpaper. The hair on her arms stood on end, and her heart thudded in her chest. Lapis took a few steps forward, the sound echoed behind her.

Tentatively, Lapis peered behind her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a shadow standing by one of the buildings several feet away. They must have sensed she was aware of her presence because they rushed at her. Lapis took off running from the assailant. She tried to scream, but it caught in her throat. She tried to fill her lungs with air, but her throat burned with exertion. The heels hindered her sped and made her clumsy as she remained a few steps ahead of her chaser. Lapis twisted down one street, hoping to confuse whoever was behind her. They turned the corner just as quick. They were going to catch her. Lapis paled at the thought of what they had planned. She was getting too tired to run.

Fortunately, there was a business open this late, a lighted open sign glowed in the window. Without even glancing at the name, Lapis ducked in as a bell chiming above her. She kept her head down and raced to the back of the store. The single worker was a young man in his mid-twenties with red hair and a green plaid shirt. He regarded her with curiosity. Lapis gulped for air, her lungs burning. She rested a hand on her chest, trying to calm her breathing. She listened for that same bell that announced her entry. Nothing, but all she could hear was the roar of her pulse. The worker slid away from his post, approaching her.

“Are you okay?” Lapis shook her head.

"No. Someone followed me," she gasped. The man's green eyes widened, and he turned his attention to the door.

“Stay here. I’ll check it out.” He bounced, excitedly. Lapis scoffed, panting heavily. She heard the bell go off and the door slam shut. A few minutes later, the man came back, scratching his head. “I didn’t see anyone.”

“They must have turned around or something. Can I stay here while I wait for a someone to pick me up?” He twisted his lips, unsure.

“Are you 18?” Lapis blinked.

“What does this have to do with anything?”

"This is an adult toy store. You have to be 18," he explained. Lapis skimmed the area. There were various sex toys, books, clothes, and movies lining the walls and shelves of the store. She smacked her hand against her head. Out of all the places…She pulled her ID from her wristlet and gave it to the worker. He examined her card before giving it back. While she returned it to her clutch, Lapis pulled out her phone. She refused to call Jasper and Amethyst was too far away. There was only one other person she could call. The phone rang five times before she answered.

“Peridot?”

“Lapis? What-what’s up?”

“I know we aren’t speaking and all, but I really, really need your help. Can you please come pick me up?”

“Uh, yeah. Sure. But, what about Jasper?”

“I-I’m not speaking with Jasper,” Lapis answered, icily.

“What? Why?”

"Can I explain later? I'm sure someone was following me, and I'm really scared."

“Okay, okay. Just stay there and I'll be there in twenty."


	23. Moving On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LIIIVEE. First off, formatting this was unusually difficult. So, if there is something off, please let me know. Second, I'm sorry for the huge delay in updating. It's been chaotic with school and moving and everything else. Whenever I did get a chance to write, I lacked any motivation or inspiration. I FINALLY had a moment of calm and an itch to write, so here is the next chapter!

Lapis woke up to Peridot speaking in hushed tones. She strained her ears to hear the conversation, pretending to be still asleep.  After they had disconnected last night, Lapis hung close to the register. She was too embarrassed to walk through the store and too scared to wander into any obscured place.  It gave her a good view of the customers coming in and out of the store.  It was interesting to see the type of people browsing or purchasing items. Lapis tried not to pry into their business, but sometimes curiosity got the best of her. She concluded that people were weird though she couldn’t imagine how she looked, a young girl loitering in a sex shop dressed to the nines was probably not a regular occurrence. It wasn’t long before Peridot rushed into the store and dragged her out as quickly as she could. She avoided making an eye contact with any of the customers or merchandise.   

When they reached Peridot’s apartment, Lapis wasn’t sure what to do. It was only a week ago that they had kissed on the couch and it seemed strange to return so soon. The memory was all too fresh. She could still feel the humiliation in her cheeks. It was evident Peridot felt the same. She awkwardly offered Lapis a drink and made sure to sit as far away from her as possible while Lapis ruefully stared at the drink in her hand. They sat in silence until Peridot finally caved and asked what happened. Lapis was reluctant at first, but once she started, she suddenly spilled everything—the aquarium, the restaurant, her mother, Jasper’s confession—in an excited, angry rush. Peridot listened in silence, taking everything in. When Lapis finished, all Peridot said was ‘wow' and ‘I'm sorry.' That was enough to break Lapis. She burst into frustrated tears, hating herself for it. The last two weeks—no, the last few months—had been the most emotional and challenging that she had ever experience. Much to Lapis's surprise, Peridot pulled her into a consoling hug. She never realized how much she needed it until then.      

“Yeah, she told me,” Peridot was saying, breaking through Lapis’s thoughts. There was a long pause followed by a soft and forced, “I really don’t want to get involved in my boss’s personal matters. But, I’m keeping an eye on her as _her_ friend.”

Lapis scowled, knowing all too well who was on the other end. Just the thought of her reignited Lapis's anger. She pulled the covers closer to her body and curled tightly into herself. New tears threatened to spill from her eyes; her chest tightened as an angry sob stuck in her throat.  How could she be so fucking naïve?! She knew Jasper was hiding something; she knew that all her kindness covered an ulterior motive. And she fell for it. She even went as far as asking to stay with her. The very thought made her shudder on the blanket.        

What was she going to do now? All of her stuff was at Jasper's place. She had no place to go at this point until she talked to Garnet. Asking Peridot was out of the question. One night was awkward enough, Lapis couldn't handle more than that. Maybe she could to crash at Amethyst's place. No. The commute would be hell, and she needed to stay in the city if she planned on doing the transition program. Lapis lost in her thoughts, didn't notice Peridot had hung up the phone. Delicately, Peridot tapped her shoulder, startling her. She flung the covers away from her head, blinking at Peridot's anxious face.      

“I’m assuming you heard,” Peridot said, softly. Lapis grumbled her reply, sitting up to make room for Peridot, using the heel of her hand to rub her sore eyes. Peridot took the seat, folding her hands neatly in her lap. She was wearing an oversized black t-shirt and boxers with green alien heads on them. Her blonde hair was disheveled though Lapis knew she didn’t look any better. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m feeling just peachy,” Lapis muttered then heavily sighed. “I don’t know. I just don’t know what to do. I’m so fucking…angry! I feel betrayed and stupid and all this negative shit.”

“Yeah, I can imagine,” Peridot replied, dumbly. “It’s a pretty fucked up situation.” Her voice trailed as if she wanted to add something. Lapis decided to ignore it, continuing her rant.

“I can’t forgive Jasper. I can’t. I won’t. She ruined my life. She ruined my mom’s. She lied to me. She tricked me.” Peridot pursed her lips, obviously wanting to say something, but held her tongue. Or she was trying to figure how to approach it. Lapis wasn’t in the mood for the pussyfooting, choosing to confront her. “What?”

“It’s just that—and this is just me being devil’s advocate because I do think what Jasper did was shitty—I think you might be a bit too harsh. Ah—no. Hear me out before you say anything because I thought about this last night. Jasper was only like twelve, right? That's pretty young to be looking after a someone's kid. I get it is old enough to know right from wrong, but it sounds like she didn't have great influences, to begin with."  Lapis gaped at her, eyes wide and unmoving. She—she was siding with Jasper? Heat coiled in her gut, her stomach heavy from the lead boulder sinking in it. Peridot’s face was thoughtful yet worried as she unsteadily continued. “I’m not trying to defend her actions but…”

“So, what are you saying? Should I just forgive her? Forget it ever happened, and it didn't derail my life? Like everything is hunky dory?” She accused, sharply, clutching her fists at her side. 

"Eh, not exactly. It sounds like Jasper made a stupid decision when she was a kid,  and she is trying to make up for it. I think you just need someone to blame right now and she's the easiest target.”

“What would you know? You had a family. Yeah, they might be overbearing but, at least they were there! I didn’t get to have my mom!” Lapis snapped angrily, jumping to her feet. She lurched forward, grabbing her discarded shoes on the floor.  Peridot frantically followed Lapis as she stormed toward the door.  

“You’re right. I haven’t been in this position. But, I’m just trying to help.” There was a tone of annoyance and desperation tinting the edges of her voice. Lapis hated it. She had every right to blame Jasper! She admitted to altering her whole life. And here she was, again, turning it upside down. Lapis was fine without her! She would still be fine without her. And her mother too.  

“You’re not doing a very good job,” Lapis yelled, yanking open the door.

“Yeah, I’m sensing that,” Peridot replied, bitterly, before Lapis slammed it behind her.

* * *

 

 

Lapis stared at the door, frozen in place. Her heart thudded in her chest, echoing in her ears. She squeezed the key to Jasper’s apartment in her hand, crushing it between her fingers until it cut into her flesh. There was no indication if Jasper was home or not. This was meant to be quick. Go in, grab her stuff— _her stuff_ —and get out. Fast. Simple. But, if Jasper was home, it wouldn’t be so easy. She would have no other choice, but to confront her. Jasper would talk; Lapis would yell. Oh, and how she would yell. Just let her have it, get everything off her chest and out in the open. The pressure brimming under the surface like a shaken-up soda ready to burst. There would be tears; Lapis had no doubt they would both cry. It could get physical because Lapis felt like punching something, someone. Jasper would try and stop her, pleading and apologizing like she had the other night. Or maybe she wouldn’t. Maybe she would just let her go, realize her mistake. All these scenarios played in her head as she studied the door. She would never know the outcome until she opened it.  

With a heavy sigh, Lapis slid the key into the hole and turned slowly.  She pushed opened the door slowly, peering inside the apartment. Everything was still, dark and quiet. There was no sign that anyone was home. A tentative wave relief rushed through Lapis as she gained more confidence and briskly entered. Her shoes clattered on the tile as she made a beeline toward her bedroom. Immediately, she threw off her dress, tossed her shoes to the side and changed into a tank and jeans. Lapis scurried, dashing around the room, collecting the few items she wanted to take with her. Since all she had owned before coming there were some ratty clothes with bad memories woven in the thread, Lapis only took a few outfits that Jasper had given her.  She probably should leave money for Jasper as payment. It felt like stealing if she didn’t. Though, technically, she was just giving back the money. Possibly dirty money. Whatever! Lapis wasn’t going to dwell on it. She had what she needed; it was time to go.    

At least leave a note, a small voice spoke in the back of her mind as she headed to the front door. Lapis paused in the middle of the suite, staring at the shadows dancing on the walls. Did she really need to write a note? Lapis waited for a response, but only crickets replied. She stomped her feet in a small tantrum and stormed into the kitchen. Setting her clothes down, she grabbed a small notepad and pen from the drawer and slammed it on the counter. The tip of the pen hovered over the page as she contemplated on what to write. Where could she even begin? Lapis tapped her nails on the countertop, staring at the blank page in front of her. This was a waste of time! Aggravated, Lapis tossed the pen and notepad back into the drawer; however, she quickly retrieved it. She couldn't just leave without saying something, right?

Finally, Lapis simply wrote ‘I’m leaving, bye, L.L’ and tore the page. She wrapped it around the little bit of money she had and set it in clear view for Jasper to find. Lapis stopped and took one last look around the suite. There was a heaviness in her chest that just refused to lift. Tears prickled at the corners of her eyes. This had been home even for a short while. It had been the closest thing to a home that she knew; however, Lapis couldn’t bare another night in a place filled with deceit and betrayal. Everything was taunting her as it stood motionless in the dark. Just as she grabbed her clothes and headed toward the door, it flew open with a massive crash.    No, no, no, Lapis chanted in her head, frozen like a deer in the headlights. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Jasper stumbled in, slamming the door behind her. She took a few unsteady steps forward, stopping when she saw Lapis.    

“Oh, hey, Blue,” she greeted, brightly. She blinked a couple of times, shaking her head. Her pupils were blown against the amber irises of her eyes; a fine sheen of sweat issued from her forehead; there was a slight tremble in her body. Jasper was still wearing the dress from last night. She looked a little disheveled as if she had been up all night. Lapis scowled. Well, this wasn’t right. She shook away her concern. More than likely, Jasper was ridiculously drunk. It seemed fitting.

“I was just leaving,” Lapis replied, flatly. She waited for the cheerful expression to fall from Jasper’s face and braced herself for the onslaught of crying and pleading and yelling, but it never happened. Jasper just grinned, bobbing her head.

“Okay, okay. No problem. I’ve got some work to do, so I’ll see you.” She didn’t wait for Lapis to answer. Jasper quickly went into her office and shut the door. Lapis could hear her shuffling beyond the closed door. Her brows furrowed in confusion as she glanced around the hall. That—that wasn’t what she expected. Actually, it made her madder. Why was she acting as if nothing happened? Lapis scoffed, rolling her eyes. Whatever. She didn’t care, and it was obvious that Jasper didn’t either. Just as well, it made it even easier to leave! Without another glance behind her, Lapis left Jasper’s apartment and headed to the street. 

 


End file.
